“We’re going bowling tomorrow.” I knew as soon as I said the words that they sounded lame. “And you’ve only been here for a day.”
“Yay.” He shook his head and he looked away from me. “We can go bowling and Clementine can go on her study dates.”
“Look if you really want to go to a strip-club, we can go to a strip-club.” I jumped up, feeling angry that Clementine was with Holden again and grabbed my wallet. “We just got to be back before Clementine gets home.”
“Pussy.”
“You want to go or not?”
“I’m coming, dude. I’m coming.” He jumped up with a huge grin. “Don’t let me make you change your mind. Let’s go play some real or fake.”
“You’re a pig.” I laughed as we walked out the front door. Real or fake was a game we’d played in South Carolina when we went to the strip club. We’d try and grab girls’ boobs and see if they were real or fake. I’d usually feel them up with my hands, but Tomas liked to try and grab them with his mouth - which wasn’t always accepted by the strippers. We’d been kicked out of several strip clubs in our time, but it had always been fun.
“So you don’t want to play?” He looked disappointed as I turned him down.
“No, I don’t want to play.” I frowned at him as we left my apartment building and I realized that I wasn’t just saying that. I had no interest in touching or seeing other girl’s breasts. I didn’t even feel excited about the possibility.
“Come on dude, what happened to you?” Tomas frowned. “You know I love Clementine, but you’re still in your twenties, you’re too young to become some pussy-whipped old man. Is this really the life you saw yourself having after college?”
“Did I see myself dating Clementine and living in Boston? No.” I answered. “But then there are a lot of things I didn’t see or think about.”
“I can’t believe you moved here, bro. You messed everything up. I hooked up with Penelope last week and she—”
“You hooked up with Penelope? Clemmie’s ex best friend? The girl that tried to fuck me in the back of my truck?”
“Yup.” He grinned at me.
“Are you out of your mind? She’s crazy!”
“I didn’t say she wasn’t, but you ever fuck a crazy chick? They are down for basically anything.”
“I’m going to be sick.” I cringed. “Are you desperate?”
“What?” He frowned. “Where’s my high-five? What’s up with the judgment? Boys don’t judge man. What’s Clementine done to you?”
“I’m not judging you man, but you can do better than Penelope.”
“All of us don’t want a perfect girl like Clementine.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” My voice sounded surly and I stopped in the street.
“Are we really going to do this bro?” He frowned. “What’s going on with you?”
“Nothing.” I sighed and reached out and gave him a quick man hug. “It’s good to see your handsome face Don Juan.”
“That’s racist that is.” He grinned.
“It’s not racist if it’s true.” I laughed.
“Why I gotta be Don Juan, why can’t I be—” He stopped and burst out laughing at my expression. “Got ya bro, take a chill pill. Life isn’t so serious. It’s about fun. Love, sex and fun. It seems to me that you’ve forgotten that.”
“The expression is love, sex and rock n’ roll.” I corrected him and he groaned.
“Let’s go see some titties.” He pulled out his phone. “Let me Yelp it, I got a feeling you ain’t got no idea where the strip-club is.”
“You know what, I really don’t.” I shook my head in surprise. “I don’t even know where the local pick-up joints are. I don’t even know how freaky girls up here are in bed.”
“You think they’re freakier?” Tomas eyes lit up.
“You’ll have to tell me.” I grinned and I felt my stomach curdle. “It feels weird saying that.”
“What?” Tomas looked at me in confusion.
“Saying you’ll have to tell me. I’m normally the one that’s doing the telling.”
“You wish, bro.” Tomas shook his hair and smiled as two girls walked by. “Have a great evening ladies.” They looked at him and giggled and he gave them a huge smile. “I’m only here for a few days, so if you need some Tomas loving, come back on by.” He called after them and they giggled and continued walking.
“They looked like they were in high school.” I shook my head and he laughed.
“Dude it’s only illegal if you touch them. I ain’t got time for no high school chicas, you know that. 21 and up, bro. That’s all I want.” He ran his hands through his hair and grinned. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t show them what they’re missing. I’m a smooth, sexy, love machine.”
“I hope I never sounded like that.” I groaned as he started gyrating in the street as if he were an extra auditioning for the Magic Mike Two movie.
“Dude, you sounded worse. Hi, I’m Rhett. I’m blond, blue eyes and tan. I look like a regular Ken. I’ll pick you up in my mustang and fuck you in my truck, but don’t bother calling me ‘cos you won’t hear from me again. I’ll be too busy sucking up to my nerdy best friend Clementine O’Hara. And don’t you dare say we’re more than friends or I’ll rip your head off.”