Elv told Michael that if he didn’t shut up, she wouldn’t do his schoolwork anymore. Her ex-friend was clearly an idiot. Their relationship dissolved then and there. He was nothing like his brother. He couldn’t even pass simple geometry without her help. And her help was something he had only as long as Lorry was kept on his visitors’ list.
A FEW WEEKS later, Elv thought she might be pregnant. She was panicky, scared to tell Lorry, but when at last she did, he surprised her. He said they would deal with whatever happened. They’d raise the baby just fine, the two of them. They’d do a hell of a lot better than their parents had.
“We’re together,” he said. “I told you that. I won’t walk away.”
When Elv got her period a few days later, she was overwhelmed by sadness. She locked herself in the stable and cried while the horses watched her. She wished she was a normal girl who lived in a house and could call the man she loved and talk to him, listening to his voice all night long. She was besotted. She wrote his name on pieces of paper the way she had once mapped out the lanes and alleyways of Arnelle. She didn’t think beyond the next visiting day. And then the worst thing happened, something so terrible she hadn’t even imagined it. Michael was being released. He had turned eighteen and had finished out the school term with A’s and B’s thanks to Elv. He was actually graduating.
She went to the graduation—ten lackluster students and a few family members who didn’t know whether to be worried or relieved. She sat in the last row. Lorry came in and took the seat beside her. They held hands under the chairs so no one would see. Elv cried all the way through the ceremony. Lorry leaned close. “This is temporary,” he told her. “It has nothing to do with our real lives.”
They quickly planned a meeting at the end of the week. After the ceremony, once Michael had packed up and left, Elv stood out in the empty parking lot. Miss Hagen came to comfort her, just as Elv had hoped. Miss Hagen knew Elv and Michael had been close. It was difficult when friends moved on, but Elv had made such progress. If she stuck with it, it would be her own graduation before long.
There were June bugs floating through the heavy air. Elv didn’t have to fake blinking back tears. She thanked Miss Hagen for all she had done. For changing her life. But today had been so sad, perhaps if she could have an afternoon off. If she could walk through town, sit in a restaurant, make a phone call, she might be strong enough to carry on.
The pass came through the very next day.
ELV HAD NO interest in the small New Hampshire village, where there was only a pizza place, a Laundromat, and a grocery that was closed half the time. That wasn’t why she hadn’t slept all night. She went to feed the horses earlier than usual, when the sky was pitch-black, then came back to sit on the edge of her bed. She waited, dressed up in a skirt and a blouse that the school had approved for an “out” day. She was allowed to leave the grounds at ten and had to be back at three. She wasn’t thinking about coming back. She was only thinking about how long it would be before she was with him.
It usually took half an hour to walk along the road to town, but Elv ran. Lorry was waiting in the parking lot behind the Laundromat, just the way they’d planned. They drove off and found an old logging road that led into the woods. They could be as reckless as they wanted. They could do as they pleased. They made love in the car, quickly, desperate for each other. Lorry pulled Elv into his lap and told her that this was their real life. This was what they’d been waiting for. When they got out of the car, they went exploring. They found a pond and took off their clothes and dove in heedlessly. Frogs plashed out of their way. The cold water shocked them and made them cling to each other. The sunlight was thin and pale, but when they came out into the chilly air, Elv stayed undressed. She unfolded herself onto an old blanket Lorry had put down for her. There were black-eyed Susans and thistle and dozens of small butterflies skittering over the blooms. Elv braided her hair and pinned it up. If Arnelle really had existed, it would have had this same tawny landscape of pine and oak and birch, the same banks of ferns speckled with sunlight.
Lorry pulled on his clothes and went to retrieve something from the car. He was singing to himself. Elv thought, This is what happiness is. He’d brought along ink and needles to mark this day. He’d brought the witch as well. “My fatal flaw,” he remarked as he knelt down beside her. When Elv wanted to shoot it, Lorry was reluctant, but she teased and coaxed and at last he agreed. He did it for her, tying his belt around her arm, telling her to close her eyes, mixing it up over his lighter until it was melted and liquid. She drifted into this delicious thing she now understood to be happiness. She wanted a tattoo, so he told her to lie down and turn over. She pried herself out of her dreams and did as he said. She didn’t even feel the needle. She was floating and it was perfect and when Lorry leaned in to ask if he was hurting her, she answered no, not at all. How green the light was. How quickly the dragonflies darted along the surface of the pond. When Lorry was done with the tattoo, Elv went to the car and glanced in the sideview mirror. There was a small black rose at the base of her neck.
She didn’t want to go back. She gave him every reason she could think of to take her with him, but in the end she understood why he said he couldn’t. She wasn’t eighteen. If caught, she’d be sent back to Westfield, but Lorry would go to jail. She got dressed and unplaited her hair. It was late. That meant trouble.
“They’re going to do something terrible to me,” Elv worried.