“What’s going on in here?” Kyler asked from somewhere in the kitchen, and it sounded like he yelled it, as if his voice boomed like thunder.
“He won’t…let me go…upstairs,” I mumbled, leaning against the wall. “I need…to go…upstairs.”
The room spun as I pushed off the wall, my legs shaking as I reached the step. I thought I heard Syd’s voice, but they now sounded far away, somewhere back in a tunnel. I needed to get upstairs, so I could breathe. I needed to breathe.
A hand landed on my arm, but I kept going. Pure determination drove me up the stairs and toward the bedroom. My purse…it was somewhere in the room with my meds.
“Andrea, what the hell is going on with you?” Tanner was right behind me, his voice coming back in, loud and clear.
Please. Just go away. Please. Just go away. I wasn’t sure if I spoke those words out loud or not. I thought I did. I needed to, because the room, the world, needed to go quiet so that I could make this stop.
I stumbled across the room, toward the dresser, but I didn’t see my purse. Where was it? God, I needed to find it. I was frantic. Had I not brought it with me? Did I leave it somewhere? Panic exploded in my gut like buckshot. It was going to happen. I could feel it building at the base of my neck.
“Leave me alone,” I said, and as I spun around, I saw Tanner standing just inside the room, but I didn’t really see him. “Leave me alone!”
Tanner
I froze, hands at my sides as I stared at Andrea. I had no idea what was happening. I didn’t even know if she knew what was going on. Was she that drunk? Fuck. I wanted to help her, but I didn’t know how.
I stepped toward her and then immediately stopped as she shrieked, “Leave me alone!”
I halted once more. Something was very wrong with Andrea. Her face was flushed, too red. Her eyes were glazed over, maybe from the drinks, but they were darting too fast. Even from where I stood, I could tell her pupils were dilated. My stomach dropped and a horrible, insidious thought crept in. Was she on something?
“What can I do?” I asked. “Tell me what I can do to help you.”
Andrea shook her head and then she doubled over, folding her arms across her waist. Concern overrode any other thought. I moved forward, but a smaller form shot past me, heading straight for her.
It was Sydney.
She rushed to Andrea’s side, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “Come on, Andrea, take a deep breath. You need to stop and take a deep breath.”
Andrea was trembling so badly that Sydney was shaking. “I need…”
Either Andrea’s legs gave out or Sydney had gotten her to the floor, because they were both huddled there. “What’s happening?” I asked.
Sydney didn’t answer. She was focused on Andrea.
One of her small hands was on the center of Andrea’s back, the other above her chest. “Take a deep, slow breath. That’s all you’ve got to do. Take a breath…”
Never in my life had I ever felt so damn helpless as I stood there, watching them. I was trained to help save people, to rush into burning buildings and use instruments to pry open the mangled wreckage of vehicles. I’d given CPR and stopped gushing wounds, but I never felt more useless than I did then.
“I need…” Andrea gasped out between a broken-sounding sob. “…my meds…”
Her meds?
“I can’t give them to you,” Sydney said, running her hand down Andrea’s back.
Andrea’s cries grew stronger, and I couldn’t stop myself. I moved closer, kneeling down.
“I’m sorry, Andrea. I can’t,” Sydney continued, holding Andrea tight. “You’ve been drinking. I can’t give you those pills. Not when you’ve been drinking.”
“I can’t breathe,” shrieked Andrea.
“I’m going to get you to breathe again, okay? Just listen to me. I’m going to get you to breathe again.” Sydney paused, looking over at me. “You need to leave.”
Fuck that. “Is she okay?”
“She will be,” she replied softly. “But please leave. She’s not going to get better with you in here.”
I didn’t understand that, but as I glanced at Andrea, my heart fucking shattered a bit. She was practically curled into a ball.
“I’ll make sure she’s okay.” Sydney met my gaze. “But please leave. Let me take care of her.”
But I wanted to be the one to take care of her. After all, I had a feeling that I’d caused this—or at least added to whatever the hell was going on. Never did I suspect my ignorant words would have driven her to this, and maybe it was partly due to the alcohol, but I was a part of this.
“She has panic attacks,” Sydney said when I hadn’t moved. “That’s all this is, okay? It’s a panic attack.”
Panic attack? My internal thoughts were a parrot. I had no idea. Never once had Andrea mentioned anything like that or even appeared like she suffered from them. Obviously it was something relatively common if Sydney knew about them and Andrea had meds—meds she couldn’t take because she’d been drinking.
Oh man, I knew what alcohol could do if mixed with certain meds. I didn’t know what kind of meds she was supposed to take in this situation, but what if she had gotten up here and taken them? Good God, it could’ve ended in a tragic disaster.
I found myself nodding as I slowly rose and I wasn’t even aware that I was out in the hall until I spotted Kyler waiting by the steps. I walked past him. “I didn’t know,” I said. “I didn’t know she went through that.”