When You Were Young - Page 232/259

She thought of that final conversation in the cabin and again at the bank of the stream. A piece of Samantha's childhood friend had lingered until the end, but in the end too many years of anger and bitterness eclipsed the shy little girl Samantha had befriended in kindergarten. If only Samantha could have gone back to that moment and have done something for Veronica. Then Veronica and Molly as well as Andre, Joseph's mother, and everyone else who had died would still be alive. It should have been me, she thought. I could have saved everyone.

"You're wrong," Rebecca said from behind her.

Samantha looked up, wondering if Rebecca had somehow read her thoughts. "What do you mean?"

"I raised Molly since she was a baby. I'm the one who rocked her and sang to her when she cried. I changed her dirty diapers and cleaned up her messes. I gave her baths and fixed her hair the way she liked it. I heard her first word and I saw her walk for the first time." Rebecca came closer, poking one finger into Samantha's chest. "I loved her like my own child, so don't you dare tell me I don't know what it's like!"

"I'm sorry-"

"I watched her die. This little baby I raised and I saw the rocks crush her. You can't possibly know what that's like, to see your own child die."

Samantha put a hand to her stomach. "I do know, Becky. Believe me, I do." They embraced, weeping, like sisters. They remained that way for several minutes, until their tears dried.

Rebecca backed and stared down at the ground. "When I woke up this morning and realized she was gone I wanted to kill myself. I went into the kitchen and I held the butcher knife for what must have been an hour." She rolled up one sleeve so Samantha could see a thin red line along her wrist. "I got this far before I thought of her in those last moments and I realized what she'd done for me-for all of us. She gave us a second chance to live. Every day we have now is a gift from her and I can't waste it by killing myself. I have to make her sacrifice worthwhile by living. Do you see?"

Samantha nodded. "I'm sure she's proud of you." Rebecca rolled down her sleeve and then took Samantha's arm. They headed back through the forest to find Prudence and Wendell sitting at the edge of the trail, holding hands.

"Are you two all right?" Prudence asked.

"We were starting to worry," Wendell said.