"You meddle too much in other people's affairs grandfather. You put him up to that didn't you?"
I nodded admitting my guilt.
"You've always pushed too hard!" She stated with emphasis.
I nodded again.
She looked away and I couldn't get a read on what she was thinking.
"Is it working?"
She nodded slowly, "Maybe." She said softly. Her eyes came back to mine and I saw the raw pain she'd been masking.
Emotion rose in her tone, as she started talking, "I thought I lost everything! But he says it's all still there! I want to believe him! I want the future we had planned together, but I don't know if I can.….." She said her voice trailing off miserable sounding.
"Avoid disappointing him?" I filled in for her.
She nodded emphatically before saying, "I feel thin. I feel like if I try too much I'll snap and go crazy!"
I nodded in understanding more deep than she knew.
She grew quiet and I watched the emotions and self-doubts that swirled across her face.
"I was tortured once."
Her eyes abruptly halted from her thoughts and showed surprised instead, "When?"
"Long before you were born."
"You've never talked about it." She said softly prompting.
"Well, as I'm sure you can attest to, it's not something you want to remember let alone talk about with anyone. In a way it's quite humiliating isn't it?"
"Yes!" She intoned emphatically, but I went on, as if I hadn't heard her speak.
"All of your basic concepts of self and life and the way you live it yanked out and exposed. Turned on end and broken. I know the crisis of identity you're going through honey. Some of your struggle will be with you for the rest of your life, but it doesn't have to define you or be how you're known by."
"Who helped you?" She asked softly.
"Your grandmother. She was an amazing woman. I kept telling her that I wasn't the same man that I was before. She just kept telling me and treating me like I was and one day I realized that I was."
I reached out to gently touch her taped together fingers. "Trent's that person for you."
She nodded, as tears fell freely down her face.
"He can help you pick up the pieces, but it's going to take Divine help to glue them all back together."
She nodded.
"Do you mind if I pray with you?"
"I would like that!"
And that's what I did.
Having been done praying for a few moments and just basking in the peace that comes, when needed most, I decided it was time to complete this positively upturned day. I made my way up to my feet slowly. Taking her good hand I pulled her up and roundly smacked Deshavi on the bottom.