“I do. Plus, whatever we end up doing to help Declan and Neil . . . well, I think we’re going to need a few allies. They’re good ones to have. I don’t suppose Neil’s changed his mind?”
“No,” I said in exasperation. “He still keeps wanting to take the moral high ground, saying it’s best for Declan.”
“We’ll talk him out of it,” she said. “Once this is all over and Jill’s back.”
“Once Jill’s back,” I reiterated. The floodgate holding back all the emotions I felt about Jill threatened to burst. “God, I can’t believe we’re so close. It’s been so long, and I’ve been so worried about her.”
Sydney squeezed my hand. “I know, I know. And we’re almost there.”
“I wanted to rip Alicia apart,” I admitted. “For what she’d done. I wanted to pulverize her with spirit.”
“You didn’t, did you?” asked Sydney, her eyes widening.
I exhaled. “No. I wanted to, but no. I kept it in check. I only used as much spirit as I needed. And I’ve been keeping it under control ever since.”
The smile that lit Sydney’s features warmed me all over. “I’m so proud of you, Adrian. I know it can’t be easy.”
“It’s not,” I admitted. “But I’m trying. And I think I can do it—I think I can control myself. I don’t need the meds. I can just hold back on spirit.”
Her smile faltered, like she might disagree, but then she surprised me by saying, “I’ll support you and be there for you, whatever you choose to do, for the rest of our lives.” She handed me the bag under her arm. “I got you a gift. Well, it’s kind of for both of us.”
I opened it up and found a coffee mug from Pies and Stuff. “Oh, man, I can’t believe you went without me,” I teased.
“This is for us,” she said. “The first thing to put in our new home together. I’m working out something with Stanton to buy our freedom. When this is all over, we’re going to have a life together, Adrian. A real one.”
Love for her threatened to overwhelm me. I set down all my bags and drew her into my arms. That silly mug suddenly took on monumental significance, and looking down at her, at the face I loved so much, I could see the future she described, a future together where we could accomplish anything. Going back on meds seemed a small price for that. I didn’t need spirit so long as I had Sydney.
I pressed her gently against the door and kissed her, allowing myself to briefly forget everything waiting for us outside this room. For now, there was just the two of us and this one perfect moment of togetherness.
“You make me believe anything is possible,” I whispered.
“I told you before, we’re the center,” she said. “And the center will hold.”
I kissed her again, more deeply, and it was with great reluctance that we finally had to draw apart again. “I’m all for a real home,” I said, brushing hair from her face, “but before that, can we please have a real honeymoon?”
“Gladly,” she murmured, kissing me one more time. “As soon as we have Jill, everything’s going to change.”
I held her tightly. “Then by God, let’s go get Jill.”
The four of us hit the road to St. George, driving overnight to get there in time. We tried to take turns and get rest, but it was hard. Honestly, by this point, I felt like schedules and “daytime hours” were just suggestions in my life. I was happy to be with Sydney again, and she and I found ourselves catching up on what we’d missed during our time apart. She wouldn’t elaborate on what deal she was attempting with Stanton, but she spoke confidently about that future home we both wanted so much.
We made good time, arriving at the Alchemists’ and guardians’ makeshift command center just before dawn. And as much as I hated to admit it, the Alchemists proved useful. In less than a day, they’d found a vacant office building and filled it with Alchemists and computers. They had cameras and satellite info on the Warriors’ compound, as well as scouts already in place on-site, reporting back with information on the Warriors’ state of affairs and security measures.
A gruff guy named McLean was in charge of the Alchemists’ soldiers, and he and Dimitri—who’d gotten there a few hours ago—were working surprisingly well together organizing the attack. Everyone assured us it would be simple, relatively speaking. Our forces outnumbered the Warriors’. If the initial raid came on strong, without warning, there should be no reason we wouldn’t triumph. Sydney and I exchanged uneasy glances, knowing things were rarely as easy as they seemed, but we tried to be optimistic. We hoped this would be simple. We needed it to be, and we sent Dimitri, Rose, Eddie, and Neil off in high spirits, leaving us nothing to do but wait around for updates.
It felt strange for me, though, not to be out there. I’d spent so much of the last month worried for Jill but unable to act while trapped at Court. Then, when we’d gotten our lead on Alicia, I’d had to stay behind at first in order to cover for Sydney. Now, finally, we knew where Jill was, and I was staying behind again. It was maddening. Ever since I’d brought Jill back from the assassination attempt, I’d felt as though her life were in my hands. Even though I knew a compound of armed fanatics was best breached by trained guardians and Alchemists, I couldn’t shake the feeling I should be out there.