Shelby was about to ask who “her” was when Justice sighed heavily.
“I know you’re right, but that was the worst. Knowing that Lillie was in danger, scared. I loved her so much. Both of them. Knowing it was my fault about killed me.” He held up his hand. “I know, I know. It was my father, not me. I get the distinction. But they were everything to me. Loving them, knowing they could have been hurt—” He shook his head. “I can’t begin to describe what that was like.”
“But it was worth it,” Kipling said quietly.
“Now. I’d be lost without them.”
Gabriel put down his cards. “I went through that with Noelle,” he admitted. “Not being sure. She was so happy and positive all the time. I could only see the darkness.”
Shelby had heard a little of his story. How he’d been a doctor in the army for several years, serving the front line. He’d been the first doctor the most seriously injured had seen. It had been his job to patch them up enough to get them to a real facility.
When he’d come to Fool’s Gold to visit his brother for the holidays, he’d been exhausted. Both physically and emotionally. She supposed it was impossible to see what he’d seen, day after day, and not be affected.
“She got me through,” Gabriel continued. “She was there, in my face, pulling me along.”
“How much did you resist?” Kipling asked.
“As much as I could. Every step of the way. But she never gave up on me.” He grimaced. “I could have lost her. Sometimes at night, I wake up in a cold sweat, thinking about that. I could have lost her.”
“But you didn’t,” Shelby told him. “You’re together now.”
“We are.”
They were lucky, she thought ruefully. Able to break through whatever their problems had been. They also weren’t the least bit subtle.
“I know what you’re doing,” she said, giving in to the inevitable and putting her cards down on the table as well. “But it’s not going to work.”
“Why is that?” her brother asked.
“Because I don’t want what you have. Any of you.”
Angel smiled at her. “You’re not a very good liar, Shelby.”
“I’m not lying,” she insisted. “I thought I did. I thought I wanted to have a husband and a family, but I don’t. It’s too hard. I wanted to learn to trust a man. So I did. I trust Aidan. But it doesn’t matter, because in the end, love means giving over too much of myself. I’m not willing to do that.”
Angel studied her. His pale gray eyes were a little unnerving. It was as if he could see into her soul.
“Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith. I know they say the best things in life are free, but every now and then the good stuff has to be earned.”
“I know what you want,” Kipling told her. “You want us to say that relationships don’t matter. But we won’t, because it’s not true.”
Gabriel nodded. “The people we love and who love us back are all that matter.”
She wanted to cover her ears and not hear what they were saying. “Can’t we just play cards?”
“No,” Angel said easily. “Sorry, kid. This is an intervention.”
“My second one in a month,” she grumbled. “The last one was my girlfriends telling me I was a duck.”
“What?” Kipling asked.
“Never mind.” She folded her arms on the table. “Go ahead. Say what you have to say.”
She would surrender to the process because it was the only way to get through the moment. Then they would move on and she would be fine.