"That woman needs help and she needs it fast," Fred said as he rose to leave. "Wish me luck with Miss Worthington," he added as he left, slightly hobbled from his day on the slopes.
"You never need 'luck' when there's a woman involved," Dean called after him.
"By the way," Cynthia said, in a firm tone, "I believe I'm due an explanation from you."
"What for?" Dean asked.
Cynthia crossed to the desk and returned with a hand full of cards and envelopes. "I found these when I was searching for the picture of Reverend and Mrs. Martin. Care to explain why there are six unused Christmas cards, six Birthday cards..." she began counting, "…and seven Valentine cards, all 'To My Loving Wife,' or some variation thereof? All with unused envelopes I might add, all hidden beneath your undershorts?"
Dean shook his head. "Would you buy the answer that I ran into an incredible sale I couldn't pass up?"
"No."
"How about...."
"No." She shook her head. "Why would you ever do such a silly thing?"
"I guess I'm busted, huh?"
"Definitely."
"Well, you gave me such a hard time when I didn't get you a Christmas card, until the day after, I figured I'd stock up." He looked up at her, but wasn't exactly rewarded with a loving glance in return. "I guess that doesn't show me as a sensitive and loving husband, huh?"
"Why six cards? Why not twenty? Or fifty?"
"Styles change. See? I didn't want to get too far away from what's cool and current. I'm not some inconsiderate oaf. I'm sensitive about things like that."
"Why seven Valentine cards instead of six?"
"Valentine Day isn't until next month. I wanted them to come out even."
"And I suppose Mother's day cards weren't available this time of year?"
"I guess that one slipped my mind." Then he added, with an unsuccessful attempt at levity, "Doesn't this prove I'm looking at our marriage as a long term relationship?" She continued to glare at him, unsmiling. He pretended to hang his head. Cynthia crossed over to her husband, took his face in her hands and kissed him, hard on the lips. "Thank you, darling," she said, but the tone didn't come close to matching the words. "That's the one kiss you get for all nineteen cards." She turned on her heels. "Sorry you'll miss out on the other eighteen. Buy in bulk, get rewarded in bulk." She dumped the lot in the trash. "Men," she said disgustedly as she left the room, calling over her shoulder, "Go out and socialize with all those macho ice climbers."