I grabbed my suddenly lighter bag from the bus and hurried down the aisle to the steps. I climbed out and waited while Sean stood by the side of the bus where they loaded the poles for vaulting. When he had his equipment we both walked to the center of the track and dropped our things to set up camp with everyone else. Tatum and her groupies were already running their warm up lap. Sean tugged at my pinky to get my attention.
“Wanna run? It’s good to keep warm,” he smiled. He had no idea.
I followed him over to the track and then like clockwork we set our steps in sync as we made our way around for a lap. My heart rate was up, and that was helping. It was two hours from now that worried me, though. We stepped back into the grass and started our stretching. I caught a glimpse of Reed and my eyes followed him as he took his lap around the track. With each bend to stretch I picked him up, following his movement as he rounded one end of the track and made his way towards us. I looked over at Sean and gulped when I saw him staring at me… staring at Reed. He looked at Reed and then back to me, nodding once. Knowing.
Reed came up and sat down to stretch with us.
“Fuckin’ cold, no?” he said, pulling his hood up over his head.
“No shit,” Sean replied, snuggling into his warm ups, too. He didn’t make eye contact with Reed though. “Hey, be right back. I have to hit the bathroom,” he said, hopping to his feet and running to the back of the stadium stands.
I finished my stretching with Reed, turning away from him some so Tatum didn’t think we were talking or that I’d invited his company. My legs were covered in goose bumps and my teeth were already starting to chatter.
“Noles, you should get your sweats on. It’s only going to get worse,” he stood up, jumping in place and raising his knees to warm up his legs.
“Yeah… I would, but…” I trailed.
“Did you forget them?” he said with raised eyebrows.
“Sorta,” I said. Not a total lie. I did forget to keep them safe, I thought.
In an instant, Reed reached up over his head and pulled his hood up, yanking his sweatshirt over his head. Some of his T-shirt came up exposing his muscular stomach and the waistband of his boxers. I sucked in air and quickly looked down as his sweatshirt dropped on my lap.
“Put it on. I’ll be ok with just the pants, I swear,” he said.
I was about to protest, but he was already walking away. Surely this would set Tatum off even more. But I was so cold. And his shirt smelled so good. I pushed my arms through the sleeves and pulled it over my head, letting the hood stay up. It was extra large, so I had enough slack in it to tuck my knees inside as I sat. I was feeling warmer already. But I don’t think it was because it was a sweatshirt. I think it was because it was Reed’s. In inhaled its scent, and hugged the sleeves close to me. It was as close to an embrace as I may ever have with him again.
I was so lost in my own fantasy that Sean startled me when he sat back down next to me.
“It’s because of him, isn’t it,” he said, matter-of-fact.
“What?” I pretended, knowing exactly what he meant and dreading the direction this conversation was about to go.
“Reed. You can’t take your eyes off of him,” he stopped, then chuckled a little to himself, but in a sad way. “It’s funny. Now that I think about it, you really never could, could you?” He tilted his head towards me, waiting for a response.
I sat there dumbfounded. He knew everything, without me having to say a word. I blinked, feeling like I should fight away tears. But nothing was there. I couldn’t cry over this because I didn’t really have intimate feelings for Sean. I cared for him deeply, but as a friend.
He looked down for a while and then finally broke the silence. “It’s ok. I mean… I’m not going to lie, it f**kin’ hurts. I REALLLLY liked you, Noles. But I’m not mad. Just, maybe give it some time? I’m just not ready to see you flirting with him yet, is that ok?”
I leapt into his arms and hugged him tighter than I ever had. My eyes were welling up now. Sean was so good to me, and I didn’t deserve it. But what stung even worse was the fact that he thought he would have to see me and Reed together when I knew that was impossible.
“You are too good for me, Sean Foster. I mean it,” I said, pulling out of our embrace.
“I know,” he laughed out, his voice cracking a little as he stood up and turned away from me. “I’m going to head over to the guys for a bit. I just need a break from… from this talk.”
“I’m sorry Sean. I didn’t want it to go this way,” I said, hoping he would forgive me for hurting him. “You really are amazing.”