I held the box with my grandmother’s ring in it for two hours, flipping it open and then shut. Finally sick of flipping back and forth between what I had wanted a day ago and what I was faced with now, I just set it there on my chest, open and taunting me. Part of me registered the sound of my door, but I didn’t realize I wasn’t alone anymore until Trig broke into my numb silence.
“Woah, damn…is that what I think it is?” he said, reaching for the box on my chest. Reacting, I flipped it closed and pocketed it before he got too close.
“It’s nothing,” I said, sitting up and rubbing my hand through my hair to try to hide the wallowing that clearly had been done over the last hour.
“Oooookay then. You hungry or something? Didn’t you eat with Nolan? You know you turn into a bitch when you don’t eat,” Trig was trying to be funny, but I wasn’t in the mood.
“I’m not hungry,” I said, standing and sliding on a gray beanie and then a sweatshirt. I started pacing around the room on a hunt for my shoes.
“Dude, you a’right man?” Trig asked. I locked eyes with him for a minute, and then continued looking for my shoes.
“I can’t find my f**king shoes. Do you know where they are?” I was short.
“Uh, no. I’m not your f**king shoe keeper,” Trig shot back, calling me out a little on my attitude. I just sighed and sat back on the edge of my bed, holding my forehead in my hands and rubbing my temples.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to be a dick. I’ve just had a shit day,” I said, holding a little back, and unsure if I wanted to get into it with Trig.
“Aw, what happened man, lovebirds fighting?” he said with a chuckle. He was trying to lighten my mood, but he had no idea how dead right he was. I just rubbed my hands on my face and finally stopped, holding my head in my hands and shrugged. Trig got it right away. “Ah shit, man. I’m sorry. Wanna…talk about it?”
He was uncomfortable. So was I. And I wasn’t ready to talk yet. I finally spotted the laces of one of my shoes under Trig’s bed and stood up to grab them. “No talking. I wanna go to the bar. I’m buying, you in?”
“Fuck yeah,” he said, grabbing his keys and jacket. “We’ve got late practice tomorrow. Let’s go.”
I was about four beers in at Cooler’s before I felt like opening up about things to Trig. Even then, it took him asking again about the ring he’d seen for me to start talking.
“So seriously, man, was that an engagement ring I saw you flashing around? Is that what happened? Oh…wait! Did you ask, and she said no?” he was making up his own story now.
“No, jack off. That’s not what happened,” I said, taking a big drink and finishing the rest of my beer. I pushed the mug to the side, tapping the top of it to let the bartender know I wanted another. Rubbing my eyes a little and scrunching my brow, I finally started to fill Trig in. I told him about the conversation I’d heard, and how Gavin actually had the nerve to come back up to her room.
Trig was ready to drive back up to ASU to beat his ass with me, but I just bought him another beer and told him to sit his ass down. “Thing is, man…she kissed him back,” I said, pushing my lips tight, gritting my teeth and staring at the edge of the bar in front of me. That was the part that was killing me most. “I wish I could fix this by just taking it out on that ass**le, believe me. But I can’t. Something’s wrong. It’s been wrong for a while, and f**k, man? She kissed him back…”
I shook my head more and started on my fifth beer. My stomach was rolling over with hunger, so Trig and I ordered some nachos and got comfortable for the night. We were going to be here for a while.
“Sorry man,” he said, just shaking his head. “I never saw this coming. I mean, I know I give you shit about long distance relationships and all, but that’s only because I never thought you’d really have to worry about it. Hell, my girl is here with me, and I almost f**k things up on a weekly basis!”
I laughed a little at him. Trig was a good friend, and I was lucky I’d found him. But I knew he wouldn’t be able to help. I was pretty sure no one could, and definitely not tonight. No, tonight was about me drowning my thoughts, throwing a huge-ass pity party, and finding a way to quit being so damned angry with Nolan. A little stupid from drinking, but still in control of my actions, I pulled my phone from my pocket and sent my best friend Sean a text. He was used to these, and he was my bro. Had been since high school. He would know what I should do next.