“Did you build all of this? The fireplace?” I looked around. I didn’t know much about this sort of thing, but I doubted most fifteen-year-olds could have fixed it up so well.
“My grandpa is really good at carpentry and he helped me. The hardest part was the fireplace, and to answer your earlier question, yes there is a glass window in the skylight. We wouldn’t want to let the rain in. If my grandpa thought it was weird that I was suddenly interested in furnishing a cave in the middle of the woods, he didn’t show it.”
“Is this a joke? That just doesn’t sound like something you’d do at fifteen.”
“It’s no joke. I was on a mission. I was going to find my mate, bring her back here and find that happiness.” The way he said it, the far-off look in his eyes, made me wonder just how unhappy his childhood was. “I kept the ring around my neck and searched for her. I didn’t know what she looked like, but I figured I’d just know.”
“I’m guessing that quest didn’t last long.”
“No. After a few months, I just got pissed off. Why give me that damn dream just to make it impossible? My great-grandma got sick around then, but I confronted her. She told me I needed to have the experience in order to keep myself on the right path.”
“So how’d you go from searching for your mate to sleeping with anything that walked?” I tried to say it casually, but it hurt. I hated thinking about how many other girls he’d slept with—and discarded.
“I was tired of hurting. It was like a piece of me was missing. I needed to fill it—and forget. It didn’t take long to realize an endless supply of girls could make it easier. After a while, the pain went away, and I moved on. That is, until I met you…”
“You just wanted to sleep with me.”
“At first, sure, but I quickly realized it was more—so much more.” He ran a finger over my lips. “That first time we kissed, I sensed it. And after the beach, I knew it for sure.”
“You couldn’t have actually thought I was that girl.”
“Of course, I did. I knew it.”
“How?”
“I just knew.” He traced circles on my arm.
“You said in the dream we were in front of the fire.”
“Yeah…I remember every detail.”
“That’s impossible.”
“More impossible than a ring you can’t take off?”
“I guess not…”
He kissed the back of my hand. “You were worth waiting for.”
“Waiting for? You call what you did waiting for me?”
“I would have left. I wanted to just get the hell out of my life. I wanted to let someone else take over. I think that’s what my great-grandma meant when she said it would keep me on the right path. I think part of me, even if it was small, was afraid that if I left, I’d never find the girl—you.”
“This better not just be some weird trick to get me to sleep with you.” I tried to laugh, but his face was completely serious.
“I love you, Allie. I know I suck at showing you sometimes, but I really do.”
“Why do you think you needed to find this cave? What did it have to do with keeping you on your path?”
“You know how I said I almost left it all behind?”
I nodded.
“I was going to tell my dad when we were out here visiting. I figured it would be better to do it with my grandparents as buffers. My grandpa sensed what I was doing and dragged me out here to the cave. I still remember how he sat me down on that chair.” He pointed to one of the four situated around the table. “He said, ‘I was with you when you worked on this cave—don’t you think your mate deserves a chance to come here at least once?’”
“How bad was your childhood?” I had to know. What was so bad that he almost left?
“My dad is what he is. I was never good enough, and he never let me forget it. I was his greatest disappointment in life.”
“Levi, that’s not true.” I put a hand on his arm.
“It is. The first time in my life he said he was proud of me was when I told him I’d found you and made you my mate.”
“But I’d run away…”
“Yeah…”
“We both have daddy issues.”
“Daddy issues?”
“Come on, you know what I mean.” I put my head back down.
“He worked a lot, right?” He stroked my hair.
“Yeah. My parents were divorced when I was so little that I didn’t know any different, but as the years went on, he visited less and less. The only good thing was that when we were together, he always made me feel like his little princess.”
“Princess, eh?”
“Don’t—”
“Go on.”
“I was never as important as his work though. I don’t just mean the hours. Dad’s company doesn’t only buy hotels, they also buy other places. One time, when I was seven, they bought this old amusement park. I was with Dad when he went to look at a carousel they were taking apart to sell the pieces. It was one of those really old wooden ones. I fell in love with one of the animals. It was a flamingo that was a double-seater. I don’t know why I loved it—maybe it was the wings.”
“You’ve always liked wings, huh?” He arched an eyebrow.
“Levi.” I rolled my eyes. “As I was saying. I loved it. I thought Dad was going to get it for me…my birthday was coming up. I remember seeing the drop cloth in the living room that was obviously covering something big. I just knew it was the flamingo.”
“But it wasn’t?”
“Nope. It was a horse from a much newer carousel, or even one that’d just been made in a factory or something. Dad saw my face fall and asked why I didn’t like the horse. It had a purple saddle, and I loved purple. I asked why he didn’t get me the one I wanted.”
“Did he tell you why?”
“The biggest stockholder saw it when it was unloaded at his office. He wanted it for his daughter. Dad gave it away and figured he could just give me the horse instead.” I fidgeted. “I was so angry, I pushed over the horse and some of the paint chipped. I told him to get the stupid thing out of my sight. He looked devastated, so I ran. He never said anything about it, but he never brought me on any of his work trips again. Oh my god, this is embarrassing. I sound like a spoiled brat.”
“You don’t sound like anything. You were an eight-year-old whose dad broke her heart.”