“I’m here,” I replied.
“You’re there,” he returned with a tip of his head to me then he gestured to his lap with a hand. “I want you here.”
Oh boy.
I pressed my lips together. Then I moved around his desk.
When I was within reaching distance, he reached. Hooking his arm around my waist, slowly and gently, he guided me in, turned me then pulled me into his lap so I had my legs over one arm of chair, my back resting against the other, my behind in his lap and both his arms around me.
“Okay, Anya, babe, before I take you home to my bed, it’s important you get me,” he said quietly.
I stared at him and when he didn’t go on, I nodded.
“I think you get from the times you’ve been with me that I like control,” he went on.
Well, I got that all right.
I nodded again.
“Right.” His arms gave me a squeeze then one hand slid lightly up my arm causing goose bumps the entire way until it went over my shoulder and finally stopped at my neck where he curled his fingers around. Then he dipped his face close to mine. “What you need to get is I… like… control. In all things.”
“Okay,” I whispered.
“So, I tell my woman not to drink, she doesn’t drink. I tell her not to dance, she doesn’t dance. I do these for my own reasons and you comply. You don’t, you answer to me. You put one of my boys out, you again answer to me. And, baby, you don’t want to answer to me.”
Right, okay.
This I did not like.
“Knight –”
His hand at my neck clenched gently and his face dipped closer. “I won’t hurt you. I would never hurt you. Not the way you’re thinking. But I would make you pay and how you’d pay might involve pain.”
Oh my God.
“What?” I breathed.
“An example, you got this, you knew it before now, you told Kurt you were gonna dance anyway, right now you’d be over my knees a different way. Do you get me?”
Oh. My. God!
My body went still.
Knight pulled it closer. “The punishment will fit the crime, Anya. Not lasting, no marks and it won’t go on for hours. And after, always, I’ll take care of you. Tonight, you look good, that dress looks good on you and men’s eyes were on you. I didn’t like that. In your section, they can look, they can see, they cannot get close. On the dance floor, they see more, you movin’ the way you do when you dance, you give them more to see and they can get close. You’re mine. No one touches what’s mine, gets close to what’s mine, they don’t even think about it. You on that dance floor, I saw them watching you and I knew they were thinking about it. That bothered me. I stopped it. If you don’t get it now, you will that I won’t ask you to do something you don’t like or that makes you uncomfortable. I’ll only ask you to do shit or not do shit that’s important to me. If I’m important to you, you’ll do it. And all this is the same when we’re in bed.”
I didn’t say anything, couldn’t think of what to say. I just stared at him.
Knight kept talking.
“You please me, I’ll please you. You do what I tell you to do, I’ll take care of you. You disobey me or act out, I’ll punish you then I’ll take care of you.” His thumb swept my jaw and he whispered, “And if you like your punishments, act out all you want, baby, then I’ll give them to you but I’ll always take care of you.”
Was he crazy?
Or just kinky?
“Are you into S&M?” I whispered.
He moved back an inch. “What I’m not into is labels. What I am into is control. You do not drive my ride. You do not get drunk when I want to f**k you sober. You do not dance if I tell you not to. I am not into kink, animals, candle wax, toys, knives, blood, needles, clamps, strangulation and definitely not any shit that goes beyond all that. It’s not a chosen lifestyle, playrooms and gear. It’s not an inclination. It’s life. I told you I’d ask very little of you, baby and this is what I’m asking. That you get this about me, you give it to me and if you f**k up, you take your punishment and we move on. You like it, wanna make it a game, you’ll get my limits, you’ll understand how I hand out punishment, you’ll know what you’re buying. You buy it, I give it to you. I don’t need it but I like it and if you want that game, I’ll say, straight up, I’ll be happy to play it.”
“And what if I don’t want that game?” I asked hesitantly.
“That would be disappointing,” he answered unhesitantly.
I studied him, my heart beating wildly and I whispered, “Is this what dresses, shoes and cell phones buys you?”
I froze solid at the change in his face and the fury in his eyes as he whispered back, “That, Anya, you confirmed you got me, would right now have your ass bared to me.”
Oh God.
I pushed away.
His arm and hand got tighter.
I stopped pushing and breathed deep.
“You stick by me,” he ground out, “you, and only you, will learn why I am how I am. No one knows. No one. But you, Anya, you stick with me, I’ll share. And right now, bonus. I’ll tell you what you already know but you don’t understand. I like control and I have a temper. I see the world a certain way. I want my world a certain way. And I set about getting it. If I don’t, if I can’t control that, harness it, things can get ugly. So I do. When I do, say when I’m punishing you, I never lose control because what I’m doing is a release. And the only time I’ll lose control is when I’m finally inside you and you’ll like that, I promise you.”
God, now he was turning me on, putting me off and making me curious all at the same time!
He drew in breath and the anger slid out of his eyes.
Then his thumb glided over my jaw, his hand shifted up to cup it and then his thumb slid across my cheek and then my lips as his eyes held mine and he whispered, “I can do gentle. I can do normal. I can and will do you a lot of ways, baby. And you got a preference, all you gotta do is ask and if I’m in the mood, I’ll give it to you. But you’re in my bed, my home, my ride, my club, you gotta get that I’m the man, yield to that and trust that I’ll always take care of you.”
Do me a lot of ways?
I sought clarification.
“Are you into, like, um… tying me up?” I asked.
“Bondage? Restraints? Gags?” he asked back.
I nodded.