It made me sick to think of Dane as my dirty little secret because I wasn’t ashamed of our…what did I even call it? Affair? Relationship?
It didn’t matter now, I guessed. I had to move on.
“Chase told me Grady is awake,” remarked Jade, interrupting my inner battle. Talking about Grady, and Chase was a safer topic, so I welcomed it.
“Yeah, I saw him the day I hurt my ankle. We should go see him, he’ll want to know how your trip went.”
She sighed, and took a seat at the breakfast counter. It was only twenty-four hours ago that Dane had taken me on that very spot and the fresh recollection sent a stab of pain straight to my chest. Our apartment was now filled with memories of us, and I had to figure out how I was supposed to keep living here without thinking about him constantly. Maybe after some time it wouldn’t be so difficult, and I could think about it with fondness rather than longing to have it again.
“I don’t think I want to talk about it,” said Jade. “But I could definitely do with a good dose of laughter, and gossip.”
“That makes two of us,” I replied. “I’ll send him a text, and let him know we’re coming.”
Jade smiled, but it was as fragile as mine had been, and I couldn’t help but wonder if there was more to her trip than her grandmother’s funeral. She hadn’t mentioned Reid yet, and that was unlike her. Whatever it was, I couldn’t expect her to open up to me if I wasn’t prepared to do the same.
“We need to get out of here for the day,” I suggested. “I need to go shopping for a new winter wardrobe.”
Jade perked up at the idea. “Yes!” Her response was a little too enthusiastic, and hinted that she might have been just as desperate for an escape as I was. “I haven’t been shopping in forever. We’ll stop by to see Grady, and then head into Brighton for the day.”
“Perfect,” I replied, finishing my breakfast.
We got dressed, and after I’d let Grady know we were coming, Jade and I climbed into her Audi and hit the road. Just leaving the university campus made me breathe a little easier.
Grady was propped up in his hospital bed when we arrived. He was mercilessly flirting with one of the male nurses who blushed furiously, and smiled shyly after we’d interrupted them.
“I’ll check on you a little later,” he told Grady.
We grinned – and it wasn’t forced this time – and rushed to Grady’s bedside so we could hound him for details.
“Now is that any way to greet your injured friend?” He chided, looking between Jade and me. “Lay some sugar on me you sexy bitches, I’ve missed your crazy asses.”
His face was already looking better, his bruises starting to turn yellow, and seeing him in high spirits was like a balm to my shattered heart. It was exactly what I needed, and I sensed what Jade needed too.
“Okay, Miss Barcelona, you first. I want all the dirty deets because I just know you have some.” Grady wiggled his eyebrows, and Jade looked away. Her reaction was a little confounding, and she looked…uncomfortable.
“I’m going to grab some crappy cafeteria coffee, and let you two catch up, okay?” I smiled at Grady, and he simply nodded his head. I was glad if Jade could confide in him. I wasn’t sure I’d be of much help given my own circumstances, and I trusted that Grady would be able to give Jade some sound advice, or be a good listener at least.
I sat down at a small cafeteria table after buying a latte – which wasn’t nearly as disgusting as I’d expected it to be – and stared out the window overlooking the expansive hospital grounds. It was another beautiful day outside, unseasonably warm, and sunny, just like it had been yesterday.
As hard as I tried not to dwell on it, my mind kept flashing back to my day at the lake, determined to keep all of it on a constant replay. Why was it that when we tried to forget something or someone, our minds were hell bent on making us remember? It was like I had no control over my own thoughts, and it was doing little to help me sort myself out.
The chair opposite me scraped along the floor, and I looked up just as Chase took a seat. I hadn’t seen or heard from him since the night Grady was brought in, and even when Grady had woken up Chase had called Dane, if only by default. He’d made no other attempt to speak to me, and I wasn’t sure if I’d done something wrong, or if it had something to do with Dane.
“Hey stranger,” I greeted.
“Hey yourself,” he replied, leaning back and placing his hands behind his head. His blond hair was cut a little shorter, and he was dressed in a pair of khaki shorts, and a green polo. Maybe pre-Dane I would have been attracted to him.
“Did you have a good Thanksgiving?” I asked awkwardly, fiddling with a packet of sugar. I realized belatedly that it was the wrong question. Chase was going to ask to ask me about my Thanksgiving, and I was going to have to lie to someone else I had come to really care about.
“It was good,” he replied. “They allowed us to eat in Grady’s room, so we could all be together.”
“He must’ve enjoyed that,” I laughed half-heartedly.
“He did.”
Chase watched me closely, his eyes probing. It made me shift in my seat because he was acting strangely, and I wasn’t used to such coldness from him.
“Did I do something wrong?” I blurted out, buckling under his scrutiny. If he was angry with me then he should have just come out and said it, been an adult about it rather than ignore me like a prepubescent teenage boy.
“I don’t know,” he replied. “You tell me.”
“Listen, Chase, I don’t know what your problem is, but if you have one, just say it. I don’t have time to try and read your mind.”
“The last time you were here, you walked in on me and Dane having a…disagreement. I was hoping the crap he insinuated wasn’t true, but I’m starting to think I was wrong.”
I frowned as a sense of unease seeped into my skin. “What insinuations?”
He chuckled, but it was a dark, and hollow sound. “I had a feeling that you were going to try and play dumb.”
I bristled at that. “Oh for goodness sake, Chase. If you have something to say stop being a coward about it and spit it the fuck out.”
He leaned forward, and rested his arms across the table. “Did you fuck him?”
My head snapped back at his harsh tone, and I scowled. “What business is it of yours?”
“Answer the damn question, Kennedy,” he snapped. I stared into his green eyes, and wondered where the hell my friend was, because the guy in front of me was a complete stranger.
“No,” I spat back. “I will not answer the question, Chase. It’s none of your business. Why are you acting this way?”
“Because if it’s true, I want to congratulate him for beating me to it.”
My jaw dropped, and I felt like the wind had been knocked out of my lungs. I had never seen Chase behave this way, not even towards a girl, and I had no clue what was going on with him. All I knew is that his words hurt, and without knowing it he’d managed to make me feel like Dane had used me, like I was a cheap whore who spread her legs the minute someone like Dane had asked her to. He didn’t understand, and he never would. No one would.