His hand came up and he used the tips of his fingers to slide tendrils of my hair away from my face. Then they moved over my cheek, my jaw, my lips as he watched. Then his hand glided into the side of my hair as his eyes found mine.
“You full?” he asked quietly and I was, full of food, still full of him.
“Yeah.”
His eyes held mine and they did this a long time.
Then he asked gently, “Did I make my baby happy?” and my limbs all automatically squeezed.
He wanted that, to give that to me. He wanted it badly.
I gave him this and I liked it.
No, call me crazy, I f**king loved it.
And in return, he wanted to give everything to me.
“Yeah,” I whispered as his eyes dropped to watch my mouth move.
Then they came back to mine, I watched one side of his lips curl up and he murmured, “Good.”
Chapter Ten
Being Bad
“What?”
That was Viv.
“You need to stop asking around about Knight.”
That was me and I went on.
“He, uh… knows or figured it out because we were having words and I kinda let it slip then I kinda gave him the full story and you’re right. He’s private as in really private. He doesn’t like attention. He doesn’t like people to know shit about him and he doesn’t like it a lot. So, he asked me to ask you to stand down so I’m asking you to stand down.”
“Told you this guy’s shit is tied up tight,” she replied.
She could say that again.
It was Tuesday night, late. I was at Knight’s. He came to my place last night, woke me at nearly four in the morning, did me hard and controlling then I passed out for about an hour and a half before I woke up to get ready for work. I left him in my bed after I came to him dressed, he yanked me in, rolled me to my back and laid a hot, plundering one on me.
Tonight, my turn in his bed.
Which was where I was, lying across the satin comforter, already in my PJs, talking to my friend.
Or warning her off.
“You had words?” she asked, as was her way, nosily.
“He makes me happy. I was making that clear. He flipped out. Said some stuff to make sure it was him making me happy, not his generosity. That pissed me off. I got in his face about it. We talked it out. All is cool.”
“He makes you happy,” she whispered and my heart skipped at the tone in her voice.
“Very,” I whispered back.
“Really?” She was still whispering and it was still hopefully.
“Really.” I kept whispering too and then shared, “He likes my Buddha belly. He even brought me all sorts of cheese and crackers and bread and pâté, chasing that with carrot cake in order to assist me in maintaining it.” My voice dipped low. “Viv, he likes me for me.”
“Told you that Buddha belly of yours was hot,” she reminded me.
“I don’t know about hot. I just know Knight likes soft and sweet and womanly and that’s what he’s got in me.”
“In other words, hot guy Knight thinks that Buddha belly is hot.”
“Whatever,” I muttered and she giggled.
Then she stated, “So I take it you f**ked him and that was hot too.”
That was when I giggled and through it said, “Uh… you don’t f**k Knight. No way. Knight f**ks you.”
Silence then, “Come again?”
I blinked at the comforter.
After she got my silence, she stated, “Right. You signed a contract. First, babe, he doesn’t want me asking or gabbing, assure him that’s done. I’m not doing dick to f**k this for you. Second, just give me a one to ten.”
“Twenty-five,” I whispered.
“What?” she breathed.
“Maybe thirty,” I amended.
“Uh… no, babe, no. Please tell me you didn’t sign a contract.”
“I didn’t but, Viv, we talk about this, it’s between you and me. I’m not even going to talk to Sandrine about this. She gets drunk, she’s not dancing, she gets chatty. You’re Fort Knox if you wanna be and with this, I want you to be. For Knight.”
“Lips are sealed, babe,” she assured. “Really? A thirty?”
“He’s… different.”
“He’d have to be,” she muttered and I giggled again.
“It’s, Viv… um, he has a gig.”
“A gig?”
“A gig.”
“What kind of gig?”
“He’s bossy.”
“Right, well, that’s not a surprise.”
“Right, well, that kind of thing is who he is. It leaks everywhere. He likes control.”
“Control?”
“He tells me what to do, I do it. In pretty much all things at least, um… sexually but other times too but only if it’s important to him and so far he’s taken the time to explain.” I paused then said softly, “And if I don’t, he’ll punish me.” Then I finished on a hurry, “But that hasn’t happened.”
She was silent. My stomach clenched.
“It’s not as kinky as it sounds.” I promised quickly. “It’s really kind of –”
“Anya, babe, I’m a submissive,” she said quietly and I blinked.
My nosy, ballsy, bold, take no prisoners tell it like it is Vivica was a submissive?
“What?” I breathed.
“Thought about it, get it, like it, do it. To get out of that ‘hood and not live my life as a ‘ho or the bitch of some homey who gets a cap busted in his ass or a prison sentence leaving me with three kids all of who will grow up to be gangsters, ‘ho’s or stupid bitches tied to dead guys, I’m like Knight. I have to keep my shit tight. I don’t want to be the assistant manager of anything. I want to be manager. Then I want to be director. I want to own my own home. I want a nice place, nice car, nice clothes, nice shoes, nice furniture and a decent guy who takes out the trash at least by the second time I ask, gives it to me regular in a way that I like and whips my ass, literally, when I’ve been bad.”
Oh my God.
She kept talking.
“I gotta work so hard, keep my shit so tight, control my life so much to keep on the right track and get what I want out of life, it’s a relief to give all that up and put myself in someone’s hands. I trust them to take care of me, in most cases, they do. I’ve had two long-term Doms. One, I lost and I won’t explain because if I do, you’ll figure it out and he doesn’t want anyone to know so that’s his secret and not for me to share. The other, because he got off on the pain more than the trust or the relationship and sometimes failed to get me off so I got shot of his ass. Some women are into that. I’m not. But I’m looking. Just hard to find one who gets that’s bedroom, not life or not all of life.”