I was speechless. Was she actually threatening to rumor me to death? Could she do that? Would that work?
“Think about it,” she continued. “Are you ready to be a whore? I know you’re not in love with Sean. And I bet you’re going to break up with him soon. I’ll start the rumor about the next guy you’re going to hook up with, too. Don’t think I won’t.” She chewed the inside of her cheek with a finality of confidence.
At that moment, I knew there was nothing Tatum wouldn’t do to ruin me in Reed’s eyes. And if I suffered, too, because of it was of no consequence to her either. In fact, that was icing.
I spent the entire meet in my own head. I was careful to avoid situations where I was even near Reed, and Sean’s events were spread throughout the meet, so I made sure that I was always on the opposite end of the field…conveniently. I was waiting for my 400 meter race, stretching along the far fences near the end zone when Reed jogged by with a group of guys. Damn. I didn’t see him coming.
He stopped right next to me and bent down for a bit to catch his breath.
“You know, you’re supposed to hold your arms over your head. Opens up your lungs,” I said. I figured might as well make it awkward and confrontational right out of the gate. I was still fuming over Tatum. But I was also frightened. I was a good girl, and I planned on staying one. I didn’t need the nightmare of a ruined reputation. Lost in my own thoughts, I jumped a bit when Reed bumped me on the side, bringing me back to the present.
“I know, but sometimes it just feels good to hang your head,” he said with a faint smile.
“I guess,” I shrugged, short with him.
I felt his stare while I continued to stretch and check the tightness on my shoes. I could tell he wanted to say something. But he seemed to be fighting with himself. I stepped a few paces away to sit down and do my butterfly stretches. Reed stayed where he was. When I leaned forward, I snuck a peek to see if he was looking elsewhere, any sign that he may be leaving. I was risking a lot being this close to him with Tatum around. Luckily she was over in the pits for the long jump finals. I was relieved when I finally heard his shoes scuff the pavement as he turned to walk the other way, and I collapsed on my hands in front of me, my face firmly planted in the sleeves of my sweatshirt. This…was going to be hard.
I ran home after the meet. I didn’t want to wait for a ride, and frankly all choices were bad ones. I know that Sean could sense something was wrong, but I wasn’t ready to have that conversation either. I would have to soon enough. But first I had to think about how to set off my chain of dominoes in such a way as to keep Tatum from spreading vicious rumors about me.
I was sliding through the gravel in my driveway when I heard the engine rumble behind me. I recognized it, amazingly. The slight spot of the lights that were shining behind me clicked off, followed by the crunch of feet landing on the rocks. I froze, letting out a big sigh as I turned. Reed’s eyes locked on mine. He looked furious.
“Hey! You think maybe when someone calls and texts you a thousand times you could at least text them back to let them know you’re ok?,” he shouted, accusingly.
“You called?” I dug out my phone to see 14 missed calls and a handful of texts. “Oh, … sorry. I just left in a hurry and I couldn’t hear my phone in my bag. I’m good. Just felt like walkin’.”
I was lying through my teeth and I could feel anger seeping up to my mouth. Thankfully, so far, my brain was working in overdrive to keep my words in check.
“Oh, I see,” he said, still angry in his tone. He pulled his hat off to run his hands through his hair before putting it back on. He kept turning to leave and then walking back a few steps only to return, each time pressing his lips in a firm line, almost like he was shoving his thoughts back inside. Not sure what to do, I picked up my bags and slung them over my shoulder and when his back was to me, said “Goodnight. Thanks for checking on me.”
Despite my best effort, my tone was clipped. There was a sense of snarkiness, and I didn’t mean it. I was just emotionally spent and sick, and it was now seeping from me in unexpected ways.
“Seriously? That’s all you got? ‘Thanks for checking on me,’” Reed repeated mockingly. I turned to face him, my eyes starting to sting a little as I fought to keep the tears at bay. I couldn’t tell if they were sad tears, angry tears or both. When I locked gazes with him again I just shrugged and gave him a crooked smile, shaking my head. “Yeah. That’s all I’ve got.”
Reed walked up to me deliberately and flung my bags from my shoulder, wrapping his arms around me in the warmest hug of my life after that. And suddenly I couldn’t stop them any more. I was toast. The tears came full force now and my body jerked with each heavy sob as I tried to stifle them some, let them out slowly. It was no use. It was as if 24 hours of torture were escaping all at once.