Disillusioned - Page 33/68

“Yeah.”

“Also, I have an idea.”

“An idea?” I leaned forward. “What’s that?”

“I’m going to see what I can find out about this elusive Steve.”

“Oh?”

“He’s the biggest clue we have right now.” Blake nodded to himself. “I think if we figure out who this Steve is and what his motivations were, we can start to crack this code.”

“Don’t you think we should be focusing on the Bradleys? I feel like David and Jakob will have the biggest clues.”

“I don’t think so.” He shook his head. “The most obvious suspects are usually the least likely culprits.”

“Or the most likely.”

“They are definitely involved, but I don’t see either of them as being the kingpin or the don, so to speak.”

“The don?” I sipped my coffee again. “Interesting you use that term. I met a guy recently who mentioned the Mafia to me.”

“You think the Mafia is involved?” Blake’s eyes lit up.

“No.” I shook my head. “I sincerely doubt it.”

“Yeah, me too. Kidnapping you and taking you to an exotic island is not their style. More like kidnapping and locking you in a black cellar with rats scuttling around your feet as the stench of rotting bodies nauseates you, while they whip you for information.”

“Really, Blake?”

“Sorry.” He made a face. “Hey, that’s a good thing though, right?”

“What? That I’m not in a damp cellar with rats nibbling on my toes?”

“No, that we have another fact.” He scribbled on his notepad. “Not kidnapped by the Mafia.”

“Yeah, that’s really helpful.” I shook my head.

“I told you.” He grabbed his pad and jumped up. “Let’s go and take care of your lock, then I’m going to head to the library to do some research.”

“Library?” I dropped a $5 note on the table.

“Yeah, I don’t want anyone tracking my IP address. Who knows what sites I’m going to have to hack into to get information on Steve?”

“Blake, I don’t want you to get into any trouble.”

“It’s no trouble.” He looked around him. “This will be fun.”

“I’m glad you think so.” I made a face at him as we walked to the subway station.

“Hey.” He grabbed my shoulders and stopped walking. “I don’t think this is fun fun. It’s scary as shit, but I don’t want you to focus on that. Focusing on all the psychos in the world isn’t going to help us solve this.”

“I know.” I reached over and hugged him. “I’m glad you called me. I don’t think I could have asked for anyone better to help me.”

“You’re not going to start ignoring my calls again, are you?”

“I wasn’t ignoring your calls,” I lied.

He rubbed the top of my head. “It’s okay, Bianca.” He whispered in my ear, “I’m the last person you need to be worried about right now.”

“Go to the library now.” I smiled at him widely, feeling positive and strong. “I’ll be okay. I can deal with the lock. You go now and start researching.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, I’m positive.” I nodded. “I got this.”

The letter was waiting on my doormat when I arrived home. It looked like the first letters I’d received. My heart didn’t even skip a beat as I opened the envelope. I read the letter quickly, trying not to read too much into the words.

It’s time for you to know the truth. It’s time for me to lay all my cards on the table. It’s time for me to make you mine once and for all.

Mattias

I walked into the apartment and went directly to my bedroom. I collapsed onto the bed, laying my head back on the pillows that had supported me and Jakob just a couple of days ago. So he had decided to come clean. I can’t say that I was shocked, but I was surprised. Why had he decided that now he wanted to tell the truth? Did he think he owed it to me? Did he feel guilty that he had taken me once again? Did he feel my pain knowing that my parents weren’t as squeaky-clean as I’d thought?

Or was he doing this because I told him I was with another man? I couldn’t believe that I was playing games with him. Not when so much was going on, but I just couldn’t stop myself from thinking about him. I was glad that Blake had contacted me. I wondered what he would find on Steve. I was annoyed that I hadn’t thought to research Steve myself. I just wasn’t thinking logically, but I knew that was due to the absolute confusion in my life. I’d tried to be light with Blake, but I was still pretty shattered about everything.

I wasn’t sure what devastated me more: knowing that Jakob had betrayed my trust or knowing that my parents weren’t who I’d thought they were. All those years, I’d believed that my father was a broken man because of my mother’s death. I’d thought he was heartbroken because he’d lost her. Now I didn’t know what to believe. I didn’t want to believe that my father was responsible for my mother’s death. I didn’t want to believe that my mother had had an affair. However, I wanted to hear what Jakob had to say. I wanted to know why he’d lied about who he was. I wanted to know if what we had experienced together had been real in any way.

Then I remembered something my father had told me when I was a teenager with my first crush. What was it he’d said? “Be careful who you give your heart to, Bianca. You never know who will rip your heart out so completely that you’ll never be able to get over it.” At the time, I’d just put it down to his still being depressed by my mother’s death, but now that I thought back to it, it could have had so many other meanings. Maybe she had cheated on him. Maybe my mother wasn’t the saint I’d grown up thinking she was. Did she ruin Jakob’s parents’ relationship? Had she had another child? Did I have a sibling? If so, where was the person? And did that person know about me?