Chapter 1
Meg
Present Day
Brandon Hastings stood in the doorway, looking tired and insistent as he spoke. I watched him talking, yet I felt like I was hearing his voice from some sort of distant speaker. His words were tinny and vacant-sounding. It was as if I were having another out-of-body experience. I looked over at Greyson and was surprised to see that he was staring at me and not at Brandon. He had a look of worry and concern in his eyes. And he looked scared.
“Mind your own business, Brandon.” Greyson finally turned to look at his friend, and I could see his gorgeous features turn into a grimace as he glared.
“This is my business. It’s always been my business.” Brandon stepped into the room and sighed. “We shouldn’t have let it—”
“Be quiet.” Greyson’s voice rose and I froze.
“It’s over, Greyson.” Brandon looked taller and bigger than I remembered as he took a step toward Greyson. I could see Greyson’s fists clench, and I felt my heart stop for one brief second. Where they about to fight? “Remember what we said, Greyson? When we first started the club?”
Greyson stood as still as a statue, and silence fell in the room as they stared at each other.
“We said we wouldn’t harm anyone.” Brandon’s voice cracked. “And we failed in that mission.”
“Things changed,” Greyson finally said. “Life changed.”
“Because of us.”
“No, because of you.”
I looked back and forth at them, wondering if I was finally going to hear the truth. Part of me wanted to know the secrets behind the private club, but another part of me was afraid. What if I heard something that broke me inside? I was falling for Greyson—slowly but surely. My heart had already carved a spot for him. I knew that I wanted more from him than what we had. I wanted to believe in him, more than anything, but I was scared.
“If you really believe that it’s because of me, then you’re more of a fool than I thought,” Brandon sighed and ran his hands through his hair.
“I’ve always known you were a fool.” Greyson turned towards me. “Meg, now you can see why I don’t listen to Brandon Hastings.”
“I told you not to hire her.” Brandon looked angry as he spoke. “Meg, you need to leave now.”
“Tell me why,” I said softly, daring to go against Greyson’s wishes. “I want to know why you were insistent that I don’t work here.”
“I’m sure you’ve realized by now that this isn’t a bar.” Brandon gave me a wry smile.
“I’m sure you’ve realized that Meg is an adult. An adult who can make her own decisions.” Greyson walked over to me and put his arm around my shoulder. At first I felt protected, but then I realized that his act was more one of possession. His action wasn’t to provide me comfort, but to tell Brandon to back off.
“Yes, I can.” I shrugged my shoulders and stepped away from him. “I want to know what’s going on here.” My voice cracked as I looked back and forth at the two men. They both looked obstinate and angry. Where one was dark, the other was light, but they both emanated the same energy. I could feel it in the air, the slight buzz of electricity that alerted everyone to the fact that anything could happen in the next few moments.
“We didn’t start the club to hurt anyone.” Brandon looked at me with pained eyes. “That was never the intention. It was just a bit of fun. A way for us to live the lives we wanted to. We wanted everything to be on our terms. We wanted women on our terms, yes. But we didn’t want to use them. We didn’t want to gain anything from them.”
“What did you gain?” I whispered, barely breathing.
“Nothing.” Brandon shook his head. “We gained nothing.”
“I suppose it’s all my fault.” Greyson looked at me with bleak eyes.
“Do you know what grief is, Meg?” Brandon turned towards me. “Do you know what it’s like to have your heart snatched out of your body? To have your tears shed tears for your tears? To feel like your life will never be the same again?”
“No.” I shook my head and bit my lip. And that was the problem. I’d never really felt. My life had always been so safe. So unfeeling. My parents were just there. My friends were just there. I’d had no great loves. No great heartbreaks. And I felt like I was just coasting in life. I felt like I was just there, barely existing.
“When everything went wrong here…” Brandon sighed. “I felt awful. I felt guilty. I felt uneasy. But I never really felt heartbroken. Not the way I should have. Not the way a human being should. But I realized that was because I’d lost a part of myself. Somewhere along the way, life had become too easy. Women had become too easy. I was coasting on the edge and I didn’t care. It wasn’t just me. I had Greyson, and if there was anyone more f**ked up than me, it was Greyson.”
“I’m still here, you know.” Greyson rubbed his forehead and stared straight ahead. “I can tell my own story of insularity and detachment.”
“It wasn’t until I met Katie and lost her that I realized what true pain was. What heartache was. And I knew that I had lost her because of my sins. I didn’t deserve her.”
“But you’re the one who dumped her. You dumped her even though you loved her?” I frowned, feeling uneasy. How would Katie react once she found out that her boyfriend was a monster?
“I dumped her because I loved her. I dumped her because she needed to grow and I needed to make peace with who I was as a man.” He looked towards Greyson. “We were wrong, you know.”
“Wrong about what?” Greyson frowned.
“Life isn’t just about us and about sex and money.” Brandon took another step towards Greyson, and as I watched his movements, I finally understood what Katie saw in him. He wasn’t just handsome and strong. There was a delicate grace and warmth in his aura that gave him an animal magnetism that was hard to resist. It made you drop your defenses, even if you knew you should back off.
I looked back at Greyson. His body was tense. His eyes were squinted, his breathing uneasy. I could tell that the situation was hard for him. He wasn’t in control, and I could sense that a part of him was unraveling, and that gave me hope. An evil man wouldn’t be on the brink of unraveling, would he?
“Meg, when Greyson and I started the club, we were—or at least I was—a different man.”
“Do you take advantage of innocent women?” I asked loudly, not able to take it anymore. “I want to know what’s going on. I need to know what’s happening.”
“So do I.” The voice was familiar, and I looked toward the door in shock.
“Katie!” I screamed and ran over to her. “Oh, Katie, what are you doing here?” I gave her a big hug and she smiled at me sadly.
“I was worried about you.” She squeezed me tightly. “I was worried about you and I kept asking Brandon what was going on.” We both turned to look at him, and he stared back at us with a blank expression. I could see Greyson looking back and forth between Brandon and Katie, and his face looked mutinous.
“I’m fine.”
“I didn’t know.” She pointed at Brandon. “You lied to me. You said you were going on a business trip.”
“This is the business trip I was talking about.” Brandon stepped towards Katie and then stopped abruptly as she threw her hands up. “I didn’t lie to you, Katie.”
“You knew I was worried about Meg being here.” Katie’s voice broke. “After everything we’ve been through, you lied to me again.” Katie’s voice was angry. “I’m so done with you, Brandon. I can’t stand—”
“I asked him not to tell you.” Greyson’s voice was direct. He looked me over for a few seconds before continuing. “I called him and asked him to come help me take care of a situation.”
“What situation?” My voice cracked.
“I asked him to come and get you.” Greyson’s voice was cold and he avoided eye contact with me. Brandon’s face looked surprised, and I felt my body growing cold.
“What?” I took a deep breath. “What do you mean?”
“I asked Brandon to come and take you away. You shouldn’t be here.”
“You wanted me to be here. You hired me.” My voice was a mere whisper in the room. I could see Katie giving me a concerned look, but I couldn’t look at her. “I’m still in training.”
“You need to leave, Meg.” Greyson’s face was like stone as he looked at me again. “You’ve been here too long. It’s time for you to leave.”
“So you’ve used me and now it’s time to discard me? Is it because I slept with you or because I know the truth about you?”
“Oh, Meg.” Katie’s words were hushed and worried.
“Yeah, so I’m a fool.” I bit my lower lip. “I know that now. I didn’t want to believe you could be that man, Greyson.”
“I never told you to believe that.” He shrugged. “You should all leave now.”
“Greyson, no.” Brandon shook his head. “You can’t—”
“You’ve changed your life, Brandon. You have real things to lose. You should leave.” Greyson walked back to his desk. “You should all leave.”
“Greyson, this isn’t for you to decide.” Brandon looked at Katie and sighed.
“Yes, it is.” Greyson picked up a pen. “I’m fine. I have a heart as cold as ice. I’ll survive.”
“I won’t let you treat women like that anymore.” I walked over to his desk. “You hear me, Greyson?”
“What are you going to do about it?” He looked up at me with bleak eyes.
“Meg, come on. We should leave.” Katie called me over to her, and I turned to look at her with unseeing eyes.
I noticed that she and Brandon were standing together holding hands. Once again, they were reunited—just like that.
I turned away from them to stop the pounding in my heart and the jealousy from seeping through my veins. Why was it so easy for them? We still didn’t even know what was going on, yet Katie was quick to believe that Greyson was the evil one.
“What happened to Maria?” I looked at the floor as I spoke. “How did she die?”
There was silence in the room then. I could hear someone’s distant footsteps as they walked around the club, and then we all listened as a door closed somewhere. I looked at Greyson then and his blue eyes gazed into mine with an emotion akin to sorrow.
“Which Maria?” Katie’s voice was squeaky, and I knew that she was in for a shock.
I spoke up then. “Brandon wasn’t engaged to a Maria in college, Katie.”
“What?” She sounded confused. “What’s she talking about, Brandon?”
“The Maria I told you I dated in college was a lie.” His tone was somber. “I was never engaged to a Maria in college.”
“But what about all the stories you told me?” Katie frowned. “They were lies?”
“I did date a Maria. And no, not crazy Maria,” he sighed. “I only pretended to date her because I promised her father I would look after her.”
“Then what f**king Maria did you date?” Katie screeched.
“He dated a girl from the club,” Greyson said. “Even though it was against the rules.”
Brandon nodded. “I made a mistake.”
“What?” Katie rubbed her eyes. “Maria was a girl from the club?”
“She was the girl who changed everything.” Greyson jumped up. “She was the girl who changed our lives.”
“She turned us from regular guys to the sort of guys you see put on trial for war crimes.” Brandon sighed.
“She’s the one who made us realize that...” Greyson paused and looked at me.
“She’s the one who made us realize that we were no better than cold-blooded killers.” Brandon stared at Katie with sad eyes and I saw her body trembling as she stared back at him. The words from his mouth had been spoken slowly, and each syllable had seemed to cause him pain. It was as if he were reliving the horror that had changed his life.
Katie stood there, frozen. She didn't know what to say or what to think. This changed everything. Suddenly everything she thought she knew had been called in to question. Now she knew that a saint and a sinner could be the same person. I looked at Greyson for a moment and wondered what his truth was. For some reason, I had a feeling that he was all sinner and that the pits of hell were waiting eagerly for him.
Chapter 2
Greyson
24 Years Ago
Two girls stared at me from across the room. One smiled at me with wide, eager eyes. The other one tried the seductive approach. They both played with their hair, and I knew that I could have either of them. I turned away from them and waited for Brandon to enter the room. I was disgusted with their behavior. Not because they weren’t allowed to flirt with me. I didn’t care about that. They were both fairly attractive. I was disgusted because I knew they were best friends. I saw them everywhere together, giggling and whispering and doing whatever else girls did. Yet they were both trying to attract my attention. Didn’t they care that one of them would get hurt if I hooked up with the other one?
“Brandon, here!” I called him over, grinning at him and the box of pizza he had in his hand. “I hope you got pepperoni.”
He grinned back at me and slid into the seat next to mine. “Who said you’re getting any?”