More than getting away, I was anxious to be alone with her. Things had been off lately. I was pretty sure the crap with Dylan and my brother was part of the problem, but we were just plain out of sync, too. If I didn’t know how much she loved me, I would have thought she was trying to gain the courage to dump my ass—the way she flinched when I touched her, and cut our kisses short, pulling her lips tight. I had talked to Trig and his girlfriend Amy about it a few times, and they told me it was probably just the long distance thing. Of course, Trig was always filling my head with shit about how long distance relationships never worked, so he wasn’t very convincing at lifting my spirits.
I was looking forward to our usual Thursday afternoon more than normal. The Sunday after the Colorado game had been especially weird. I drove up to ASU to take Nolan out for dinner and had planned to spend the night, but she said she was tired. She was off in space through most of our dinner conversation, said she was just super stressed about her big psychology project. When I pressed her on it, she got defensive, told me I wasn’t helping things with the draft pressure I’d thrown at her.
I was hoping I could ease a little of her stress today. After a few long calls with Dylan, we pretty much narrowed down my most likely options in the draft to San Diego or Seattle. And with Sean’s help, I was able to pull together some pretty good research on transferring from ASU’s special education program to San Diego State’s. I was pretty sure most of Nolan’s scholarships would transfer, too; not that it mattered. Whether she liked it or not, I was going to pay the rest of her tuition once I got signed.
Amy offered to help me with researching Washington and Oregon schools next. Anything I could do to show Nolan how easy this next move was going to be had to take away some of her fears.
When I pulled into her parking lot, it was a little later than my usual visit. I knew she was probably already up in her room, so I sent her a text and told her I was running late and would just meet her upstairs.
I stole a candy from the dish at her front desk, mostly because it was funny how the freshman girls that worked the afternoon shifts acted when I did. Today, I winked at them when I passed by, which sent them into whispers and giggles. “Funny, if my life had gone the way of Jason’s, I’d have slept with every single one of them by now,” I thought.
I skipped the elevators and took the stairs to save time. With 15 floors in her building, it took forever for the elevators to make their way back to the lobby floor. I heard a couple arguing when I was coming closer to Nolan’s floor and thought about stepping out a level early to give them some privacy when I realized it was Nolan’s voice I was hearing. I slowed a bit then, trying to get a handle on what she was saying…and who the dude was on the other side of the conversation.
“I’m not angry. But please, you need to drop this,” I heard Nolan say in a half-whisper, her voice full of frustration.
“Nolan, I just don’t think you’re being fair to yourself, that’s all I’m saying…” I wasn’t sure on this one, so I stood still for another minute, just waiting him out.
“Gavin, you don’t know anything about me,” I heard her sigh now.
Gavin. Fucking ass**le.
“I don’t drink often, and I think we can both see why now. The other night was just a HUGE mistake at the end of a really shitty week. That’s it.”
My blood was boiling now, and I was pretty sure I was going to punch Gavin in the face in about seven seconds. But I wasn’t fast enough and heard him speak one more time.
“Well, it wasn’t a mistake on my part. I made the decision to do everything I did that night. And I’d make the same choice again, right here, right now.”
His words trapped me—ground me to a f**king halt. I heard Nolan sigh once more, followed by the sound of the door opening and slamming shut. I watched Gavin’s feet climb the stairs above me to his floor, and I stood there frozen in fury. “What did that ass**le do to my girl?”
I hung out in the stairwell for about 15 minutes, just trying to sort through the conversation I’d heard. I didn’t know what to do next. Part of me wanted to barrel into Gavin’s room and hold him up against the wall until he broke, but the other part of me knew I only had half the story. And that part was making me sick.
Finally able to get my legs to work, and tired of the strange looks from freshmen passing in and out of the stairwell, I climbed the rest of the way to Nolan’s floor. I took a deep breath when I swung the hall door open, unsure of what I was walking into. Her floor was clear, no one around. I drug my feet to her door at the end and stood in front of it for a few seconds, not sure what words would, or should, come out of my mouth when I saw her.