I roll onto back, chastising myself. You are overanalyzing, Hayley, I tell myself sternly. I am already worried about what will happen when Cameron leaves me when we’ve only been together for a few days. But he doesn’t know everything, I remind myself. Guilt buries itself in my subconscious and starts to grow, slow like a weed yet invasive like a parasite. There are things about my past that Cameron doesn’t know, that he can’t know, and the closer we become, the more intimate we become, the harder it is for me to keep it from him. But keeping it from him isn’t about him, not really. It’s about Arianna, and protecting her from my past.
I doze off for what feels like an hour when my phone vibrates next to my bed. My bedside clock reads two a.m. and I wonder who would be texting me so late, or early, depending on which way you look at it. I can’t help the sleepy grin that slides onto my face when I see its Cameron.
I’m outside.
I throw my duvet off, not bothering about my robe, and race downstairs, careful not to wake my grandmother or Ari. I open the front door, regretting my decision to go sans my robe as soon as the cool breeze hits my exposed legs and arms. Cameron comes in quickly and I shut the door again.
“What are you doing here?” I ask in a hushed voice.
He smirks and I catch a glimpse of his face in the moonlight. It bounces off his face brilliantly and casts an alluring shadow across his shape features. Taking a step closer, he touches a hand to my cheek and I shiver, both from the contact and his cold skin.
“I wanted to see you,” he whispers, leaning his head closer.
“C’mon,” I say, grabbing his hand before he can kiss me. “It’s cold down here and I’m sure you’re freezing.”
We walk up the stairs, a little slower as to keep Cameron’s feet from making a noise, and I lead him to my room. I close the door behind us quietly and turn to Cameron as he starts shedding his clothes. I wrap my arms around him from behind, getting lost in his scent. “How’s Candice?” I ask.
Cameron twists in my arms and I look up into the gray pools of his eyes. “She’s doing great.” He kisses the side of my mouth and I suck in a breath.
“And the baby?”
He gives me a heart-shattering smile. “She’s perfect.” His eyes gleam, showing me the love and adoration he has for his family and its newest little member. “She has these big, blue eyes, and these perfect little lips, and hair like Candice’s.”
I can’t help but return his smile. “I can’t wait to meet her.”
“I’ll take you to the hospital tomorrow.” Cameron kisses me, signaling that our conversation is over and I don’t complain. I help him undress until he’s wearing nothing but his boxer briefs, and we climb into bed. What starts off as light pecks on the mouth soon becomes heated, hungry and almost desperate. Cameron rolls until I’m beneath him and settles between my legs. He rests his weight on his forearms on each side of my head and threads his fingers through my hair while I trace invisible patterns up and down his back. He pushes his hips into me and I feel his erection on my inner thigh, hot and hard. I moan into his mouth, savoring the taste of him, the feel of him. I want him, there’s no doubt he can feel my wetness through the thin material of my pajama bottoms, but knowing my grandmother and daughter are on either sides of my bedroom somehow makes this feel a little less appealing. Cameron’s hips roll a third time and I bite his lip to silence my whimper. The things he is doing to my body right now doesn’t need to be made audible for the whole house to hear. I pull away, panting and wanting. “Cameron,” I breathe. “We have to stop.”
He lifts his head, peering down at me with lust-filled eyes that I’m sure match mine. “You’re worried about being heard?”
I nod, wondering how he was able to voice my internal concern when I didn’t say anything. “I’m not comfortable with Gama and Ari being so close. It’s a little weird. Please, don’t be mad.”
He frowns and it quickly becomes a smirk. “Why would I be mad? I can’t help that I’m good at making you scream.”
I slap his back gently and he shrugs, chuckling. “What? It’s true.”
“But I understand,” he adds, leaning down and trailing his lips down my neck. “You’ll just have to make it up to me another time.”
“I think we can arrange that.” I give him one last kiss before he rolls onto his side and tucks me into his chest. I sigh, feeling flustered and turned on, but so very content. My earlier worries disappear, but I know they’re never far, hiding in the little boxes stashed away in the corners of my mind. I will deal with them when I have to, and until then, I’m going to enjoy every moment just like this one.
** ** ** ** **
Cameron stirs next to me, his eyes opening slowly. I’ve been lying here for almost an hour, just watching him sleep. After I fed Ari and left her to watch her cartoons under the watchful eye of my grandmother, I climbed back under the covers and lay awake while Cameron slept.
“Hey you,” he says, his voice hoarse from sleep. His arms tighten and I snuggle deeper into him.
“G’morning,” I reply with a yawn.
“How long have you been up?”
“Just over an hour. I got up to feed Ari.”
“And where is the little Princess now?”
I look at him quizzically. “Downstairs. Why?”
“I was wondering if it would be okay to ask you to join me in the shower.” His cheeks darken, not much, but I can see the red tinge. Is he blushing?
“I think something can be arranged.”
He grins and starts pulling my pajamas off. Before he gets to my panties, I slide out of bed and saunter over to my bathroom, deliberately shaking my hips as I go. I hear him mutter tease under his breath and then he’s behind me, grabbing my hips, sliding his hands up to cup my breast. He doesn’t let go until we’re standing under the hot spray of the showerhead and I turn to face him. We start washing each other, exchanging sensual touches, alluring glances while we rinse the soapy suds from our bodies. My body responds to every caress, my flesh breaking out in goose flesh every time his hands and fingers tease me. His hands rest on my hips and he pushes me up against the wall, shielding me from the spray. I pull him into me and crash my mouth into his. I want him so badly that I ache. I dip my tongue into his mouth, licking slowly, caressing his tongue until we both moan into each other. His lips part from mine and I open my eyes to see him staring at me, a fusion of ardor and something else I can’t quite place colliding violently in his eyes. “You are so beautiful,” he says. His words come quietly, mixed with the steam and the heady atmosphere that swirls around us. Droplets of water slide down his face and I lean in to catch them just as they reach his lips.
“Touch me,” I whisper against his lips, needy for the contact.
Without saying another word, Cameron's hand slips down my thigh and between my legs, nudging me to part for him. His fingers find the nub of hypersensitive nerves between my slick folds and start rubbing in circles, adding more and more pressure. My hips start moving, increasing in pace when he slips not one, but two fingers inside me. Gripping his shoulders for support, I press my head against the wall and feel him suck my nipple into his mouth.