It’s not said like a fact, but a statement. He’s testing me, seeing what I know. Kelly is suspicious. He has every right to be.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” I say, keeping my voice steady and my face straight.
“Hmmm,” he grumbles. “I have to go. Come over anytime. Bring some alcohol. I’ve got everything else.”
“Okay,” I say, my voice small and weak—exactly how I feel right now.
Kelly leans in and kisses my cheek, lingering for a long moment. I close my eyes and fight back the tears threating to spill over.
“Be smart, Av,” he murmurs.
Then he leaves.
Be smart—how can I be smart when my heart is splitting into a thousand pieces?
~*~*~*~
“Keanu,” I say, walking up behind the tall, broad surfer standing beside the railing of Kelly’s beach cabin.
Nate is here—alone. The moment I walked through Kelly’s door I saw him. He looked at me for a second and then turned away, breaking my heart even further. Confusion is all I understand right now; I feel nothing else. I don’t understand what any of this is and I sure as hell don’t know what it means.
I could only find one escape from it all—and that was out the front of the cabin. The moment I stepped out, I saw Keanu’s back. I hesitated for a few heartbeats, nerves filling me. I feel as though I’m going to fan-girl over him. I’ve watched him for longer than I’ve watch Kelly. He’s amazing out on the water—like . . . epic. In a way he’s kind of my idol. He’s so determined, so strong, so passionate.
He turns when he hears my voice and his piercing green eyes fall on me. Keanu very rarely smiles; in fact, he very rarely shows any emotion. He should have been a cop. His eyes do lighten when he sees me though. I met him once, very briefly. But he knows how close I am to Kelly—and Kelly is someone he respects very much.
“Avery,” he says, his voice low and husky. “Fancy seein’ you here.”
“You remember my name,” I breathe, and realize I’m staring. Really staring. And my voice sounds . . . oh God – I’m fan-girling.
Shit.
I turn my eyes away and take a deep breath. Get your shit together, Avery.
“Yeah, darlin’, I remembered your name,” he says, his tone amused. “Don’t usually forget a pretty girl.”
I flush and keep my eyes turned. God, I’m acting like a complete crazy case right now.
“You lost your voice?”
I turn back, knowing my cheeks are flaming red. That’s when I catch a glimpse of Nate standing at the door, staring at us. He’s watching me very closely. I force myself to focus on Keanu. “I,” I begin. “No . . .”
He raises his brows just slightly, but doesn’t smile. “Good to see you here, Avery.”
“Y-y-yeah, you too. How’s surfing?”
He studies my face. “Same as always.”
“Right,” I say, feeling my cheeks heat. “Well, I should go and get a food. Shit, I mean . . . a drink. Get a drink.”
His eyes light up just slightly but he doesn’t smile. “You do that.”
“It was good to see you.”
I turn and hurry off, horrified. I rush past Nate and straight into the kitchen.
“There you are,” Kelly says when I round the corner, taking a beer straight off the counter.
“Kill me now.”
He raises his brows, and nods his head at something behind me. I turn and see Liam coming in. He’s got his fingers looped through the holes in a six-pack, pizzas in the other hand. He gives me a smile and I beam. He barely smiles anymore, so when he does it means a whole lot to me.
“Avie,” he says, throwing the beers on the counter.
“So,” Kelly says, turning back to me. “Why do I need to kill you?”
“I just completely fan-girled over Keanu. I mean, really bad—it was mortifying.”
Liam chuckles and Kelly shakes his head.
“He has that affect on women.”
A beer slams down beside me and I turn to see Nate, standing next to us, staring at his hands.
“Hey Nate,” I dare to say.
He doesn’t say hello. He just murmurs, “You got a minute, Avery?”
“Um,” I hesitate, staring at Kelly and Liam who are giving me what’s going on looks. “Sure.”
He turns and walks out. I quickly follow him. He leads me out the back door and towards the small park on the grassland behind Kelly’s cabin. I stop at the swings and decide sitting on one is best, I don’t trust my legs. Nate doesn’t sit; he just stands and stares into the darkness, not saying anything for the longest time.
“Nate, I . . .”
God, I don’t even know what to say. I don’t know how to feel or what to think. What am I supposed to say to him? I can’t ask him why he kissed me; I can’t ask him what it meant. It should mean nothing—it shouldn’t affect me because he isn’t mine. He’s never been mine and he’ll never be mine. I just don’t want to lose a friendship that has come to mean something to me.
“You into my brother,” he says, suddenly. His voice is low and gruff.
“What?” I say, shocked and a little confused.
“I said, are you into my brother?”
“Keanu?” I squeak.
“Yeah, fuckin’ Keanu,” he barks.
I shake my head, fingers wrapped around the chains of the swing. “I don’t understand . . .”