Looking up right away, I’m not sure if my face wore surprise or worry. “Thanks,” I said, just watching him disappear through the snack bar behind me. As I turned to sneak another glance at Reed, I know my face turned to sickness. He was staring at me, his glasses off now. His smile was nowhere to be found. What replaced it was a heavy brow and a look that had my heart racing for fear that he was going to shout obscenities at me from across the pool.
Why did I let myself worry over what Reed saw? I knew it didn’t mean anything and he gave up all rights to being upset over me and whomever I decided to be friends with the second he called me a whore during his drunken stupor.
I was deep in thought over this when I realized he was walking straight towards me. I was trapped, leaving now would be obvious and cowardly. I dug my heels in and readied myself for a fight.
“You and Tyler seem to be getting along well,” he said, short and cold.
I just stared at him through my glasses, keeping them on in case my eyes gave me away. I wanted to show a strong front. “He’s a good friend. He was there for me when someone destroyed my character in front of everyone I know,” I said, turning my head to look back out over the water. I could feel him staring at me, but I wasn’t going to crack. It was killing me.
“Nolan, I don’t remember any of that. Sean told me what I said, and I’m sorry. You know I didn’t mean it…I was pretty f**ked up…and after what Tatum had told me you have to understand that my head wasn’t on right. I’m just finally crawling out of the dark place she put me in,” he said, his tone not really regretful but almost defensive. This just made me angrier. I realize what Tatum had done was very much about him, but what he didn’t seem to understand was it had ruined me, and I was an innocent casualty of it all. And the worst pain was inflicted by him.
Knowing I would regret not showing him the stuff I was holding onto deep down inside, I sucked in deeply and stood to square myself with him. Pulling my glasses off, I made sure to get close enough to make him uncomfortable. “Reed, I’m only going to do this once, so you better listen. I don’t know how you’ve never taken the briefest of moments to ruminate on how this last month played out for me, but let me get you up to speed.
“That night that I drove to your house, I was dreaming, Reed. Dreaming about how I might actually get to be with this stupid f**king boy who had my head all twisted and my heart wrapped around his finger. This boy that I loved secretly for two years, all the while watching him kiss and sleep with this demented bitch who bullied me in the most horrible ways. Horrible, Reed. She was horrible to me!
“And then my world slid off balance the second I saw you holding her again, your lips grazing her face to comfort her. And while you think you fought for me, Reed, you really didn’t. You just let me go. And I cried. For days.”
He was expressionless staring at me. He was also speechless. And I was shaking from this truth that I’d held so close to my vest. But getting it out felt so liberating, I had to keep going.
“And let’s talk about what I think about drunk Reed, huh? Shall we?” I poked a finger in his chest a little, mimicking his drunken gesture. “Boy, Reed. He’s an ass**le! Like, a major ass**le. I know Sean told you that you said some horrible things to me, but did he really give you the play-by-play?” He stilled, his shoulders tensing a little. He was uncomfortable in his skin, and I knew he didn’t know the exact words he had uttered.
“You asked me if I was f**king Tyler now. You know, after f**king Sean.” He sucked in a deep breath, his eyebrows raising a little, taking in his own words. “And then you wondered how I could have skipped over f**king you.”
Gathering more strength, I stepped into him even closer. “Really? Now, hearing that, is it so hard to wonder?” I held his gaze for a long time. His eyes revealed his shame. I had shamed him, and for once it felt amazing. Not wanting to hear any more excuses or half-ass apologies, I flipped my glasses back on and walked past him over to the front deck to line up for station assignments.
Todd still managed to keep us fairly far apart for the rest of the afternoon. I looked over to see Reed looking at me from time to time, but gone was his cocky smile and angry, jealous glare. He looked like a puppy caught peeing on the rug, and while I was sure I would feel bad about it eventually, for the time being I was still reveling in the superiority.
He was taking one of his breaks with one of the other girls on staff, and though I tried to ignore it, I still snuck in glances to watch over her fruitless efforts to flirt with Reed. This morning, he might have indulged her and made a show of it in front of me. But now? Today I stripped him a bit of his confidence.