Jack stood there staring at what was once his father. He didn’t speak or cry or even make a single sound. I gave him a few minutes of silence before I eventually squeezed his hand in a silent gesture to ask if he was okay. When he turned to look at me, his face was indifferent, and for a moment I thought he might be in shock. Then I watched as his face changed from stone to concern, when he took in my tears. A quiet sob escaped me when he took his thumb and gently wiped away my tears.
***
Jack was still quiet as the three of us made our way out the front door of the hospital. It felt odd to leave, knowing that we were leaving such a big part of Jack’s life inside that would forever be changed. Jack had called Mateo to pick us up and offered Betty a ride home, which she politely declined. We both hugged Betty goodbye and Jack walked her to her waiting cab. She stopped as she was about to get in and looked up at Jack. “I know it’s not my place, but you should know that your father loved you a great deal. He just didn’t know how to show it. I think Mrs. St. Claire was getting through to him and I know he was grateful to her for giving updates on how the two of you were doing.”
The old woman looked frail, the last twenty-four hours having taken its toll on her. She smiled at me and reached up and kissed Jack on the cheek. “I’m sorry for your loss, Jack. Call me later when you feel up to it and I will help you make arrangements.”
I watched Jack close the door to Betty’s car, stunned at what I had just heard. At first I wondered if I had even heard right, because Jack didn’t seem to react to what she had just said. But then I replayed her words over and over in my head and realized that there was no way to mistake what she had said — Jack’s father had been keeping in touch with my mother.
Jack didn’t say much on the way home, but he still gripped my hand tightly. I tossed around whether or not to bring up the bomb that Betty had just dropped, but the look on Jack’s face told me it wasn’t the right time to talk about it. Jack had been through enough the last day and he didn’t need me to open old wounds and stir up more hard feelings toward his father.
***
I was growing more concerned about Jack when he was still quiet at home. I made us breakfast since the two of us hadn’t really eaten much in the last twenty-four hours. Jack ate, but was still uncharacteristically quiet. Neither of us had slept in more than a day and I thought that perhaps a nap would make us both feel better. I knew we had to deal with funeral arrangements, but a few hours wouldn’t have made a difference.
I drew the blinds in the bedroom, blackening out the beautiful day outside. I crawled into bed and rested my head in the crook of Jack’s shoulder, where it fit like the spot was made for me. Jack wrapped his arms around me and let out a deep breath.
My voice was a gentle whisper. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you want to talk?”
Jack was quiet for a moment before he spoke, “Not now, I just want to hold you, Syd.”
“Okay.”
Jack tightened his hold on me, his arms wrapped firmly around my body. I couldn’t have gotten up if I tried — not that I wanted to be anywhere else. His grip didn’t even let up as I listened as his breathing slowed and he finally fell into sleep.
***
Later in the afternoon, I made funeral arrangements with Betty. Jack was there too, but he stayed quiet, deferring any decisions to Betty and I. I called my parents in the evening, but I didn’t have a chance to ask my mother about her talking to Jack’s dad because Jack was always right next to me.
Chapter 16
The first afternoon of the funeral was a blur of businessmen in suits and introductions to people whose names I would never remember. Jack didn’t let go of my hand the entire afternoon. I was happy that he could lean on me and that I was able to bring him whatever comfort I could give, but he was still keeping everything pent up and it concerned me.
The evening session was different than the afternoon, and seemed to have brought a younger crowd. Many of Jack’s friends came by, including Tyler and almost all of the guys I had met during the week we’d spent in Hawaii. Jack’s mood seemed to lighten by having them around and I was grateful that they could give him that distraction.
I was sitting with Jack, talking to Tyler in the front row, when I saw my parents and Sienna walk in out of the corner of my eye. I actually did a double take, thinking I was seeing things, because I’d had no idea that they were coming. Jack saw my face and followed my line of vision. He gave me a small smile.
Jack released my hand reluctantly. “Go ahead, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
I kissed his cheek and walked briskly to the door.
“I had no idea you were coming!” I hugged my parents and best friend.
“Of course we came, Syd.” My mom spoke first. “You both should be around family at a time like this.” Her words warmed my heart. She spoke about Jack as if he was already part of our family.
Sienna whispered in my ear. “I came for moral support, but if I happen to find a young, handsome, rich relative of Jack’s here that is anything like Jack, that would be a bonus.” Sienna winked at me. I knew she was teasing; she would have come if the only people at the funeral were nuns.
I felt Jack come up behind me a minute later. Even if his presence didn’t still give me goosebumps all over when he came near me, I knew him when he stood near me instantly. Since the day I’d met him, he had been standing in my personal space. Not near my space, in it. If any other person stood that close I would have hated it. In high school I’d had a friend who was a close talker and it drove me crazy; I’d constantly take a step back whenever he spoke to me. But Jack’s invasion of my space had always been a turn on for me. For some reason I didn’t find it rude or annoying. When he invaded my space it reminded me of a lion guarding his cub. It was possessive and sexy and just oh so Jack.
Jack extended his hand to my father, waking me from my momentary lapse of consciousness caused by Jack’s stance behind me. “Jack Heston, Mr. St. Claire. Nice to meet you.”
My father extended his hand. “Please call me Bill, son. I’m sorry this is how we finally got to meet.”
Jack nodded, accepting my father’s condolences. He leaned over and kissed my mother’s cheek. “Renee, thank you for coming.”
Sienna extended her condolences and I watched as the two of them spoke for a few minutes before Tyler walked over and greeted Sienna with a kiss on the cheek. Sienna and Tyler’s relationship was definitely interesting. They could spend days in a hotel room together acting out their every fantasy, yet in public they looked like nothing more than old friends. I had always envied Sienna’s ability to separate her relationships into different compartments and recognize them for what they were.
***
I almost didn’t recognize Jenna when she approached. Dressed in an appropriate black-fitted suit with her hair pulled back into a tight ponytail, it was the first time I’d seen her with so little skin exposed. She smiled at Jack adoringly as she approached, but I caught her real smile falter when she finally let her eyes wander from Jack long enough to realize I was standing next to him.
“Jack, honey, I’m so sorry about your father.” Jenna kissed his cheek and held onto his arms as she spoke.
Jack thanked Jenna using the generic chatter that I had heard him repeat a hundred times before that day. Knowing that his reaction to her condolences and touch gave him the same reaction as the dozens of men in suits I had met in the last day gave me a secret gratification. I noticed he quickly reclaimed my hand. And I caught Jenna’s eyes as she noticed too, which made it much easier to fake my smile as we greeted each other.
***
It was almost the end of a very long first day of services when I excused myself to go to the ladies room. We had been sitting in the front row while Jack was talking with the Vice President of the Heston Hotels, so it was a good opportunity for me to slip away. Jack stood as I stood, always the gentleman, and I kissed him on the cheek as I made my way toward the back door.
I saw my parents talking with Sienna and Tyler in the back and figured I might as well kill two birds at once.
“Mom, want to take a walk to the ladies room with me?”
“Sure, sweetheart.” I couldn’t help but notice my father immediately stood when my mother stood. I internally smiled, thinking for the first time that Jack had some of my father’s favorite qualities.
Luckily, the bathroom was empty, which gave me the perfect opportunity to get some much needed answers from my mother as to why she had been talking to Jack’s dad.
I watched my mother’s reaction through the mirror as I washed my hands. “Mom, why didn’t you tell me you were keeping in touch with Jack’s dad?”
The look on her face told me that she hadn’t been expecting my question. “He asked me not to.”
I looked up at my mother, catching her eye, my look telling her she clearly needed to elaborate.
“He told me what had happened … with him and Jack, and that Jack didn’t speak to him anymore.”
“He told you what happened?” I turned to face my mother. I was surprised, yet cautious, at what he may have told her. From what Jack had told me about his dad, he wasn’t one for admitting his faults and sharing the truth.
“He told me about what he did and how Jack had caught him while his mother was sick.” My mother’s voice was low as she spoke.
I looked at my mother, wide-eyed, surprised that Jack’s father had shared so much.
“He told me it wasn’t just the one time that made Jack cut his ties.”
“Did he tell you that his wife was dying when he was having affairs with prostitutes?”
“I knew she was dying. He didn’t share the prostitute part, but he admitted he was unfaithful.”
“So what did he want from you? Did he think you could be his deliverance from evil?” I asked the question with the attitude I suddenly felt. I was annoyed that my mother had spoken to him, knowing that Jack had good reason for cutting his ties. What was she thinking, exchanging personal information with a man who Jack clearly hadn’t wanted to share with?
“No, he just wanted to hear about his son.” My mother’s voice was subdued and I knew she felt guilty. I just wasn’t sure if she felt guilty for being caught or guilty for what she had done.
“So why call you?”
“He found out about you after your trip to Hawaii. Which, I might add, was sooner than I knew about you having met someone.” Only my mother could throw in a jab about me not telling her about a man I had met when she was in the midst of her own allocution.
I rolled my eyes and she continued. “He heard that his son was miserable when he got back from Hawaii, so he stepped in to bring you two back together.”
Jack’s dad had gotten us back together when he’d asked me to perform at the Heston annual meeting, where he knew Jack would be, but I had never known the reason why. “So he hired me to sing to get us back together?”
My mother took a deep breath. “Yes. He thought it was his fault that his son was afraid of commitment because of the poor example he had set, so he wanted to do anything he could to help.” My mother looked to me, as if it was my turn to speak. No way was I letting her get off that easy.
“Go on.” I could tell there was a lot more to her story that she hadn’t shared yet.
“He ran some sort of a background check on you and found out about your engagement to Michael. He initially wanted to know if things were really over between you and Michael — he was concerned for Jack.” My mother paused and let out a mired sigh. “I felt bad for him, Syd. He was so desperate to hear about his own son that he was reaching out to a total stranger. You may not understand it now, but parents screw up all the time. So do children for that matter. But a parent’s love is unconditional. We don’t stop wanting to help them and take care of them just because they’re mad at us.”
“So what did you tell him when he asked about Michael?”
“The truth. Well, not all the details, but I told him that Michael wanted you to be someone other than who you were to fit his lifestyle, that you weren’t ready to settle down until you went for your dream.” My mother paused and considered before speaking again. “I told him Michael was never the right man for you.”
The last of the puzzle pieces finally snapped into place. “So he made sure I got my dream, so I wouldn’t do the same thing to his son?”
My mother made a face. “I wouldn’t put it like that, Syd. He may have had a hand in you getting on the tour, but it was your talent that got you your dream. He wanted to see you both happy. Happy together.”
I had heard enough. The headache that had been threatening in the back of my head all day had suddenly found its way front and center. I rubbed my temples to find some relief, but it wasn’t the kind of ache that could be cured that easily. My mother reached out to hug me and I took a step back. Did she really think what she had done was okay? She had been going behind my back for months, speaking to Jack’s dad. I felt completely betrayed.
“Don’t,” I said as I put my hand up, warning my mother to keep her distance. My tone clearly left no room for discussion.
My mother looked at me, waiting for more.
“I need to be with Jack. I can’t deal with this now.”
My mother frowned, but nodded. Not that she had a choice.
***
Jack knew something was wrong the minute I returned to his side.
“What’s wrong?” He hadn’t even excused himself from the conversation he was in the midst of. He took one look at my face and I became his sole focus.