“You look sad,” she said.
“I am,” I was always honest with Nancy.
Then Nancy put her small hand on the center of my chest and closed her eyes. Her act made me a laugh a little, prompting me finally to ask: “What exactly are you doing?”
“I’m taking your sad away and making it mine,” she was serious, and I wouldn’t dare laugh at this. “You can have my happy for a while until I get this figured out for you and give you your heart back.”
Hugging Nancy, I cried and realized that, up until now, I hadn’t done that yet. I had been holding my tears in, afraid to let them go. But now, as I did, I realized that maybe Nancy, my angel, had been my passion all along. And helping her, and kids like her, was what made me better than those who tore me down.
Nancy had suddenly made me strong when I felt weak. She took away my alone. My heart? That’s healing, too. And loving someone isn’t what makes me special, it’s my ability to love…period…that sets me apart. At least, that’s what my angel told me.
The bell started ringing just as I finished, but the entire class sat still. Uncomfortable, I just closed my notebook and slid from the stool and found my way back to my desk, my eyes looking down at my feet.
Saving me from the discomfort of this awkward attention, Mr. Bosch started to talk, explaining our next assignment and dismissing the class. I finally breathed with relief when people started shuffling their backpacks and leaving the room. Reed was the first to go.
Sienna leaned over as she was packing her bag and I noticed her eyes were glossy and red. “Holy crap, Nolan,” she whispered. “That was good. Like…really good!”
I smiled humbly. I wasn’t good at taking compliments. “Thanks,” I said. “It felt good to write. I just sort of wish Reed wasn’t here to hear it. I think…I think I made him really mad.”
Sienna just shrugged it off. But he left the room quickly, and everyone knew who the boy was in my story. I was pretty sure that I’d just fired a warning shot, however unintentionally, yet I had no want for war. All I could hope for was that the truth in my writing would be enough to win over the scholarship judges now. At least my heartache could earn me that.
Reed ended up playing in the final game of the season, and as I predicted (and had promised him) he was just as good as he’d always been. Maybe even better. He threw for 350 yards with four touchdowns, and that was only in a half. It was certainly enough to keep several colleges interested, and Buck was back in business managing his favorite client.
I went to the game with Sarah, but she took me home before it was over. I didn’t want to run into Reed after the game. Since I had read my piece in front of the class, I found myself avoiding him even more than before, something I was able to keep up for weeks.
The holidays passed quickly. Calley was home for the break and after not talking to her sister for the first two weeks, Sarah finally gave in. I had forgiven Calley and wanted Sarah to, too. But my loyal friend took a little wearing down to get there.
Sarah, Sienna and I were all going to ASU next year, and Calley and Sarah decided to move in together. It seemed that living with Tatum was too much, even for Calley. She had already moved out of their apartment and into a single dorm for the rest of the semester.
I didn’t go out for track this season, deciding to spend my spring focused on my studies and scholarship applications. I knew I had a shot at the creative writing scholarship, but I didn’t want to hang my hat on that alone. My parents were sure they could cover most of my schooling extras, but I knew every little bit would help, so I took on a few afternoon shifts at MicNic’s, too.
Both Reed and Sean had decided to skip track for the season, too. I knew Reed’s signing deadline was fast approaching, so I was sure he was spending every spare moment planning the best move with his dad.
I had seen Reed in class and in the halls, but I always managed to rush by without making eye contact. I thought I heard his Jeep pull down my street one night, but when I looked out my family’s front window, no one was there. It had been months now since I’d heard his voice, and I could hardly remember the sound of it.
I spent most of my spring break toiling away at the school library. The computer lab had become my working office and I had a goal of sending out one new scholarship packet each day. I had managed to score a few with my efforts, though most were only $50 or $100 stipends, barely a dent in the parking fees. But I kept moving forward since every check meant one less day working at the burger joint.
My face was buried in my backpack, looking for my headphones, when I ran into Buck, literally. “Whoa, oh my gosh, you scared me!” I laughed a little, surprised to see a car other than mine at the school parking lot during the break. “Whatcha doing here?” I slung the headphones over my shoulder along with my backpack.