His blue eyes sought hers, looking at her with an intensity she’d never seen before.
“Because if I ever go back to drugs, no matter what kind of drug it is, I won’t make it this time. It’ll destroy me, but I won’t throw away the second life I’ve been given.”
His determined voice gave her pause. Was he really strong enough to resist the temptation?
“I’d rather forego the pleasure of feeding from you when making love to you than become an addict again.” He paused for a moment. “That is if you ever let me make love to you again.”
One single word escaped her lips. “Oh.” He wanted to make love to her again? She lowered her gaze.
“You don’t have to answer me now. I only ask that you don’t dismiss me outright because of what I just told you. But I thought you’d appreciate the truth.”
She raised her eyes to look at him, wanting to tell him that she wanted nothing more than joining her body with his when she noticed a red glow in his eyes. It was something she was more than familiar with. Her gaze instantly dropped to his hands gripping the steering wheel. Claws started pushing through his fingertips.
She felt fear clamp down on her, tightening her throat and preventing her from speaking. She could only stare at him.
“I’m sorry, Ursula. I’m very hungry. But I won’t attack you. I promise.” He swallowed hard and when he opened his mouth again, she saw his fangs protruding.
A breath escaped her chest.
“We’re almost home. I’ll let you out at the curb. You’ll have to go inside. Blake will be there. He’ll protect you. Promise me you’ll go right to him. Tell him however much or little you need to, but don’t leave his side.”
Oliver’s voice sounded different now, strained as if he had trouble pronouncing the words.
She nodded automatically.
“I’ll wait until you’re inside. Please don’t run away. If you do, my instinct will kick in and I’ll chase you. And God help us then.”
“I promise,” she choked out. Anything so that he wouldn’t bite her.
For the next few blocks, she watched his every move. Her own palms were sweaty, and her heart beat double as fast as usual. She knew he could hear it and smell her sweat if the clenching of his jaw and his white knuckles were any indication.
It seemed to take ages until Oliver pulled to a stop in front of his house.
“Go!”
Without looking back, she opened the car door and jumped out, slamming it behind her. Forcing herself to walk normally, she made it up the few steps to the entrance door, then rang the door bell several times in quick succession. As she waited impatiently, she looked over her shoulder. Oliver was still sitting in the van, the engine running.
Her heart nearly stopped when the entrance door to the house was ripped open from the inside.
“Ursula?”
“Let me in! Shut the door!” she demanded and pushed past Blake into the house.
Only when she heard the door being closed and bolted behind her did she breathe a sigh of relief.
“What happened?” Blake took her arm and turned her to face him.
“Oliver is hungry.”
Fury spread in his face. “Fuck! Did he hurt you?” His eyes searched her neck. “Did he bite you?”
She quickly shook her head. “No.”
But for some inexplicable reason she suddenly wondered what it would be like to feel his fangs in her neck while he was making love to her. A thought came and went: her captors had denied her and the other women sex, because they believed it would weaken the potency of their blood. She couldn’t be sure of this being true, but she had told Oliver about it. Would he remember this detail? And if he did, would he try to bite her if he believed that the drug in her blood was less potent once she’d had sex? But most of all: would she let him?
How screwed up was she to even imagine this? Had she not suffered enough at the hands of her captors?
Tears brimmed in her eyes, and with her next breath, a sob tore from her chest.
22
After stilling his hunger for blood in an alley near Civic Center, Oliver got back into the van and headed for the address on the driver’s license he’d found in the wallet. It was located in North Beach. As he drove, his thoughts went back to Ursula and her frightened look when she’d realized that he was in dire need of blood.
If he were honest with himself, he would admit that they had no future. Even if Ursula would allow him to bite her—which she clearly wouldn’t—he could never risk it. Her blood was a drug, and he was a recovering addict. It wasn’t any different from an alcoholic who would instantly fall back into his addictive behavior if he drank the tiniest drop of alcohol. Her blood would do the same to him. Not only would it destroy his own life by sending him into a tailspin, it would also end hers: knowing how addictive her blood would prove for him, he would eventually take too much and drain her. She would die in his arms.