Jay raised an eyebrow. “And you don’t want to get married and make babies?”
“Certainly not with some boring rich guy who’s going to treat me like his property and parade me around like a trophy! One who won’t let me have a career or my own identity. I’ve seen how it works.”
“How so?”
“It happened to Veronica, my sister.” And Tara didn’t want to live the kind of life her sister lived. Pampered, yes. Wanting for nothing, sure. But she wasn’t herself anymore. She was a puppet.
“Tell me about her.”
She glanced at Jay and noticed genuine interest in his eyes. “She doesn’t have her own identity. She’s just some add-on to her husband. Everything is Adam-this, and Adam-that. As if she doesn’t have a single thought of her own in her head. I don’t want to be like that. I don’t want to lose myself.”
Jay smiled at her unexpectedly. “I don’t think you’re the type to lose yourself just because you’re in love with someone.”
“In love?” She huffed. “That’s not a prerequisite for marriage in the circles my parents frequent. They made that clear earlier tonight: they don’t care if I love the man I marry. As long as I marry somebody rich enough to suit them.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. But weren’t there plenty of handsome bachelors at the party who would meet your parents’ requirement? I believe the Gilberts’ son had a lot of his friends there, and they all seemed rich and handsome. Can’t be such a hardship.”
Tara rolled her eyes. “That’s the whole point! I don’t want somebody like that. Sure, they might be nice at the beginning. But in the end they’re all the same. They think because they have money, they’re entitled. And I’m not playing that game. I want to find a man who likes me for myself, not for who my parents are or how marrying me would benefit him. I don’t want some sort of trade. These guys play with other people’s feelings. I want something real.”
“And you think you can’t find something real with a rich guy?”
“It’s impossible! You never even get a chance to get to know a guy before parents on either side start interfering, putting pressure on you. What relationship can stand up to that, even if there is some spark?”
“So you figured you’d pick up a waiter at the party and tell your parents what you think of their plans for you.”
Tara cringed. “I’m so sorry.” She met his eyes.
“What was your plan? Just a one-night stand, and then tomorrow you’ll rub their noses in it and tell them how you screwed a part-time waiter? Or were you going to start a relationship with him and parade him around in front of them on a daily basis?”
She was surprised that she didn’t hear any menace in his voice. Most guys would be annoyed by now.
“I didn’t really plan things that far. I shouldn’t have dragged you into this. But I was so mad at them. I’ve had it with them, with their constant interference. It drives me so nuts that sometimes I don’t even know anymore what I want. I can’t hear myself think, because they’re always bombarding me with their opinions.” She sighed. “I’m so sorry. I probably had too much to drink, too.”
She had excuses en masse, but it didn’t change one thing: she was attracted to Jay, and his kisses had awakened something in her. But she couldn’t allow herself to act on her feelings now. She wasn’t thinking clearly, and Jay deserved better. He was a decent guy.
“I should probably leave now and face the music at home.” She made a motion to rise, but Jay anticipated her and bridged the distance between them, sitting down next to her and pulling her onto his lap.
“Don’t leave.” He brushed his hand through her still damp hair. “You can stay here tonight. I promise I won’t try anything, as much as I enjoyed going down on you.”
She felt herself blush and avoided his gaze. She’d never felt anything better than Jay’s mouth on her, his tongue licking her sex. “I bet you regret that now. Being used by me…”
His hand on her chin forced her to meet his eyes. “I don’t regret a single second. I loved touching you, kissing you, licking you. You’re the sweetest thing I’ve ever met. But what you need right now isn’t sex. You just need a friend who listens.”
Jay drew her closer, and she thought he was going to kiss her, but instead, he brought her head to rest on his shoulder and rubbed her back as if comforting a child.