I’m holding Macy in my arms, trying to keep her calm. “Yeah, I need to calm the little one.”
He nods. “She’s stable. I think she’s had too much to drink, but we’re not sure that she hasn’t taken something else, too.”
“Something else?” I ask, my body stiffening.
“Drugs. It may not be, but we need to check.”
I nod, feeling my neck ache. “No problem.”
He rushes out after giving me the name of the hospital. When they’re gone, I take Macy into the kitchen. I can’t keep leaving my daughter like this. Something bad is going to happen. I can’t trust that Lena is able to take care of her. I can’t . . . I just can’t. I do the only thing I can think of, making the best decision I can make for my daughter until I deal with Lena.
I lift my phone and I call my mother.
~*~*~*~
NATE
“You can’t keep doing this,” I say, pacing up and down beside Lena’s hospital bed.
She sighs and rolls to her side, sipping a juice. “It was a mistake; I took it too far. I’m allowed to have fun.”
My anger rises to boiling point, but I squash it down. I can’t talk about this with Macy sitting in the corner.
“There’s fun,” I grate out, “and there’s taking it to the next level. You could have been killed—or worse, something could have happened to Macy. How would you feel if something happened to her?”
She stares up at me and something flashes behind her eyes.
“Why are you even here, Nate? We both know this relationship is damaged.”
“Beats me,” I mutter, kicking my shoe into the pole of her bed over and over.
“You’re going to leave me?” she croaks, her eyes welling with tears.
Shit.
“I . . . shit isn’t good right now Lena, and . . .”
“Please don’t!” she cries. “Please, I’ll do better. I love you, Nate; don’t tear our family apart. If you leave, one of us is going to miss out on our daughter.”
That’s what fucking scares me.
“Let’s just worry about now,” I say, taking a deep breath. “I think you need to sort your shit out before we can work out where to go from here. I don’t think you should have Macy while you do that. I’m sending her to my mother’s house for a few weeks. She’ll love it, and it’ll give you a chance to pull yourself out of this slump you’re in.”
“I think that’s a good idea,” she says, her voice low.
Well at least we agree on something.
~*~*~*~
AVERY
Nate: Answer me, Avery.
I don’t answer him. How can I? I’m making a huge mistake, putting myself second when I don’t deserve to be. I’m disrespecting a woman, and that is the wrong thing to do. Everything inside my broken and confused body aches; it has for days now. Nate has crawled into my heart, and the idea that I have to end this with him is killing me. It’s hurting me so badly, ripping my heart into shreds.
I’m sitting on my front patio, Caffy in my lap. I’m aimlessly stroking his belly, just staring out into nothing. My mind won’t switch off and I can’t sleep. I don’t even know what happened with Lena. I don’t know if she’s okay or if she’s hurt—I heard nothing from Nate for more a day. Then he tried to call me. I didn’t answer. He tried to text me. I didn’t answer. I know he’s getting frustrated but I can’t change this. Not even for him.
Nate: I’m coming over.
Shit. I get off my chair and rush inside, hurrying to the front door and locking it. Then I head down to my room and close the door behind me. I’m not ready to face Nate, not ready to watch his face fall to pieces as I end this with him. I don’t know if I can do it when he looks at me the way he does. I flop down onto my bed and curl onto my side, just waiting.
I hear him knock about half an hour later, but I don’t move. He pounds the door over and over, bellowing out my name. I cover my ears, letting tears leak out of my eyes and run down my cheeks. It goes silent a moment later, and I make a loud sobbing sound, knowing he’s probably gone. Then I hear a loud smash. I jerk upright and get to my feet, mouth agape.
He didn’t . . . he didn’t.
I run out the door and charge down the stairs to see him climbing through my front window. “What is wrong with you?” I screech the minute I hit the bottom step.
He straightens, dusting glass shards off his pants. He looks dark and dangerous today, wearing black jeans, a black leather jacket and heavy black boots. His hair is messy and he’s got a pair of sunglasses propped up on top of his head. He crosses his arms and has the nerve to glare at me.
“I’ve been calling, and I’ve been texting. Why aren’t you answering?”
“Seriously?” I snap, crossing my arms.
“Yeah, fuckin’ seriously,” he barks.
“I’m doing the right thing,” I yell, throwing my hands up. “I can’t keep being this . . . this . . . second choice. It’s not fair.”
His face drops and his eyes grow so pained that my heart aches. Those are the eyes I didn’t want to see.
“You think this is easy for me?” he rasps. “You think it’s fuckin’ easy falling in love with you and knowing I can’t have you whenever I want?”
“What?” I gasp, looking up. His words shock me. “Oh Nate, no.”