Samantha stared at the glass bottle next to the bed filled with rose-colored liquid. Joseph had promised her two squirts from the perfume bottle once belonging to his mother would make Samantha beautiful. "Not that you need a lot of help," he said.
"I need to think about it," she told him.
"Why? Don't you think it'll work? You think I screwed it up somehow? I wouldn't do that-"
Samantha put a finger to Joseph's lips. "It's not that. I'm not sure I should take it." She couldn't explain to him about her experience with strange liquids on Eternity.
Joseph's face reddened as though he were getting ready to say something hurtful, but then he nodded. "It's all right. I understand. You take this and use it if you want. If you don't, that's cool too. I'll see you in the morning," he said. He walked her to the bedroom door, checking the corridor to make sure no one saw them. Then he pressed the bottle into her hands and kissed her farewell on the cheek. His beard scratched against her skin, but his lips were moist and warm. The spot where his lips touched turned red as Samantha blushed. Joseph pulled away, shutting the door behind him.
The taunts of the girls in the school rankled her yet again. She looked in the mirror, tracing the pimples dotting her face with one finger. Her finger moved back to touch the shaggy haircut Rebecca had given her two weeks ago. At the time she had liked the idea of no longer needing a ribbon or headband to keep hair from her face and not having to spend the better part of an hour each morning and night brushing the long tresses to keep them untangled. Now she saw how coarse and crude the haircut looked, how boyish it made her. She hated it and hated herself for asking Rebecca to give it to her.
Samantha hadn't felt like this since first waking up in Eternity. She remembered seeing her reflection in the stream for the first time and despairing about her narrow chin, sharp cheekbones, flat nose, big ears, and wide-set eyes. In the mirror now she saw puberty had sharpened those problems and added pimples. Ugly on the outside and the inside, she thought.
Taking the potion Joseph had concocted wouldn't do anything about the more serious issue of what she'd learned from Mrs. Milton. Becoming the most beautiful girl in the world couldn't erase the monster lurking within her. She picked up the bottle, weighing it in her hand.
The future awaiting her was one of wandering, searching for some quiet place where she might settle and live without hurting anyone. Even then she would always have to worry about the past one day catching up with her. She couldn't find peace and comfort anywhere no matter how beautiful she looked.