I hadn’t seen her face in weeks, months almost. I had heard her voice, yes, but it was weighted with alcohol when she called, and it didn’t sound right. I noticed the small box on the center of my bed while I was getting dressed, and I grabbed it quickly, stuffing it in the drawer of my night table. I wanted to look good for Nolan, but I also wanted to look comfortable. I must have changed shirts a dozen times, trying to find the one that sent the perfect message; except I had no f**king clue what message I was trying to send. I was acting a lot like a girl. “This is ridiculous,” I thought, finally settling on the long-sleeved black thermal and my dark jeans.
I was sliding down the stairs when I heard the familiar timber of her voice talking to Pops. Her words were clear, on the verge of happy. It was so opposite from the last time I’d heard her. I stopped a few steps from the corner just to listen.
“Nolan, my dear, you look lovely,” Rosie said. I could see her reaching to hug Nolan, but still couldn’t see her face. “OH! Honey, you didn’t need to bring anything.”
“I know…I…uhm. I just wanted to. I made it myself. It took me all day, I hope it’s good,” she sounded so damned unsure of herself all of a sudden. “It’s a peach cobbler. I hope it’s okay. I’ve never made one before.”
“I’m sure it’s delicious,” Rosie said. “Here, let’s put it in the fridge.”
“No, it’s okay. I know where it is, I’ll take it,” Nolan said, and then passed through the group gathered by the front door to head to my kitchen. I was frozen to the steps as I watched her walk away from me, completely unaware that I was watching her. Her brown hair had gotten longer. She’d curled it into waves, and wore a red sweater with tight black pants, and knee-high boots. She looked like a girl from some romantic movie—some main character that the boy sees once, and then spends the entire rest of the movie chasing, just so he could learn her name. “I was that lame-ass boy,” I thought.
When I realized she was heading to the kitchen alone, I squeezed my eyes shut for a second, pushing my palms into them, a little confused at my thoughts. I had been so angry at her. But seeing her again? Well, that had me suddenly a lot less angry. I took a deep breath, and followed her into the kitchen. She was balancing the dessert in one palm and trying to open the refrigerator door with her other hand, not quite able to get it open.
“Need a hand?” I said, startling her. She jumped a bit, and the edge of the tray hit the corner of the refrigerator, knocking it sideways, and sending it in a slow-motion flip to the floor. She just stared at the pile of peaches and crust that spread the floor beneath her, her hand over her mouth like she’d witnessed some horrible accident. And then without warning, she started to cry, her hand hiding her face as she bent down to feel for pieces of her broken cobbler to clean it up.
My instincts kicked in, and I started to help. “Noles, damn. I’m so sorry. I got it, it’s okay. It’s fine. We have plenty of food,” I said, trying to clean it up before she had to look at it any longer. She just looked up into my eyes then, hers so sad and puffy. She started to cry harder then, and I couldn’t take it. I slid, kneeling, closer to her and just reached for her, pulling her into a hug in my lap.
“Hey…” I whispered. “It’s okay. I got you. It’s okay…shhhhhhh.” I just held her while her body quivered in my arms. I stroked her hair, and each time I tucked the strands behind her ear, she shook a little more, letting out everything inside. My girl was broken. She’d ripped my heart from my chest when she kissed another man, and then stepped on it when she let him spend the night with her. But seeing her cry like this…I couldn’t handle it.
I was content to stay there the rest of the night. I wasn’t hungry, and I was fine sitting in a pile of peaches, and flour and sugar. But my moment wasn’t meant to last long as Jason rounded the corner just in time to break everything just a little more. “Whoa, what the hell?” he said as he saw spilt dessert on the floor. “Ooooooh, sorry…did I interrupt?” He was such an ass.
Nolan broke from my arms immediately upon the sound of his voice, rubbing her nose on her sleeve, and going back to work cleaning up the floor. “Sorry, I dropped the cobbler. I’ll get it, Reed. You go,” she said, willing me away.
“I can help,” I said, reaching for her just a little. When she pulled away, it broke me all over again. She just looked up at me, her lips tight as she took in a deep breath.
“I’m good. Just go,” she said before going back to work.