“I don’t see what trying on a wedding dress has to do with anything,” Shelby said. “I need to talk to you.”
“And we will talk. But you have to put this dress on first. Come on, Shelby. How can it hurt?”
She wasn’t sure, but the potential for pain seemed right there. She looked from the dress to her friend’s very determined face, then sighed.
“Fine,” she grumbled. “I’ll try it on. I’m sure I’ll look like an idiot, but I’ll do it anyway.”
“That’s my cheerful friend. Always looking on the bright side. Now, with a dress like this, you don’t pull it over your head. You step into it.”
Shelby did as requested. The dress was lined with a cool, smooth material—maybe silk. Madeline pulled it up around her and Shelby slipped her arms into the long, lace sleeves.
The dress had a fitted bodice and was covered entirely with lace. The back formed about a three-foot train. The style was simple and elegant.
“Not yet,” Madeline said, when Shelby started to turn toward the door.
Madeline pinned up her hair, then attached a short veil. “Now you can look.”
Shelby walked down the short hallway to the main salon of the bridal shop. There was a dais with a half circle of floor-to-ceiling mirrors. Madeline helped her up, then moved behind her, straightening the dress.
Shelby stared at herself. Madeline had been right. The dress didn’t overwhelm her. The lace was exquisite and the fitted lines were perfect for her. Funny how until this moment she’d never once pictured herself getting married. Oh, she thought about being married, but not the actual wedding itself. Unlike other little girls, that hadn’t been a game she’d played.
The why of it swirled in her head. She didn’t want to think about it too much because then she would know what was wrong. And as soon as she knew, she would have to either fix it or accept that she was a coward.
“What do you think?” Madeline asked.
“The dress is beautiful.”
“You’re beautiful. There’s a difference. The dress is simply there to reflect you. Tell me what you see.”
Tears filled her eyes. “I’m a fraud,” she whispered.
“Why?”
Her mouth moved, but no words came out. The truth was so elusive. Right there but when she tried to grab it... She drew in a breath.
“I’m so scared.”
“Of Aidan?”
“No. Of surrendering who and what I am. I want to be in control.”
“Of what?”
“Everything.”
They both faced the mirror and their eyes met in the glass.
“It was all me,” she continued, wiping away tears. “From the start. It was my idea to fix myself by learning to trust a man. I’m the one who picked Aidan, then convinced him. I set the rules, the boundaries. I even decided when to break them and become lovers.”
“Because you needed to be in control?”
Shelby nodded. “It made me feel safe.”
“Why did Aidan go along with it?”
A good question. Why did he? “Because he wanted to change, too. At first. Later, because...because he cares about me. Because he doesn’t have anything to prove. Because he trusts me.”
“Quack,” Madeline said quietly.
Shelby laughed, then sobbed. She took a second to catch her breath. “You’re saying he loves me.”
“Yes. He loves you.”
“You know this for sure, or you’re guessing?”
“I’m pretty sure.”
Shelby stared at her reflection. The bride staring back at her didn’t deserve the beautiful dress or the wonderful man. She was still living in fear. Still hiding.