“Glad to hear it,” the Doctor muttered, uninterested in my reason for ‘coming back’. Douche. “I’m Dr. James, and I’ve been monitoring your progress since your accident. Do you think you can tell me what happened? I’d like to see if your memory is impaired in anyway.”
I cleared my throat, and told him what had happened up to where I could remember. He seemed pleased, and started making notes on his clipboard.
“You are very lucky, Miss. Monroe,” – no shit, really? – “You were resuscitated twice after sustaining a head injury, and being left in the water for three hours before you were found. You obviously have some Guardian Angels looking out for you.” - He had no idea - “You should be cleared for discharge tomorrow. Do you have family we can call?”
I opened my mouth, but Dane cut in before I could speak. “Her grandparents couldn’t travel, but her friends are here. We’ll take her home tomorrow.”
“Very good.”
Dr. James left the room, and I sagged back into my bed. Dane stood from his chair, and nervously rubbed his hands down his jeans. He looked tired, and in desperate need of a shower. Had he been here the whole time?
I wasn’t sure how the answer to that would have made me feel but I still needed to talk to him. I felt indebted to him for saving my life.
“I’m going to get Jade,” he said, starting for the door. “She’ll want to see you.”
“Dane, wait.”
He turned towards me with reluctance, as if he was afraid of what I might say.
“We need to talk.”
He stood there for a whole minute – yes, I counted – and then took me by surprise when he leaned over the bed at my side. His hands held my face, and he fixed me with eyes so full of sorrow I could taste it, feel it blanketing me.
“You will never know how sorry I am.” His voice was low, nothing more than a gentle caress across my face. “For what I said to you the day we fought, for hurting you so badly you felt you needed to run, and for being the reason you nearly died.”
I tried to speak, to tell him to shut up and listen to me for once, but he pressed his thumbs to my mouth. “I will understand if you can’t forgive me right now, but I hope that someday you will because I…I…”
Say the words, I coaxed. Please.
Yes, he’d said some terrible hurtful things, and it would take me some time to get over them, but I still wanted him with me when I did.
It seemed he had other plans, because I felt like he was leaving me. Only this time, I wasn’t sure I wanted him to.
“I need some time to forgive myself for what I’ve put you through, because right now, I’m not good enough for you. Go back to Georgia, and when I’m ready, I’ll come to you, if you’re still waiting.”
He kissed me with wet, salty lips, and I wanted to yell at him, tell him he couldn’t do this, that we belonged together. But I understood so much more now, and I knew it wasn’t our time yet. He needed to heal, and forgive himself. I needed to heal, and forgive too. And if we were meant to be together at the end of it all, I had no doubt we would be.
His lips moved against mine as he whispered, “Goodbye, Kitten,” and unlike the last time, I didn’t feel like I was splitting in two.
Dane kissed me one more time, a sweet lingering peck, and then walked out. I found myself hoping he’d find his absolution, because I wanted to be here when he did.
EPILOGUE
Dane
One Month Later
EVERY DAY OF the last month had been leading up to this moment. I’d spent a week trying to convince myself I should just wait until Kennedy got back tomorrow, but a last minute shove out the door from Jade, meant the decision to come and get her was made for me.
And I couldn’t say it was the wrong decision.
I gripped my steering wheel, and took a deep breath before climbing out my truck. It was freezing outside, so I hugged my jacket closer as I walked towards the barn on Kennedy’s grandparents’ property in Madison, Georgia.
I’d called Beau two days ago to let him know I was coming, and he’d let me know they were having an engagement party for him and his fiancé Sarah. He was a pretty decent guy, and I could tell he really cared about Kennedy. To my surprise, he was on board with me showing up, and he didn’t even hesitate to include me in the night’s festivities. I just hoped he didn’t mind me stealing the limelight so that I could make an ass of myself in front of Kennedy’s family and their friends.
The last time I saw Kennedy I was walking away from her – again – but at the time it was the right thing to do. She woke up after her accident, and I expected her to yell at me, and tell me to leave, because I deserved that and so much more. Instead, she’d given me what I wanted, which was time to sort myself out, head and heart included.
I needed time to forgive myself for the mistakes I made, and for the unforgiveable things I'd said to her the night of her accident. I’d hit an all-time personal low, and because I was too stubborn, and selfish to see past my own hatred and grief, I blamed her. For everything.
I wouldn’t say I was good enough for her after this past month, but I knew I was ready to try, and I wanted her to see that. I didn’t deserve her forgiveness, but I’d spend the rest of my life making it up to her if it meant she was willing to take that chance on me. On us.
My mother and I had been spending a lot of time together lately, and she’d helped me put things into perspective. I expected her to be upset about my relationship with Kennedy, but instead she’d simply said, “I want you to be happy, the same way I knew Jewel was with Charlie.” I’d had no idea she knew about their relationship, or that she’d had no objection to them being together, and it made me realize just how easily I’d adopted my father’s beliefs about the Monroe family. It was one of many reasons why I’d cut all contact from him after Kennedy’s accident. I no longer wanted him to influence how I was allowed to feel about her.
Despite the frigid temperature, my hands were sweating, and my pulse raced wildly. I was so fucking nervous and scared and ready. There was a possibility Kennedy hadn’t waited for me, and that thought alone had me wanting to make a U-turn on the way here several times, but I believed she was worth the risk of coming here, and potentially humiliating myself. Either way, I was about to find out.
I pushed the barn door open and pretty much walked into a country music video. They had a live band on a makeshift stage at the far back, with round tables close to the door, decked out in checkered table cloths and bales of hay as chairs. They’d also made a small bar on the left, where mostly men had gathered to drink beer, and ‘shoot the shit’. Right in the center was the dance floor, and it seemed to be the hub for all the chaos going on around me.
A few people spared me a glance, but for the most part everyone else seemed too preoccupied to notice me. I was grateful for that, because these people were about to get really well acquainted with me in about ten minutes.
Beau spotted me from across the room, and moved through the small crowd until he was standing next to me.
“I was starting to think you weren’t gonna make it,” he said, reaching for my hand. I shook it, grateful that I had found an unlikely ally in him.
“I almost turned around a few times,” I replied honestly.