“Maybe Rowe can help you out there,” Cass says. “She and Nate are friends.”
My stomach is thumping with my own pulse, and I feel heat roll over my spine. I decide to keep my eyes down, because I know looking up will give something away. This is jealousy. I remember this emotion, too.
“Oh. My. God! You’re friends with Nate Preeter? He is so f**king hot! How can you even stand it?” Paige continues to gush about Nate, his perfect abs, his eyes, his ass—she’s the female version of a Hooter’s patron. The more she talks about him, the more I wish I never met him at all, because then I wouldn’t have to be in this situation, feeling…gah! I don’t know what this is I’m feeling, and that’s part of the problem.
“I don’t know him that well,” I say, trying to get her to drop it.
“That’s okay. Just introduce us. He’ll remember me from the party when you do, and I can take it from there.”
I don’t answer her, but it doesn’t matter. She goes back to the closet, stripping out of the short dress she had on and opting for an even shorter one. Cass is looking at me again, but I can’t tell if she’s smiling or showing sympathy, because I won’t bring my eyes back up to deal with anything else that happens in this room tonight. Putting my headphones on, I turn up the volume on my iPod and close my eyes, lying back, and pretending to rest while my mind conjures up pictures of my fist in Paige’s face. And I hate that I feel this way.
Katy Perry is blasting from the speakers in the gym, and Paige is singing along loudly. Check—one more assumption confirmed. Nothing against Katy—she’s on my iPod, too. She’s just followed up by the Kings of Leon and The National. Maybe I’m a music snob, and it’s probably from two years of social isolation, but I just feel like a person who sings along with Katy Perry…in public, for attention…doesn’t have much else to offer.
Of course, the fact that I can see Paige’s ni**les through the fabric of her dress begs to differ. Yes, she has two more things to offer, and she’s serving them up tonight. I just hope Nate’s not interested. Or maybe I don’t care. Maybe I hope he is interested so that way I can sum him up nicely too, and go back to putting my life back together.
“Thirty-three.” Nope, I definitely hope he’s not interested in Paige. His voice is deep and perfect; I couldn’t make his southern accent up if I tried.
“Heinz,” I say, instantly wishing I owned a dress like Paige’s. Not that I could ever fill it out like she does. Once again, I’m in denim shorts and a tank top. I pull the bottom of my shirt down to my pockets, making sure it covers my scars underneath.
“Heinz?”
“You know, Heinz Fifty-Seven?” My joke doesn’t feel as clever now, and I can see Paige rolling her eyes next to me, just waiting to steal the spotlight. Nate smirks and chuckles quietly; I feel pretty confident it was a pity laugh.
“So, this is my roommate Cass, you met her yesterday?” Nate smiles and nods toward her, quickly moving his eyes back to me. I can feel Paige kicking at my feet just waiting for her turn. “Oh, and this is my other roommate, Paige. They’re sisters.”
“By blood, but really, we’re nothing alike,” Paige says, stepping in front of both Cass and me to make sure she’s the first thing Nate sees. And I know he sees her br**sts, because I watch both his and Ty’s bodies tense as their eyes zero in exactly where Paige wants them to go. She’s like a bloody hypnotist! She may be a genius.
“They’re tits, boys. Get over them,” Cass says, walking over to the check-in table and leaving me both mortified and in awe all at once.
When I turn back around, Nate’s eyes are back on me. He’s rubbing his chin, laughing because Cass caught him.
“Sorry, nothing to see here,” I say, grabbing my chest and squeezing. It’s like an out-of-body experience, and I can’t believe I said something so bold and brave, but the way he smiles makes me feel proud.
The program director starts calling everyone into the main gym for activities, so we all follow Paige through the doors. The crowd is a little overwhelming, and my feet feel stuck to the carpet. Paige is far ahead of me, and Cass and Ty are close behind her. I can feel my chest crackling, fighting to breathe, when suddenly Nate’s hand rests on my back. His touch makes my eyes blink rapidly, and it feels like a thousand volts into my heart. And then…calm.
“Come on, we’ll survive this together,” he says, his breath hot against my neck and ear. Despite the dozens of strangers packed in the small space around me, I’m still standing…and breathing. And I think that’s because of Nate.