When You Were Young - Page 135/259

"Is school fun?" Joey asked her.

"Yes, dear, it's very fun," Molly said. "You get to read books and learn all sorts of interesting facts."

"Have you gone to school?"

"No," she said. "I haven't had the chance."

Last year she and Veronica had passed by the elementary school. Molly stopped and without thinking climbed over the fence. She ran across the empty playground, ignoring the swings, slides, and monkey bars. She knelt down beneath a window, peeking over the windowsill to look inside at the rows of children her own age sitting at their desks as an old woman read to them from a book. The old woman-the teacher-paused to write a sentence on the chalkboard.

For a moment Molly had a vision of herself standing in front of a roomful of children from Eternity. They all listened to her as she read from a book, their faces masks of concentration. When she stopped, they raised their hands to ask questions, which she answered one at a time. This vision paralyzed her with joy so that she didn't notice Veronica tugging on her arm until Veronica pinched her. "Let's go. School is for losers," Veronica said.

"I want to be a teacher when I grow up," Molly told Samantha that night when Samantha tucked her in.

"I'm sure you'll be a very good teacher," Samantha said with a faraway look on her face. "The best."

"You think so?"

"I know so," Samantha said. Then she kissed Molly on the cheek and turned out the light. Molly laid in bed the rest of the night, imagining herself at the head of the classroom. No matter what Veronica said, school wasn't for losers. Molly belonged in school.

"Is something wrong? You're crying," Joey said.

She put a hand to her eyes and found that she was crying. She wiped the tears away and forced a smile to her lips. "It's nothing, dear. Let's go home and put you to bed."

After putting Joey down for a nap, Molly went outside and this time allowed herself to cry. She had failed Joey so far as a teacher and they were both running out of time.