“You have nothing to worry about,” she said quietly, stilling my inner turmoil. “Reid loves you.”
Grady motioned for us to scoot over, and then squeezed himself next to me, and both him and Kennedy had their arms around my shoulders.
“Is he still not banging you?”
I stared at Grady, and his complete inability to filter his words. When I saw how serious he was I burst out laughing, and didn’t stop until I had tears running down my cheeks. When I’d calmed down, they were both looking at me as if I’d lost my mind. Maybe I had, but for once I was able to laugh through my worry.
“She’s completely lost it,” Kennedy said over my head.
“Or maybe she just realized the insanity of whatever scenario she’d conjured up in her head,” replied Grady.
“She can hear you,” I told them.
“Good,” retorted Grady. “Because I know for a fact your man won’t go near that Hobbit again, and I have it on good authority that he never even had sex with her while they were dating.”
My head shot up. “What?”
He nodded his head triumphantly. “He didn’t touch her, Jade. Not once.”
My whole body sagged, but I couldn’t understand why that knowledge made me feel so relieved.
“You see?” Kennedy touched my arm. “You’re feeling insecure for no reason, Jade. I’m sure Reid is just taking his time, and making sure he does things right this time around.”
Well,” snorted Grady, “Either that or he’s worried about poking your baby in the face with his dick.”
“Oh my God,” I laughed, covering my face with my hands. “You are so not allowed near my child with that foul mouth.”
“Please,” – Grady threw his head back dramatically – “That kid is going to walk out of that cooch spitting fire like her mamma, and that’s all on you. Pretty sure she’s going to be able to teach me a thing or two.”
Kennedy laughed beside me. “Your baby is going to be born into a colorful family, that’s for sure.”
I didn’t doubt it. I was so grateful for my friends, and more so because they put up with me and my hormones. They also told me when I was being ludicrous, and managed to erase my silly insecurities.
But deep down, Reid was the only one I wanted confirmation from.
GRADY AND KENNEDY ONLY left after I’d assured them I was fine. They somehow got my mind off Stella and her relationship with Reid, and by the time I was feeling marginally like myself again I was also starving. Grady had a date – my eyes nearly bugged out when he told us – and Kennedy went next door to wait for Dane. I hadn’t heard anything from Reid all afternoon, and rather than lament on how that bothered me, I started making dinner. I stripped down, and put my cotton sleep shorts on with one of Reid’s long sleeved Henley’s and my grey knitted Uggs before heading back into the kitchen.
I flicked the stereo on, and started dancing around when Taylor Swift’s ‘Blank Space’ played through the speakers. I gathered everything I would need to make some ravioli with a béchamel sauce, and began preparing one of my favorite dishes.
I was removing the pasta pockets from the stove when I felt two hands circling my waist. When I looked over my shoulder a grin, and two bright green eyes greeted me.
“Hi.” I smiled, and felt my cheeks warm. I was sure I looked ridiculous, dancing around the kitchen like no one was watching, but Reid seemed to have enjoyed the show.
“Hi.” He lowered his head, and kissed me, and with that single touch, hopefulness blossomed inside me.
“I missed you,” I said against his lips, feeling my blood warm with want. It had me craving the feel of him, and after today’s admission I wanted him to prove me wrong, prove to me that he still wanted me that way.
“I missed you too. Did you have a good day at the spa?”
“I did. Thank you for spoiling me.”
“It’s only the beginning.” He gave me one last peck, and then pulled away while I finished up with the sauce.
“Smells good,” he remarked. I heard him unzip his jacket, and when I turned to face him, his attention was already elsewhere.
Disappointment coiled in my chest, and I watched with longing as he switched the television on and flicked to a sports channel. Why had I expected something different? He’d made it obvious over the last few weeks that having sex was not on the agenda, and under normal circumstances I would have blown it off, but I was feeling emotional, and vulnerable. His continued rebuff had started wounding my confidence, and I didn’t like it.
I plated our food, and sat down on the sofa as we started eating in silence. The longer it continued, the more irritable I became, and eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore. I slammed my plate on the coffee table, and stormed off to my room where I started picking up the clothes lying around just for something to do.
“Asshole,” I mumbled under my breath, snatching up random items of clothing.
I felt Reid’s presence when he walked in, but I didn’t acknowledge him. Maybe if I ignored him long enough he would start to feel the way I was.
“What was that about?” He asked. He sounded confused, and if I had to spell it out for him then perhaps he wasn’t as attuned to my feelings as I’d thought.
“Nothing,” I snapped, “It was absolutely fucking nothing.”
“Did I do something to piss you off? Because you looked pretty happy to see me when I came home.”
I huffed out a laugh. “I was happy to see you, until you...you...” I was so agitated I couldn’t finish my sentence. Was I even sure about what he’d done wrong?
If I thought about it, he hadn’t done anything, but it was the buildup of brush-off after brush-off that had been percolating, and tonight was the final straw. Between worrying about why he wouldn’t have sex with me, and thinking about Stella, I felt discombobulated. Confused. All over the fucking place.
“Until I what, Jade? Why are you so upset?”
I threw our clothes across the room, and he had to sidestep before I hit him with them. I didn’t feel like treading lightly for his benefit anymore, no matter how crazy I was about to sound.
“I am upset because you won’t have sex with me!” I yelled, throwing my arms out. “I’m upset because you touch me, and kiss me, and then when I want to take it further, you oh-so-politely reject me. And I’m fucking upset because I actually don’t know what the fuck I’m feeling.”
He stared at me like I’d lost my mind, and I was starting to think I had.
“You love me, but I want to feel like you want me,” I added, but the more I spoke the more foolish I sounded. Even I could admit that my behavior was not only absurd, but also right out of left field. One minute I was calm, and happy, and the next I was yelling at Reid for something asinine like his lack of desire to screw me.
But was it really asinine? Was I wrong for wanting to feel desired?
Reid’s expression remained stoic, but his eyes flashed with something unnamable and his nostrils flared.
He was angry? Why was he angry when I was the one having a damn –
All thought stopped when he crossed the room in three strides, and crashed his mouth to mine. He wrapped his hand around my neck, and pulled. Hard. I gasped at the force of it, and braced my hands on his stomach.