“Gross. These have been gathering dust for twenty years.” She shoved the bowl aside and eyed the soda.
“Amery.” He plucked up her hand and kissed her fingertips. “Baby, please talk to me about what’s going on with you.”
Instead of immediately relating her job woes, she took the opportunity to address something else that she hadn’t brought up. “It bothered me more than I let on, watching you training with your black belts last week.” When he stayed silent and watchful, she continued. “Everything happened so fast the night we were attacked that I didn’t appreciate the nuances of your martial arts skills. Maybe it makes me naive, but I’ve focused on the graceful way you move, not why you can move with such stealth and precision. So when I witnessed your physical power and understood you are a force beyond anything I’ve ever seen? Seeing that side of you scared me.”
“You know I’d never hurt you.”
“You’re missing the point I’m trying to make. It’s like I was seeing you for the first time. What you do as a martial artist is so much a part of who you are. And since I don’t know that side of your life, you can understand why I’d feel like you’re a stranger sometimes. Why it feels like the only time we’re intimate is when we’re naked. You expect me to tell all and you don’t reciprocate.”
Ronin’s gaze roamed her face. “I’ve shared more with you than anyone.”
“You mean the kinbaku and shibari?”
“Not just that and you damn well know it.”
“That’s the thing, Ronin. I don’t. There’s so much you’re holding back from me. And what’s hidden beneath the surface might be some scary shit.”
“Amery—”
“So I’ll show you how this sharing thing works. Today, one of my biggest clients informed me they’ll be taking their graphic design work in-house rather than outsourcing starting the end of the month. And yes, I understand it’s just business, but it’s killing my business. I’ve lost accounts over the past few months for the same reason. I picked up a couple new projects, but this is my bread-and-butter client. I always worried about having a client like that, because I feared this very thing would happen. Now it has.”
“I’m sorry.” He kissed the back of her hand.
“I could look on the bright side and be glad they aren’t giving me the old heave-ho because the quality of the work has gone downhill or I’m slow in responding to their needs.” She swigged the Coke. “But I can’t think of anything besides that I’ll have to let Molly go.”
“It doesn’t help to conjure up worst-case scenarios.”
“I don’t need to conjure them, Ronin, because they’re already here. This is the reality of the situation. I set out to drown my sorrows so I wouldn’t have to think about it for the rest of the night, and I don’t appreciate you showing up here and forcing me to think about it.”
“Why aren’t your friends here supporting you?”
Amery sighed. “They ditched me to go to their g*y bar hangouts.”
“They left you alone after you’d been drinking?” he asked sharply.
“No. I meant I didn’t invite them to my pity party because we had words and we still aren’t speaking. The words I’m waiting to hear from them haven’t made it back to me yet.” She wouldn’t tell Ronin he was the source of discord between them. “But in my defense of drinking alone, I wouldn’t have attempted to walk home alone. I would’ve waited until I sobered up and called a cab.” She poked his chest. “Self-defense rule number one I learned at Black Arts. Avoid dangerous situations. See? I paid attention in class.”
“Do you have plans for the rest of the night?”
“Wallow. Then wallow some more.”
Ronin framed her face in his hands. “Come wallow with me in the pool. Or in the garden. But if you’d rather we can go to your place.”
Amery looked into his eyes, entranced by how they changed color. Right now they were a warm, soft brown and filled with concern. Then she felt guilty for saying she didn’t know him when very few people got to see this caring side of Master Black and he showed it to her—even if only limitedly. “Your place has more toys.” When Ronin raised his eyebrows she amended, “Not what I meant.”
“I’m calling that a Freudian slip anyway.”
“Whatever. No weird sex toys,” she warned.
“I promise only to use the usual sex toys.” He smooched her mouth.
“Meaning ropes?”
“Among other things. Let’s go.”
Amery perked up at seeing Ronin’s motorcycle parked by the curb. “Did you bring me a helmet?”
“Of course.”
It seemed as if Ronin took the long way back to his place, but Amery didn’t mind. There were worse places to be than twined around his strong body.
They held hands during the elevator ride.
Ronin asked, “Are you hungry?”
“No. I’d rather swim.”
“Are you changing in my room?”
“I left my swimsuit in the guest room.”
He kissed her forehead. “I’ll meet you at the pool after I shower.”
She opened the drawer where she’d stashed the two new swimsuits Ronin had bought her. As soon as she ditched her workday clothes, she breathed easier. Which was ironic since she’d never been comfortable in swimwear. Spying Ronin’s white dress shirt on the back of the door, she slipped it on as a cover-up.