My mouth opened, but no words formed. My breath hitched again, and I felt that damn knot in my throat expand.
“You’ve shown remarkable strength, and you have held it together in an incredible situation,” he continued, doing something akin to putting my heart in a juice squeezer. “Instead of doing nothing, you’ve opted to train, to defend yourself. I’m proud.” There was a beat of silence as he glanced at Seth. “However, your choice in males concerns me.”
“I think my choice in males is quite good, thank you,” I snapped back before I could stop myself.
Seth’s head swung toward me, as if he was surprised that I would defend him, which would make him an idiot, considering I’d just had my mouth on his.
Apollo’s smile reappeared and spread, softening the cold, eerie beauty of his face. “Well, then…” His gaze shifted to Seth. “I guess she told me.”
For once, Seth had nothing to say, and when I looked at him, he was still staring at me, his golden eyes wide and his face a shade paler.
“I cannot stay long. Being in your presence… Well, it drains me, but I…” His brows furrowed and he shifted from one foot to the next. “But I felt your pain earlier. I had to see you.”
There. That juice squeezer was working overtime in my chest. “I don’t know what to say.”
“You do not need to say anything.”
“No…I do. This…this is a lot. All of this is a lot. You don’t even look old enough to be my dad.” I laughed, and it sounded a little crazy. “And I knew you at one point. Your were my friend— my only friend, and you…you just walked in on me making out with a guy, so I feel like we just covered the teen years I never had with you.”
Seth choked on what sounded like a laugh.
“Let me put on record, that was not an enjoyable experience,” Apollo commented dryly.
“But you’re here and you’ve…you’ve been here in one way or another,” I said, smoothing a shaky hand through my hair. “And that has to mean something,” I whispered, my voice raspy.
His smile faded a little. “But right now, I know it’s not enough.”
I squeezed my eyes shut against the sudden, uncontrollable burn, and in a heartbeat, I felt that he was closer the second before he touched the side of my face. My eyes flew open, and he—a god, the sun god—was kneeling in front of me. A surge of energy shot through me, like being shocked by electricity.
“You must continue to be brave, to paidímou, i zoíímou. You must continue to be strong. Nothing you face will be easy, but I will always be watching over you.” He lowered his hand as he stood, addressing Seth. “And you…you are so very lucky.”
And then he was gone.
Just like that, there one second, and then gone the next.
“Well, that wasn’t as awkward…or as violent as I thought it would be,” Seth announced, obviously accustomed to Apollo popping in and out.
“What…what did he say?” My gaze shifted from the spot Apollo had stood to where Seth was. “In the other language? Do you know?”
He nodded as his face softened. “He said, ‘my child, my life.’”
My heart squeezed.
“I never thought he had it in him.”
“What?”
Seth scrubbed his fingers through his hair and then dropped his hand. “I never thought Apollo really cared about anyone other than himself. Not like I think—like I know he cares about you. He has compassion. I’ve just never seen him that way before.”
I don’t know what it was about that, but the tenuous hold I had on my emotions shattered. I broke wide open. My face crumpled as a sob ripped out of me, shaking my body. I smacked my hands on my face, but it did nothing to stop the tears. They wet my palms, streaked down my cheeks and shook my shoulders.
The bed dipped, and strong, warm arms circled my waist, and knowing that Seth had stayed here, that he hadn’t left, made it all that much harder to pull it back together, to stitch the rawness closed.
Seth made a deep sound in the back of his throat as he pulled me onto his lap, folding one arm around me. His hand curved around the back of my head, and without saying a word, he guided me closer, and I went. Having no experience with these kinds of tears, I burrowed in as close as I could, wrapping my arms around him, and I held on.
And he held onto me.
Chapter 25
OPENING MY eyes, I stared up at the bluish glow flashing across the ceiling from the TV. The volume was turned down to nothing but hushed whispers. I must’ve fallen asleep.
You‘re so very lucky.
I dipped my chin, my gaze traveling over the still form of Josie. Emotionally spent, she had fallen asleep in my arms. Hadn’t even woken up when I’d repositioned us at the head of the bed. She stayed in my arms, her body curled on her side, hips between mine, head on my chest.
I tucked a strand of hair back behind her ear. She stirred, but whatever she murmured was completely unintelligible. The arm I had draped over her waist tightened of its own accord.
Had I ever held a girl like this? Maybe once or twice with Alex, but with her it had never been a case of her really wanting to be there, with me. More so a case of her needing to be close to me, and that was a big difference. Honestly, Alex and I…we had needed each other.
We’d never wanted each other. Not in the way she’d wanted Aiden St. Delphi and not in the way I wanted—I cut myself off, even though it was pointless. But sometimes it felt like, if I didn’t allow myself to finish a thought, it wasn’t true. Dumb-as-shit logic right there.