I don’t know how long I lay in bed thinking, but the sun was coming up before I shut my eyes. My head was spinning. How could Jack stand in the background of my life acting like my puppeteer when he knew very well that I left Michael because I wanted to be my own person? Why did he want me 3,000 miles away?
Chapter 4
Not surprisingly, the next morning I was exhausted when Sienna woke me up with the smell of coffee and a breakfast spread large enough for eight. One of the reasons that she had been my best friend all of these years is that she never gave up on me. She’d given me my space the night before when I feigned a headache, but was not going to allow me to put her off much longer, when she knew I needed to talk about what we had learned the night before.
By the time breakfast was over, Sienna had convinced me that however the opportunity may have been gotten, no one could succeed or fail for us. We should take it as a gift and show the world that we deserved the job we had been graciously given. I knew she was right, but it didn’t make the pain I felt from Jack’s betrayal hurt any less. I also knew what we were starting that day was no longer just about me, it was Sienna’s dream too, and had been unwaveringly since she had learned to talk. So, regardless of my hurt toward Jack, I was going to work as hard as I could with Sienna to make the tour a success.
***
The three tour busses were enormous. The living arrangements for the tour used to have Kyle and Justin sharing a bus with two of the band members from the group who were dropping out, but now that Sienna and I were joining, the arrangements had been reworked so there were now separate busses for the guys and for the girls. I had wondered if we would be sharing a bus with Kyle and Justin, and I was secretly relieved that we weren’t. Somewhere in the pit of my stomach I sensed that Justin still had some feelings for me, and it would have made me uncomfortable sleeping so close to him. But after what I had learned last night, I wondered if the separate bus situation had actually been arranged by Jack.
We loaded our luggage into our bus and Justin gave us a tour of all three. The first two held the talent, the last one held the equipment, and Justin told us that occasionally some people from the tour company or road crew would join. Justin asked us to ride along in their bus for the day so that we could finish up our playlist and talk about the next few shows.
The back of the bus was separated by a door and held four cubbies and a private bedroom. The cubbies were each separated by a curtain and had two bunk-beds. The back bedroom was small, but it held a queen size bed without any room for walking around it.
The front of the bus had seating arranged that made it feel like a small living room. On the right side a long leather couch faced a TV. On the left side were individual seats that could be swiveled and locked into place.
It was nearly noon by the time we were loaded and ready. I wasn’t surprised when my phone rang just as the bus started to roll out of the hotel parking lot. It was early evening back home, and Jack usually called me after work. I looked at the phone and saw Jack’s picture. I hesitated for a minute, then pushed the button to send the call to voicemail. When I looked up I found Justin watching me, a flirty cocky smile on his face.
***
By the time we arrived at our destination in Berlin, I had pushed the button to send Jack’s call to voicemail at least a half dozen times. I couldn’t explain why I was avoiding his calls, I just knew I wasn’t ready to talk to him yet. I wasn’t sure if I was afraid to find out that he wanted me somewhere else, or if I was more afraid that I had no intention of leaving him even if he was controlling my life. Whenever I thought about it, the one thing I couldn’t even let myself consider was letting him go. I was completely and utterly in love with the man and scared to death of what I would do to keep him.
Sienna and I were both up at the crack of dawn the next morning, even though we had only fallen asleep a few hours earlier. There was an excitement in the air between us, knowing that we would be on stage in front of thousands of people for the first time in just a matter of hours.
The bus was parked at the stadium where we would perform later that evening, and we were told that there was a car available to shuttle us locally to anyplace we needed. Sienna and I decided to go out for breakfast; it was both of our favorite meal of the day. Many of our best memories came from breakfasts we’d had in diners while still being up from the night before.
In the car on the way to the diner, Sienna squeezed my hand as I looked around, seeing Berlin for the first time.
“He called me last night when you didn’t answer.”
“What?” I was confused at first. “Jack?”
“Yes, Jack, you birdbrain. Who else would I be talking to you about with kid gloves on?”
“Did you answer?”
“Yes.” My head snapped to Sienna, glaring at her like she had just committed the ultimate girl crime.
“Why would you do that?”
“Because someone needed to grow a pair.”
I just looked at her with my mouth hanging open, speechless for a full moment. “What did you tell him?”
“I told the truth — that you were upset because you found out that Heston was the tour sponsor,” Sienna said very matter-of-factly.
“And what did he say?”
“He sort of didn’t say anything. He kinda growled at me and then his exact words were, and I quote, ‘What. The. Fuck.’ She punctuated each word in the same way that I knew Jack would have, actually pausing between words to get his point across.
I couldn’t help but smirk at her imitation of Jack. But my reaction just goaded her on.
“Sydney. What. Would. You. Like. For. Breakfast,” she said in the same pattern that Jack would have said, What. The. Fuck. And her deep voice impression wasn’t that bad either.
We both laughed hysterically, the first real laugh I’d had in the last twenty-four hours, which may have been a record for time spent with Sienna without laughing soda through my nose.
Our eyes were still tearing from laughing so hard when Sienna could finally speak again. “Seriously, Syd, you know I was worried about you jumping into anything so soon after Michael, but that man f**king loves you. I know it in my bones. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt you intentionally. You need to talk to him.”
As usual, my best friend who had a losing track record for relationships with men, was spot on in giving me relationship advice. “Thanks, Sienna.” I squeezed her hand.
When we arrived at the diner, I asked Sienna to grab us a table and stayed outside a few minutes thinking of what to say before I called Jack. After I had composed my thoughts, I called, but it went right to voicemail. I decided not to leave him a message because my thoughts were too complicated to be expressed on a voicemail and I knew whatever I said would come out all wrong.
***
Throughout the day, I tried Jack’s phone a few more times, but each time the call went to voicemail. I was starting to get nervous that he was avoiding me after I had avoided him. I knew he wasn’t happy that I’d had Kyle and Justin in my room the other night and then I had avoided his calls, which likely only pissed him off even more. Although I was confused about some things between me and Jack at that moment, there were two things I was certain of. One, I loved that domineering man with all of my heart. And two, Jack was going to be wilder than a freaking tsunami when we finally did catch up to each other.
***
Even though I was anxious and edgy throughout the day, I was oddly calm when it was time for us to hit the stage for our first performance. Our act consisted only of our original songs, so the audience was hearing them for the first time, which made it difficult for them to really latch on to. Audiences tend to like shows where they can sing or hum along; it makes them feel like they are part of the show. But after our forty-five minute opening act, the audience was generous in their applause and we were excited to have played our biggest arena ever.
Sienna and I watched Double Strife from the side of the stage, dancing and singing along. The crowd loved them and it was incredible to hear so many people singing along with different accents. Their last song for the night, Gone, was the one we had all sang together at the bar a few nights earlier. As the song began, the crowd sang along to every word. The arena was electric and I was in awe just watching from the side of the stage. A few lines into the song, I saw Justin look over to where we were standing and stop playing.
“You know what would make this song a lot better, Kyle?” Justin asked playfully — the two brothers had a great on-stage dynamic.
“If you would let me sing it alone for a change?” Kyle quickly responded, quietly playing the guitar riff for the song still in the background.
Justin smiled at the crowd and shook his head, the screams of the girls ratcheted higher. “This guy’s lucky he is my blood or I’d kick his ass.” He laughed with the audience. “What this song needs is a sexy chick, bro.” Justin lifted his chin in the direction of where Sienna and I were standing, and Kyle looked over and smiled, picking up on what his brother was planning. Justin pointed to us and crooked his one finger, beckoning Sienna and I to the stage.
Sienna and I returned to the stage and the crowd roared in response to Justin saying that we needed some encouragement to join them for the final song. Justin silently motioned to Sienna to join Kyle at the microphone and crooked his little finger for me to move closer to him. The crowd went wild, watching it all play out on stage. The man oozed confidence on stage and his simple act of calling me over with just one finger came across as oddly sexual. When Justin had the crowd in exactly the frenzy that he wanted, the band started playing the song again from the top and the four of us sang our hearts out as if we had been doing it together that way forever.
After the show, the four of us were on an insane post-show high cocktail of happiness and adrenaline and were definitely not ready to call it a night. We snuck out to the closest bar and celebrated with a round of tequila shots. We were laughing and enjoying ourselves, about to do our second round of shots, when I felt a strong arm wrap around my waist. My whole body ignited and I didn’t have to turn to know who it was. Jack’s simple touch lit my entire body on fire.
I turned and looked up at him, his gorgeous green eyes staring back at me as if I were the only one in the room. For a split second I was nervous about his reaction to my having had men in my room, nervous about how he would explain why he didn’t tell me he was the sponsor. But then I saw how he felt about me in his eyes and I wrapped my arms around his neck tightly and pulled his mouth down to mine, devouring him in a kiss. A kiss that told him everything that I felt.
I don’t know how long it lasted, but it was definitely at least a few minutes before we broke, both coming up panting wildly for air and smiling. He leaned down so that his face was in my neck and lifted me up off the ground for a hug. His arms wrapped so tightly around me that it was difficult to breathe, but I didn’t care. The warmth of his breath so close to my ear coupled with the quiet sound of his uncontrolled growl sent a shiver from the tip of my toes straight through to the swell growing between my legs.
When he finally put me down, we found my three friends watching intently. For a few minutes I had completely forgotten there was anyone else in the room but us. I looked up, embarrassed, to find Sienna was smiling like an idiot. Kyle looked intrigued at my reaction, and Justin was glaring at us.
Kyle smiled kindly as he spoke. “I hope this is your boyfriend, Syd?”
“Sorry, yes, this is Jack. I had no idea he was coming.” I stared up at Jack, smiling excitedly. “I can’t believe you’re really here!”
Jack pulled me possessively to his side, his arm wrapped tightly around my waist as he spoke. He extended his free hand to Kyle. “Jack Cole.”
Kyle nodded and smiled back. “Kyle Smith. Good to meet you, man.”
Jack leaned down to Sienna and kissed her on the cheek, whispering something into her ear that made her smile and giggle.
Then he looked to Justin and extended his hand. Justin took a second too long before taking Jack’s hand. “Justin Smith.”
Jack nodded and I watched, noticing his reaction was different to Justin than to Kyle. Something passed between them unspoken. Not good.
After a few minutes of exchanging pleasantries, Jack asked Sienna. “What time do I need to have her back tomorrow?”
Sienna smiled, “Afternoon?” She redirected the question to Kyle and Justin with a look and an arched eyebrow.
Justin responded with an edge to his voice. “Early afternoon. I want to rework your set list.”
Jack turned to face me, a slight smirk on his face. “Ready to go, or do I carry you out of here?” I knew he would do it, because he had done it before in the middle of a bar when I didn’t start leaving fast enough.
I furrowed my brow to him in challenge and he responded by raising his eyebrows, daring me to question his intentions to carry through with his threat. I laughed and shook my head. “Goodnight, guys.”
Jack had a car and driver waiting out front. He gave the driver the name of a hotel and grabbed my hand tightly, lacing our fingers as he settled back for the drive. I turned to speak to him, but before I could get out two words, his mouth was on mine. We were oblivious to the fact that we had pulled up at the hotel until the driver cleared his throat to catch our attention.
We weaved our way through the hotel halls in a frantic quest for Jack’s room and privacy. As usual, I followed a few steps behind Jack’s long strides, struggling to keep up with his pace. We arrived at his room and Jack put the key in, opening the door for me to enter before him and then following me in grabbing me firmly by the h*ps as he walked us to the bed.
The back of my legs hit the bed and Jack’s lips covered mine urgently. Our mouths pressed tightly against each other as our tongues collided with insatiable need. Whatever needed to be said was going to be expressed, the words would follow later. He pulled my shirt over my head and relieved me of my bra before I had even realized I was half undressed. He lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he took my taut nipple into his mouth. I felt the sharp sting of his teeth as he bit down firmly, pulling my body tightly against his. I felt his thick arousal press into me and a moan escaped at the sensation of his hardness pressing firmly between my legs. Jack took my mouth again, pulling me into a kiss so passionate that it bordered on violent. He leaned forward and lay me on the bed, removing the rest of our clothes in a frenzy. When we were both bare, he hovered over me, his thick arousal pressing firmly against my cl*tas he ever so slightly moved up and down, massaging my most sensitive nerves. His forearms framed both sides of my head and his thumbs gently stroked my cheeks as he continued his slight movement that had me on the brink of ecstasy.