I can hear Mason’s laugh before I even open the door. It’s the loudest and most obnoxious he’s sounded since he’s been back in town, and my entire chest constricts in anticipation of having to talk to this version of him. I swing the door open and move quickly through the restaurant; I’m almost behind the bar without being noticed when I hear Ben’s voice.
“Heyyyyyy, there she is. You’re right—it is Birdie! Hey, Birdie!” He’s hammered, and it’s barely four o’clock. I can’t bring myself to look at him, but I won’t let him get to me either, so instead, I raise my right hand and flip him the middle finger while I walk the rest of the way through the door.
“Dammmmmmn,” I hear the other guys teasing him while the door shuts, and I’m glad I made a dent. I just hope I didn’t provoke them to give me more shit. I’m strong—and I’ve worked hard to get strong. But even I have my limits. And if they all pile on, they’ll break me.
“Where’s Max?” Claire asks when she joins me at the back lockers.
“I just let him stay home. Dad’s with him; he’s coming in later, so I figured you could just meet Max there. Is that okay?” I hate how much I rely on Claire. She always says she doesn’t mind. But my life has become her life—and she didn’t really sign up for all of this.
“Of course. I’ll pick up something to eat for your pop on my way there. Max need anything?” she asks, but I’m so lost in my thoughts, I don’t register her words. “Avery? You in there?”
“Oh, uh…yeah. Sorry…” I shake my head, and strip my shirt to put my Dusty’s one on. “I’m just so stressed. It’s school tomorrow—Max’s first day.”
“That’s right,” she says, sitting down on the bench next to me, pulling her shoes off, and replacing them with flip-flops. “It’ll be good, Avery. You knew this was coming. And Max…he’s ready. He’s been so good for me in the evenings.”
“Yeah, but no offense, Claire. I’m not worried about how he is at night. It’s the four hours in the beginning of the day in a classroom full of other five-year-olds that scares the shit out of me. What if he has a meltdown? What if he doesn’t make any friends? What if…” I can’t help the crack in my emotions when I think about this, and I have to pause to wipe my eyes on the inside of my shirt. “What if he can’t do this, Claire? Where do we go from that?”
My friend slides over to me and pulls me in with her slender arm, tugging me close. “Then we figure that out…if that’s what happens,” she says, and I start to protest, but she’s quick to hold up her hand. “Ah ah ah. I said if. Don’t be so quick to discount that boy of yours. He’s mighty capable—and you should know that.”
I smile at her when she says that. I smile because I can tell she believes Max is capable, too. She’s right—I’m his advocate, his fighter and his hero. And if anyone believes Max can do this, it’s me. And if I have to burn Rome just to get him through kindergarten, than that’s what the hell I’m going to do.
“You’re good at this, you know. This best friend gig?” I say, swatting at her with my apron while she stands. She just laughs and runs her fingers through her hair a few times before grabbing her bag and purse.
“I’ll read with him tonight. And we’ll get to bed early, just so he’s rested. But, hey…listen,” she says, peeking out the kitchen door at the cackling group of four sitting near the pool tables. “If you need to call me…you know, just to get through that? I’ll be up, okay?”
Pursing my lips into a tight smile, I just give her a nod. Yeah. That. I’m not sure how I’m going to get through that. But if my son can head bravely into a classroom full of kids he doesn’t know tomorrow, then the least I can do is survive a six-hour shift with a bunch of drunk, washed-up musicians.
I follow Claire out and wave goodbye while I start to set up glasses with Cole. I’m glad he’s here. He’s been bouncing and bartending for my dad for the last three years, and I’m glad my dad has someone he can count on. Cole moved here with his brother, and they share a small house on the far north end of town. They’re into horses. They even do riding lessons during the week. I’ve always wanted to set Cole up with Claire—I know she’d be up for it. But, he’s just sort of this mystery. I might just try though…once Max gets school settled, and I can start to focus again.