I shrugged back at her. “You would have done it for me.”
“In a heartbeat.”
“Well it took a little longer than that but-”
“Can I perhaps…?” Matai suddenly appeared at our side, his eyes fixed to Haydyn as if he couldn’t believe she was real.
Reluctantly I stood back and let the two lovers embrace. I raised an eyebrow at Wolfe when they kissed in front of Raj. Raj, for one didn’t look surprised by the kiss.
“Ah… happily ever after,” Valena sighed dreamily from the doorway.
Chapter Thirty Three
If I could have wished for anything in this life, then I would have wished for Valena’s words that day to be true. But unfortunately, life just doesn’t always work out that way.
Haydyn and I had much to catch up on once we got back to the palace. The sight of Haydyn put pay to all the rumours and gossip that had spread across Sabithia and even into the neighbouring provinces. Calm swam through the provinces like the tide flowing in at night. With the evocation stronger than ever, word began to reach the palace that Markiz Solom Rada had begun working on ridding Vasterya of the rookery as well as his little army he’d been building. It was too late, however. The Guard had been sent out to arrest the Markiz. He would be tried before the court of the Rada for treachery. Jarvis was furious, and left little doubt in my mind that the Markiz would be dismissed from the Rada and imprisoned.
I received a letter from Kir, asking after me, confirming the rumours in Vasterya, the worry in Pharya over the Markiz’ arrest. He promised to keep me informed, my own little spy, while we dealt with the Markiz. As we wrote back and forward, I was glad for his friendship again. He was unsurprised to learn of my betrothal to Wolfe, having discerned Wolfe’s feelings for me during our time in the rookery. I grimaced at that. I really had been blind.
The Iavii were surprised, now that they were caught in the trap of the evocation, to find themselves agreeing to settle in a few acres of land on the northern border of Javinia. As for Tiger, Bird, Vrik and a few others, they were imprisoned in the palace jail for murder, theft and kidnapping. No one questioned it, now that the Dyzvati reigned supreme again.
For her part, Haydyn was so busy over the next few weeks that we never found a moment to really talk. She was mostly in discussions with Ava and Jarvis. Although I hadn’t gone into the details, I’d told Haydyn enough of what occurred on my quest for her to have questions and want answers. Moreover, I knew Jarvis was interested in conducting some kind of census to discover just how many mage were being born every year. The thought of magic truly returning to our world was sweeping Silvera with excitement.
In all that excitement it was easy for Haydyn and I to keep missing opportunities to really talk. Wolfe kept pushing me to just grab her and make her sit and listen to me, since my worrying was making him worry.
Finally, I took hold of my moment, leaving Jarek (who was surprised at my betrothal to Wolfe; a little sceptical even, but nonetheless happy for me, proving I was right when I suspected I was nothing but a mere flirtation to him) in the stables and hurrying to catch Haydyn as she left a meeting with Ava and Jarvis. I urged Haydyn to postpone a meeting with a dignitary from Alvernia to discuss the Autumn ball and ‘close’ relations with the Markiz Andrei and the Princezna. Seeing how troubled I was, Haydyn agreed and we headed to her suite, my palms sweating and my heart racing with all I had to discuss.
Once we were seated, Haydyn took my hand in hers, her eyes bright with remorse. “I haven’t spent nearly enough time with you, Rogan, and after all you’ve done-”
“Haydyn, don’t-”
“We haven’t even had time to discuss your betrothal to Captain Wolfe. Wolfe, Rogan! You’ve barely given me any answers to how that really came about. And none of that fluff about realising how you felt about one another.” She grinned, her eyes bright. “I want the luscious details.”
So I told her. But not just about Wolfe. I told her everything that had happened to me. She already knew some of it. About the Iavii and the rookery. But this time I didn’t leave out any details. I told her about Alvernia. About the good people of Hill o’ Hope. About the Mountain Man. About L and the Moss family.
When I drew quiet, Haydyn promptly burst into tears. Guilt crashed through me at having assailed her with such heavy information all at once. I reached for her hand but she drew away. “Don’t. How can you even touch me after all you’ve been through because of me? That man, Rogan… what he did to you…” She shook her head, her eyes so full of anguish.
“Haydyn,” I said sternly, easing down beside her and hugging her close. “I didn’t tell you to make you feel guilty. Nothing happened to me that couldn’t be dealt with. But I came to question things… important things… about Phaedra. About the way we run things. For that, I need you.”
She still looked pale and uneasy, guilt flickering in and out of her clear gaze. “Things? What things?”
I pulled back. “Didn’t you hear what I told you? There are issues in your provinces, Haydyn, the evocation cannot fix.”
Haydyn shook her head now. “Of course it can. The evocation stops anyone from doing anything that would hurt the peace in Phaedra.”
I felt frustration prickle. “But what if something happened again to the evocation? We’d be left with a world that isn’t properly governed.”
“But that’s what I’m trying to do.” Haydyn stood up now. “I heard all this the first time around, Rogan. I understood. Believe me. The provinces have been left in the hands of the Rada who have relied upon the evocation for everything. Laws need to be instituted to protect people like that kind family you met in the mountains. And they will be. It will just take time.” She drew breath. “In fact… I’ve decided to move the palace to Vasterya. I was just discussing it with Jarvis and Ava.”
“What?” I asked, my mouth gaping open in shock.
“The province is central. From there my power will be absolute. It will even reach Alvernia. What happened to you need never happen to anyone again. But as I say, this will all take time. Patience, Rogan.” She smiled.
For a moment I was taken aback by how determined and self-possessed Haydyn was. Then again, I had witnessed a change in her these last few weeks. She was taking charge with remarkable aplomb. The Sleeping Disease had changed her as much as I.
Still… I needed her to understand. “Perhaps once you’ve set up proper government, you might think about easing Phaedra out of the evocation?” I waited nervously for the answer.
Haydyn guffawed. “Are you jesting, Rogan?”
I frowned. “No.”
“Why would I take away the evocation? It’s my purpose in life.”
“Your purpose in life is to reign over your people and take care of them. Make decisions that will better their lives. Not control them.”
I didn’t mean the edge in my voice but it was there and Haydyn flinched. “Control them?”
I sighed. I was doing this all wrong. “Not control them. That’s not what I meant. I meant…” I searched the room, looking for the words. They landed on Haydyn’s bed, where I’d kissed her temple but weeks before, promising I’d wake her up. “We’re all asleep under the evocation. We’re not free to be truly ourselves. You more than anyone must understand the imprisonment of sleep, Haydyn. We’re not prepared for what will happen when we wake up. We never will be unless we stop relying on the evocation.”
Something happened to her as she stood before me. I saw her shoulders flick back, her spine lengthening, her chin jutting out. Her eyes were still kind, still loving, but they were determined. They were her own. “In sleep we don’t get the choice between dreams and nightmares. With my evocation, Phaedra sleeps peacefully. Without it… it could be a waking nightmare. And why should we worry about there being no evocation. That’s not going to happen. I won’t let it. You won’t.”
“I wouldn’t want anything to happen to you ever. And you’re right; I will do anything to make sure nothing ever happens to you again. But surely we should prepare for the worst when we’re talking about securing your people’s futures.”
“I am securing my people’s futures. I will marry. I will have children. I will teach those children to use the evocation. After everything you’ve gone through, how can you tell me the evocation isn’t worth it?”
I could feel myself losing my grip on this discussion, so I said the one thing I thought may penetrate, “It’s dangerous to rely on this, Haydyn. You can’t guarantee your children will be born with the evocation.”
Haydyn flinched. “The Dyzvati reign has not been broken in all these centuries. I doubt it’s going to end with me. But since you insist on being a pessimist, I’ll remind you that the contingency plan, as you suggest, is to enforce the evocation with proper legislation and closer involvement in each of the provinces.”
She was sure. There was no wavering self-doubt. This was a new Haydyn. She’d grown up. Finally.
I gave her a bittersweet smile. “I’m not going to convince you otherwise?”
My best friend shook her head firmly and then laughed softly at my expression, her eyes pleading with me to understand. “You wanted me to wake up, Rogan, and take control of my lands. Well this is what I see now that I’m awake.”
I sighed heavily. Haydyn was right of course. All these years all I had ever wanted was her to be the Princezna I knew she could be. I had just never realised that when she did, we’d see things differently from one another. Governing Phaedra, making the decisions for our people, had never been my journey. My journey had been saving the person who was destined for that… and in saving her, I saved myself.
I thought of Wolfe, the beginning of my new family, and it immediately made me think of Matai. “And Matai?” I asked, almost dreading her reply.
Sadness slid into Haydyn’s features easily, a bright sheen casting over her eyes. “An alliance with Alvernia would be advantageous for everyone. It’s difficult enough sticking my nose in on the Rada’s business, but as the wife of the son of the Rada of Alvernia, it would be in my rights to do what I could for the land and its people. I could bring so much to your friend L and her family’s life. But… if I marry Matai, a man of lower rank, then people will see it as a weakness. They’ll know I married for love. They might think me frail and too feminine to rule them. I cannot afford to be seen as weak right now.”
I felt a flush of anger, not only on Matai’s behalf, but because I was terrified Haydyn would make the wrong choice and spend her life miserable because of it. I knew what it was to love now, and I didn’t want her throwing that away. “I told you,” I argued, “You have all the power. They’re not going to object to anything you do.”
Haydyn sat down slowly, leaning over to take my hand in hers, her eyes begging me to understand. “I need time to think on it. I’m still holding the ball. I’ll make my decision then.”
I remembered Wolfe’s warning to me when I refused to marry him. “Matai won’t wait forever, Haydyn.”
She pulled back from me again, hurt in her beautiful and kind gaze. “You were the one who told me to make my own decisions. Now you’re angry because you don’t agree with them!”
I closed my eyes, my shoulders slumping in exasperation. Again… she was right. I glanced up at her through my lashes and nodded. “You are correct.” I tried to shrug off my misgivings. Haydyn wasn’t a little girl anymore. I had to let her make her own choices and believe she could cope with the consequences when they came. “I am glad you’re making your own decisions. Our opinions may differ but… all that matters,” I took her hand again, “Is I have faith in you. I went to the ends of the world because of that faith. I’m not going to give up on it now.”
She grinned back at me, relief thrumming visibly through her.
I squelched my fear at her glad smile. I’d just have to take every day as it came and hope the decisions she made were the kind that ended in her own happily ever after.
Epilogue
Although Haydyn’s happily ever after was uncertain, I knew I was as close to mine as I would ever be as I sat beside Wolfe on the cliffs outside Land’s End Cottage. After weeks of travelling, I wanted nothing more than a little bit of haven out here on the cliffs, away from everyone else. The quiet was wonderful. Back at the palace, Haydyn was arranging my wedding to Wolfe. It was to take place the first day of the Autumn Season and she was turning it into a lavish affair that made my head spin and my ears bleed. Wolfe had finally come to my rescue and absconded with me to the cliffs.
I sighed contentedly, snuggling into his side, loving the drizzle of sea spray that caught on the wind and kissed my cheeks. I knew I would have to deal with all the trappings that came with being a Vikomtesa; the large wedding, getting to know the dowager Vikomtesa. Wolfe’s mother was a bird of a woman, twittering at me nervously, her eyes asking how on earth the two of us had come to fall in love. She was gentle and kind but hated confrontation; I could see how easy it must have been for Syracen to hurt and abuse her. We were a different breed of woman, but for Wolfe’s sake I would try to be a good daughter to her, try to befriend her – even if that meant discussing dress fittings, menus, and sheet music. I’d have plenty of time in which to get to know her better, as Wolfe had agreed to move into the new palace in Vasterya so I could still be close to Haydyn, but only under the condition that we didn’t leave his mother behind in Silvera.