For the first time in his life, he didn’t want to be here. He didn’t want to be anywhere but back in Bradley. What was the point of seeing the world if he couldn’t also see Chloe’s face, hear her laugh, touch her?
He shook off the thoughts, telling himself it was little more than jet lag. Something that was to be expected after traveling nearly forty-eight hours straight. He would get over being tired and slightly off balance, just like he would get over missing Chloe.
Several women waited for him. He waved. Nada, the high priestess and ruler of the island, came toward him. Some of his pain eased as he felt genuine gladness at seeing her.
“Welcome back, Arizona,” she said in her oddly accented voice. Nada had grown up on the island, but in her late teens, she’d been sent to England. She’d stayed there nearly fifteen years, studying and learning customs of the West. Some women whispered she’d even taken an Englishman as a husband. If that were true, Arizona had never seen any sign of him. When he’d asked about that he’d been told that her husband had wanted to rule her head as well as her heart so she’d cut out his heart and eaten it for dinner.
“That showed him,” Arizona had replied before pointing out that the people of the island weren’t the least bit cannibalistic, and Nada had always frowned on violence of any kind.
True, he’d been told, but it made for a great story.
Nada walked toward him. She was tall and regal. He didn’t know her age, but guessed she had to be close to seventy or eighty. She wore her hair long—to her waist—and there was little gray in the shining black strands.
He bowed to the island princess and offered her a thin gold bracelet as a sign of affection and respect.
“Thank you,” she said. “But did you bring books?”
He grinned. “Two suitcases full. Romances and mysteries.”
Nada smiled at him. “We do like a good bit of death to mix with our love stories,” she admitted. “Come, everyone is waiting.”
He left his luggage by the boat, knowing that it would be placed in his hut for him. As usual, when he walked through the village, only the women came out to greet him. The men were too busy with their chores. Besides, it wasn’t correct for them to speak with strangers. On this island, men were to be seen and not heard. Which reminded him of something.
“I might have a visitor,” he said.
“No, you won’t.” Nada spoke with the confidence of one who often viewed the future and was rarely wrong. She wore a sarong-style garment that trailed onto the ground. Her stride was long and sure.
She glanced at him. “Who did you think might come out to the island?”
“If you know I’m not going to have a visitor, then you should be able to figure that out on your own.”
Her silence was a clear indication of her displeasure at his impertinence.
“I’m sorry,” Arizona said quickly. “I didn’t mean to be rude. I—” What was his excuse? He knew better. “I have a lot on my mind.”
The night moved in quickly as it always did in the tropics. Torches had been lit to illuminate the path. The lush plants crowded around so that he had to push against them as he followed Nada to the ceremonial grounds.
“My father,” he said at last when they stopped in the center of the open area. “We talked before I left California, and he said he would like to visit me.”
“I would make your father welcome,” the high priestess promised.
Arizona bit back a groan. He knew exactly what that meant. “He’s pretty old and he doesn’t get out much.”
Nada flashed him a smile. “I would be very good for him. I would help him forget. When you go back, tell him to come without you.”
Arizona knew better than to ask how she knew his father had anything to forget. Nothing about Nada surprised him. She probably would help his father to forget…if the excitement of the event didn’t kill him first.
As if sensing his exhaustion, Nada kept the welcoming ceremonies brief. As she escorted him to his hut, she didn’t even make the courtesy offer of one of the young women in her court. He was grateful not to have to politely turn down the gift. He had a bad feeling that tonight he couldn’t have thought of anything pleasant to say.
As he stretched out on his cot, he willed himself to sleep. But instead of oblivion, he saw Chloe. Forty-eight hours and half a world later, he realized he should have stayed. Even for a few days. They still had so much to say to each other. There were many things he didn’t understand. If only he’d told her…
Told her what, he asked himself? What was the mysterious message? That he would miss her? That he cared about her? But caring wasn’t love and Chloe deserved more than he had to offer.
He fell asleep still wrestling with the problem and awoke at the first light of dawn, still exhausted and restless. As he rolled over on the cot, he saw Nada sitting in the only chair in the room. For all he knew, she’d been there all night.
“Good morning,” she said.
“If you’ve come to take advantage of me, I’m going to be a disappointment,” he teased.
“I am not your destiny, Arizona Smith.”
There was something strange about her voice. Not just the accent, but also the tone and power. For once he had the feeling he wasn’t speaking to Nada, his friend, but instead Nada, high priestess and ruler of this land. Someone privy to mysteries and secrets he would never know.
He pushed himself into a sitting position. “I’m listening,” he said quietly.
“I dreamed about you, Arizona,” she said. “I dreamed when you would arrive and when you would leave. I dreamed that this trip was wrong, that you were leaving behind something very precious.”
Could everyone see the truth but him? he wondered. “A woman,” he admitted. “Her name is Chloe.”
“And?”
“And nothing. We were together for a while.” He ran his hands through his hair. “It’s so damn complicated. I love my life. I travel the world, I do what I want. No responsibilities, no ties. But she lives in this small town. Her family has owned her house for a hundred years. She belongs there.”
“Where do you belong?”
A simple question. The answer came instantly and with it a painful insight into the blackness of his heart. “Nowhere,” he said softly. He had never belonged. His father had abandoned him, his grandfather had dragged him from place to place, at times even forgetting about him. He didn’t dare risk caring about people or places because he knew he would soon be ripped away from them. All he knew was being left, so he’d learned early on to do the leaving first.
“Yes,” Nada told him. “But you are not that little boy anymore. You’re a strong and powerful man. You can choose to stay with her. You can choose to accept your destiny.”
She leaned forward and held out her hand, palm down. Without being told, he held out his hand, palm up. She placed something warm there. He tightened his fingers around the object without looking at it.
“See with me,” she whispered.
He closed his eyes and then he knew. Images flashed through his mind. Chloe, always Chloe. He saw them laughing together, talking. He saw himself teaching. He saw their three children playing together.
How could he have walked away without telling her how he felt about her? He loved her. He’d never loved anyone before, but she was everything he’d ever wanted. With her, he could risk putting down roots. She would never abandon him. Look at how she’d always cared for the people in her life. She was his perfect other half.
He rose to his feet. “I have to get back to her.”
“I know.” Nada stood. “The boat will be here shortly.” She gave a self-satisfied smile. “I arranged it last night.”
He kissed her smooth cheek. “When will we be back?” he asked.
“In two summers. But your father will have visited me before then. In fact, he might decide to stay here.”
Arizona laughed. “Great. Just be gentle with him. It’s been a long time.”
Nada’s smile faded. “I will not be taking your mother’s place.”
Arizona wrapped his arms around her and hugged her close. “I know. But thank you for worrying about that.”
She patted his face, then swept out of the hut. Then she glanced back over her shoulder. The Cheshire-cat smile had returned. “Congratulations.”
He waved, thinking she meant on his upcoming marriage. Good news. At least with her blessing, he was reasonably confident Chloe would say yes. Maybe he hadn’t blown it completely.
But that wasn’t what she’d meant at all. When Arizona turned to pack the few things he’d taken out of his suitcase the previous night, he remembered the small object Nada had pressed in his hand. He uncurled his fingers. Instantly his throat tightened as wonder filled him.
The small stone statue was old, weather-worn and had probably been carved a thousand years before the birth of Christ. But he could still recognize the crude rendering of a woman. He rubbed his thumb over the round mound that was her belly and knew what else Nada had seen in her vision.
Her congratulations hadn’t been about his upcoming marriage, they had been because Chloe was pregnant.
* * *
THE OPERATOR WAS very apologetic, but she couldn’t seem to make the connection. Arizona thanked her, then slammed down the pay phone. He didn’t know what was going on. He’d never had trouble making a call from Guam to the States before. He had the oddest feeling that fate was conspiring against him speaking to Chloe before he could actually see her in person.
He glanced at his watch and swore. His plane would be boarding in less than fifteen minutes. He didn’t have time to keep trying a call that was obviously not going to go through. He closed his eyes and tried to think. Then it came to him. He sprinted across the terminal and raced up to a window.
“I need to send a telegram,” he said, and began frantically writing the message.
Thirty minutes later he was in his seat on the plane, refusing the offer of something to drink before they took off. From Guam he would fly to Hawaii with a five-hour layover, then on to San Francisco. This wasn’t the most direct way back, but it had been the best he could do on such short notice. At least Nada had arranged for the boat to return for him. Otherwise, he would have been stuck on the island an extra week.
Thinking of Nada made him think of Chloe, but everything did these days. He pulled out the small statue and closed his fingers around the worn stone. He doubted she knew about the tiny life growing inside of her. He hadn’t decided if he should tell her or let her figure it out herself. Maybe he should just propose and then wait for her to tell him about the baby. He didn’t want her thinking he was only interested in her because of the child. Even if he and Chloe could never have children, he would still want to be with her. She was the very best part of him. He ached for her the way a swimmer staying underwater too long ached for air.
He tucked the statue back in his pocket, then opened his briefcase. He might as well try to work on the long flight. He doubted he would be able to sleep.
He pulled out a folder and saw a thick stack of papers underneath. Chloe’s article. He’d been too caught up in missing her when he’d been flying to the island to read what she’d written. Now he wanted to see what she had to say. Maybe reading her words would make him feel connected to her.
The article opened with a quote from him. “I’m no one’s idea of a superhero. People who are heroes change the world for the better. Gandhi, Joseph Campbell, Mother Teresa…these people are heroes. I’m just a stubborn man who does his research and occasionally gets the opportunity to find something fantastic.”
Chloe went on to say that there were those who would disagree with the idea that he wasn’t a hero. She hadn’t made up her mind, but from all that she’d seen, he was, at the very least, a good man, and how often could that be said about someone these days?
She wrote about his background, mixing humor with the sad image of a little boy often left alone in strange places. She explained how those experiences had molded him into a unique person. She detailed the myth behind the man.
Arizona didn’t know whether to be thrilled or embarrassed. She made him sound like a really great guy. He liked that, but he was also aware of his limitations. Then he turned the page and froze.
“The first time I saw Arizona Smith was in a dream.” She went on to tell about the family legend, the magic nightgown, and how on the night of her twenty-fifth birthday, she’d worn the nightgown and he’d appeared before her. She talked about meeting him the next day, of how he was exactly as she’d dreamed…right down to the scar on his arm.
Arizona didn’t know how long he sat there, dumbfounded by the revelation. Everything fell into place. No wonder she’d acted so odd when they’d first met. She must have been terrified and confused. After all, Chloe didn’t believe in magic. He closed his eyes and tried to remember all he could from the family legend. A smile curved his mouth. The fact that she’d dreamed about him meant they were—if he recalled correctly—destined for each other. It confirmed what Nada had said…and what his own heart had finally told him. They belonged together. For always.
He read through the rest of the article. Chloe’s style was clear and concise. He could see her visual images clearly. As he turned to the last page he wondered if she would consider collaborating on a writing project with him. Something about his travels. Then he noticed a handwritten note at the bottom of the page.
“I couldn’t let you go without telling you the truth. I love you. You don’t have to do anything with that information. I don’t expect you to say anything back. I know that we have very different lives and goals. At first I told myself it was enough that I’d known you and we’d had a short time together. But now I want more. I want to know if there is a way to find a compromise between our worlds. Please use your time on the island to think about this. At the end of summer, if you find you want me, I’ll be waiting.”