My mind spun as I stood there watching her in silence waiting for her next move. She didn't attempt to move though. Instead, she just closed her eyes and exhaled as she rested her head back down onto the pillow.
I held my breath and reached for Jace's hand for comfort as it lightly brushed against mine, sending chills up my arm. The feel of his soft skin made me remember to breathe again. If it wasn't for Jace's support then I would have fallen over in a weeping mess. There was no way that I could have done it without him.
"It's okay, Avery." Jace whispered. "You have to show her that you're here to support her no matter what." He gently kissed my forehead and gave me a slight push to get me going. "I'll be right beside you."
I slowly made my way over to the huge bed with Jace following close behind, but stopped before I got too close. I had no idea what I was going to say and I was honestly terrified.
I glanced beside me and smiled over at Jace as he stood there looking calm and relaxed, arms crossed over his chest as he smiled back. He seemed so put together and confident. How could he manage to be so perfect?
"Mother- I… I'm-"
"Avery," My mother cut me off, her voice weak. "Are you really here?" She whispered.
My heart raced as the sound of my name. It sent chills down my spine and reminded me of how much I had actually missed her in the last year. I didn't realize it until that moment, but I did. I missed the good times that we had. As few of times as there were, they made a difference in my life.
"I'm here," I whispered. A tear rolled down my cheek as my mother's hand reached out for mine. It was pale and badly bruised. It reminded me too much of my father and I had to fight the urge to not break down. It was enough to see my dad a bloody mess, but now my mother. It was all too much for me.
My mother's hand was ice cold as she wrapped her fingers around mine and softly rubbed her thumb over my hand. "I'm so sorry," she cried. "Shit, Avery. I messed up. I really messed up." My mother struggled to open her eyes as she pulled me closer and wrapped her arm around my neck. "I'm the worst mother in the world. I should have been there for you," she breathed. "I never thought I'd see you again."
I fought back the tears that were threatening to form as I looked into her eyes and gripped her other hand. I hadn't expected an apology and my emotions were running wild. She had hurt me a lot in the past, but she’d had her good times as well. Maybe none of that was important anymore.
Since meeting Jace I had begun to realize that looking back was only going to keep me down. Starting fresh and working on being happy was the only thing left to do. "The past doesn't matter anymore," I whispered. "I'm here for you. I won't leave you again." I squeezed her hand and leaned in closer.
Suddenly my arms wrapped around her frail body and the both of us just let it all out. All of the hate, the hurt and the frustration that has kept us back for so long.
The tears rushed out and I felt a sense of relief. I felt safe there in her arms with Jace by our side. I could tell that by the way she held me that she felt safe for the first time in a long time as well. Maybe even, for the first time since she had met my father. It made my heart ache to think about it.
I didn't understand how she had gone through so much hurt and for so long. Maybe my father wasn't always a monster. Maybe he was good once and she was holding on to the hope and memories.
After a few minutes of silence, I felt Jace's hand on my back. His touch was supportive and gentle. It reminded me that he was there for me and he wasn't going anywhere. That thought alone was enough to make me smile. He was the light in the dark when I needed it the most and that moment was now.
I pulled away from my mother when she groaned out in pain again. I didn't even realize how much pressure I was putting on her. I was just happy to be close to her and I didn't want to let go. I had imagined the moment that my mother and I could let go of our fears and be close my entire life. I wasn't ready for the moment to end. "I'm sorry. I'm just happy that you're safe." I smiled, but felt bad for hurting her.
Jace rushed over and grabbed the back of my mother’s head for support as she attempted to lie back down and get comfortable. "There you go." He smiled as he pulled the blanket up to cover her shoulders and then brushed the hair from out of her face. "Can I get you anything? Just relax, Joyce."
My mother looked a little confused at first, but managed to smile when she realized that Jace was with me. "Thank you. Um…" She paused searching for a name.
"The name is Jace ma'am," he said softly. "It's nice to meet you."
Seeing Jace being so polite and caring made my heart pound. I was amazed. How does he do this to me? He had everything that any woman could ever dream of in a man and yet there he was next to me.
Jace stood next to the bed and placed his hand on my shoulder. "Maybe I should give you two some alone time. I'll be out in the hall." He smiled down at my mother as she reached for his hand and squeezed it.
"Thank you," she whispered, looking him over. "I've never seen her look so... alive."
Jace nodded his head, a look of pain in his eyes, and then left the room.
It was silent as I sat there on the edge of the hospital bed. The temperature seemed to drop as soon as Jace left the room and it left me feeling cold and lost.
Should I tell her about my scumbag father? How would she react? Would she hate me? After watching her lay there in the bed with her eyes closed, curled up into a ball, I decided that it was probably better to wait. She had already been through enough and she deserved just a little moment of peace. I didn't want to be the one to ruin that for her.
I jumped out of thought at the sound of my mother’s voice. I was so lost in thought that I hadn't even heard what she said.
"Avery?" She tried again. “Are you okay?”
"Huh?" I mumbled looking into her eyes.
My mother reached out and ran a hand over my face. "What happened to your eye?" she questioned. "Who hurt you?"
Shit! Please just drop it.
"I said what happened to your eye?" She sounded angry as she leaned back on her elbow and sat up. "Who did that?"
I turned my head away from her vision and pushed myself away from the bed. I didn't need her asking any questions. All of the answers would lead to her piece of shit husband and how Jace put him in the hospital. "It's not important.” I smiled and squeezed her hand. "Get some rest and I'll be out in the hall with Jace..."