He absentmindedly stroked the inside of her wrist. “No. Should’ve been my first indication things were wrong. She wanted a repeat performance at the club the next time and I said no. She threw a tantrum. No one undermines my authority at the dojo, or during a demo or at the club, so I forced her into a hojojutsu punishment scene.”
Amery’s pulse jumped. “What happened?”
“No matter how much she begged and cried, I refused to punish her in private. I bound her in a pose called humiliation, which includes neck ropes. Then I gagged her and used a paddle on her. After I’d broken her, I f**ked her but didn’t allow her to come.”
She turned her head away. That didn’t sound like him at all.
“Rather than it upsetting her, she got off on it. I rarely use humiliation in the dojo as a teaching tool, because it doesn’t work. I was completely unprepared for her reaction and my disgust with myself. I quit going to the club.”
“Ronin.”
“Then Naomi stopped showing up at my place, unless she was drunk, crying, and a mess. I always took her in. At the time I hadn’t known she’d still been going to the club and she’d become a submissive to several Doms. A few months later the club owner asked me to come back and give a shibari demo, but Naomi refused to be involved unless I f**ked her during the scene. I found another rope model. Naomi went a little psycho after the demo and started threatening me. So I had her banned from the club.” He set his chin on top of her head. “She told everyone I ruined her life and she returned to Japan.”
Amery let that sink in before she spoke. “She was responsible for her choices. You did what you had to, to protect yourself and your reputation.”
“It is my fault. She was young and I pushed her to the edge and she liked it.”
“And you ended up at war with yourself for giving her what she wanted.”
“Yes.”
Amery turned and kissed his jaw.
“Needless to say I joined a new club—the same one Knox belongs to. The women who agree to be bound by me know my rules. I rarely deviate from them.”
“So the woman at the club who ended up with Knox . . . ?”
“The club auctioned off a rope session with me for charity. The woman’s husband gave it to her as a birthday gift. They requested Knox as the demonstration closer.”
“I didn’t stay for that part.”
“Good. You should know that Naomi is also the reason I built the practice room. I thought if we had a designated place she wouldn’t need to go to the club. It didn’t change anything. And that room has been unused since then, until I met you.”
She closed her eyes. She’d heard men talking about being f**ked up by an ex. But what Ronin had dealt with Naomi? Epically f**ked up. And she suspected he hadn’t told her everything. Maybe he never would. It scared her to think Naomi had damaged him to the point he’d never trust her enough to open up completely.
• • •
THE next morning Amery scrutinized the marks on her body. Some had started to fade, but makeup wouldn’t cover the hickeys and scrapes on her neck. Was it ironic she chose a scarf that Ronin used to bind her to cover up the marks?
She opened the office, started coffee, and got to work.
Molly dragged in an hour late. The girl looked horrible.
“Are you all right?”
“Not really.” Molly bit her lip as if trying to hold back tears.
“You want to talk about it?”
“Not yet. It’ll help if I focus on work.”
“Being the über-organized boss I am, I e-mailed the updated daily task lists first thing.”
That earned her a smile. “Über-organized. That ages you, boss. No one says über anymore.”
“Get to work, whippersnapper.”
At lunchtime, Molly came into her office and shut the door.
Looked as though she’d decided to talk. They’d gotten a lot closer in the past few months. Whether it was because they’d passed the martial arts class together, or was due to Molly’s newfound confidence—either way, she’d opened up. They’d gone out for dinner and drinks several times, and their conversations hadn’t revolved around work. Amery had hung out with Molly more often than Chaz or Emmylou. “What’s up?”
Molly slid into the chair in front of the desk. She stared at her hands for a moment and blurted, “I cheated on Zach last night.”
Not what she’d expected. “Okay. How’d it happen?”
“Zach and I were supposed to go to a movie last night, but he called and canceled again. It’s happened so many times because Master Black makes Zach do jobs outside the dojo. Jobs he can’t talk about and he’s keeping really weird hours.”
Amery frowned. Ronin had been keeping odd hours too and hadn’t been forthcoming about what he’d been doing either—except he had come clean about jumping into the ring. But prior to that, when she’d asked why she couldn’t get a hold of him, he’d given her that scary “back off” vibe, so she hadn’t brought it up again.
“Anyway, this has been going on for weeks and last night I’d had enough. I went to a sports bar with my new friend Nina and she introduced me to one of her guy friends.” She sighed. “A really cute guy friend, who was funny and charming and he was way into me. One thing led to another and I went home with him.” Her cheeks turned crimson.
“Have you ever had a one-night stand before?”