When You Were Young - Page 216/259

Veronica peered over the edge of the crib, her face troubled. "What's the matter with you? Your brain hasn't snapped again so soon, has it?" she asked. Samantha was too choked by crying to answer her. Veronica reached into the crib to pick Samantha up and pat her on the back. "There, there. Mommy is going to take good care of you."

"I sowwy," Samantha managed to get out. "I did this to you. It my fauwt."

"What do you mean?" Veronica held Samantha out at arm's length as if she'd wet herself. "What did you do to me?"

"I made you this way," Samantha said. "I made you so angwy and hateful. If I hadn't known you, then you would have been aw wight. You wouldn't have kiwwed anyone."

Veronica's face twitched, but she didn't say anything. Finally, she dropped Samantha back into the crib and then leaned against the side. "Maybe you're right," she said at last. "I probably would have been better off not knowing you. I would have been better off on my own."

Veronica's lip trembled and then tears came to her eyes. "It wasn't fair," she said. "You had everything. You never had to go home to a trailer with no electricity and no food because your mother was too busy whoring around to pay the electric bill or buy groceries. You never got woke up in the middle of the night by the smell of alcohol on your father's breath. You never had to comb your hair in the morning to cover up a black eye. You never had to stay home from school because you couldn't walk after one of your father's rampages."

Her voice grew louder with each sentence while tears coursed down her cheeks. She wiped at them with a furious hand. Then she reached into the crib to grab hold of Samantha's curls. "You were a spoiled brat who got everything you wanted, but it was never enough. You always wanted more. I wasn't enough of a friend for you. No, you had to have him!"

"Just because I wuved Andwe didn't mean I stopped wuving you," Samantha said. "You were awways my fwiend."

"You were everything to me. Everything!" Veronica said. "I didn't have anything else. But to you I was someone you hung out with when you didn't have a date. That's all I ever meant to you. Once you had him, I didn't matter anymore."

"That not twue," Samantha said. "I wuved Andwe in diffwent way than you, but I didn't wuv you any wess."

Veronica slammed Samantha's head against the side of the crib. "Liar! You didn't ever love me. You only needed me when you didn't have anyone else. You used me."