Disillusioned - Page 5/68

“I wouldn’t expect you to say anything else.”

“It’s a bit like the pot calling the kettle black, isn’t it?” I was angry as I stared at him. “How convenient for you to place the lies on me.”

“I’m sorry.” He sighed heavily. “I didn’t want to take this out on you, like this.” He rubbed his temple. “I’ve just thought about this for so long, not this moment, but your mother and what she did to my family.”

“My mother didn’t do anything to your family, Jakob.”

“My mother lost the man she loved because of your mom.” His voice was hollow as he gazed at me. “I know you’re not your mom. I know that I shouldn’t blame you for her sins, but I just don’t know what to think.”

“Think about what?” I said angrily. “I’m the one that gets to be mad at you, Jakob. You’re the one that lied to me, not the other way around.”

“I feel guilty.” His voice was hoarse and pained. “I fell for you in a very deep and real way. I want you to trust me, but a part of me wonders if this wasn’t what your mom did as well. Was this how she stole my father away? Did she have the same angelic face and beguiling eyes? Did she trap my father with her casual innocence and aura of sex?”

“My mother didn’t do anything.” My voice was thin. “This situation is about you and how you lied to me. This is about how you kidnapped me and tricked me.”

“Just answer me one question, Bianca.” He took a step back and surveyed my face, his eyes keen and aware. I waited for him to ask his question. What could he possibly want to know that would make this any better for him?

“What?”

“Do you truly believe your parents were perfect? Do you really think their marriage was ruined only by death?”

“That’s two questions.” I was affronted. Of course my parents’ marriage had been perfect. I could still remember how devastated my father had been when my mother died. He’d loved her so much. They’d been a perfect couple, the couple that we all aspired to be.

I was about to answer when all of a sudden a memory hit me: I was sitting on the floor in the corner of a room, playing with two stuffed toys while my parents were whispering furiously. I looked up to the side to see tears streaming down my mother’s face. My father was gripping her arms tightly and muttering something indecipherable. I sat there playing with my toys and turned away from my parents, oblivious of the tension in the air. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the memory.

What had they been arguing about? I was pretty sure I could remember my mother saying, “I didn’t love him,” but then the memory changed to my father’s voice saying, “I didn’t love her.” My eyes popped open and I stared into Jakob’s astute eyes. I could feel the blood draining from my face as I stood there, my body cold in the warm night. What memory was that, then? I started to shiver as I pictured my mom’s tears and sobs. Had she cheated on my father?

“I see that you understand now.” His voice was cold.

“Understand what?” I whispered, not blinking for fear of my tears falling and embarrassing me. I felt numb inside, and only part of that feeling stemmed from the truth I’d found out about Jakob’s being David’s brother and a Bradley.

“That there’s more to this story than just your innocent mother dying.” Jakob’s voice was emotionless. “There’s more to this story than you think you—”

“Yes, there’s more to this story. I want to know if your father had my mother killed. I want to know if you’ve been keeping it a secret. I want to know why you had me kidnapped. I want to take you down, Mattias Bradley! I want to take you and your entire family down.”

“You don’t know . . . ?” He paused as he looked at me, his eyes never leaving mine, and I could see that he was waging a battle in his mind.

“What don’t I know?”

“You really don’t know about your mother, do you?” He sighed. “Your parents, like most parents, weren’t perfect, Bianca.”

“What are you trying to say?” I asked softly. “What are you intimating, Jakob?”

“I think your mother deliberately seduced my father,” he said softly. “Your mother ruined my mother’s relationship with my father and that ruined my mother’s life.”

“No.” The blood drained from my face. “My mother wouldn’t do that. She loved my father. They were in love. You must be mistaken.”

“I don’t think so.” He looked tense. “I’m searching for the truth as well, Bianca. That’s what we both want, right? The truth?”

I nodded.

“Bianca,” he said softly, his voice cracking. “Don’t you feel this?” He put his hands up in the air and I could see his fingers trembling slightly.

“Feel what?”

“This moment. This is hard for both of us because of our feelings for each other.”

“I don’t have feelings for you,” I said quickly.

“Liar,” he whispered, and turned to look at the ocean. I stared at his profile as he stood there, lost in thought.

“No, I think that’s you, Jakob—or Mattias Bradley.”

He turned to look back at me. This time his blue eyes were calm, the storm inside his head having passed.

“I need you to trust me, Bianca. I can’t tell you everything you want to know. Not yet. I need to figure some things out first. And I need to make sure you’re safe.”