Maybe unwittingly, but inexorably, I had set our son on a ruinous course. That puts me in the dock, doesn’t it? Let me plead guilty in your court that I buggered our son’s life. God forbid, if the apple of our eye were to die on the gallows, I would go insane. And I dare not see him even if he’s set free. What sense does it make for me to hang around here any longer?
What a congenial couple we had been! But, how stealthily had fate tampered with our wedlock! Don’t I know the pain you felt in having to forsake my womanly honor? But to what avail did I give in to my latter-day temptations? Why did I take undue advantage of your goodness to abuse my life that would have hurt you so much?
Now, more than ever, I can visualize what a pain it was for you seeing me turning into a bitch as it were. Oh, if only it had dawned on me then! Yet, it’s not with the intent to hurt you that I say this, but how would it have been had you put your foot down on my waywardness? But then, you are a gentleman, and I didn’t prove to be your worthy ladyship. And still, thanks to your large heart, I was cozy as your wife.
How the scandal changed all that! I am aware that the altered realities of our life would ensure that it could never be the same again for me and you as well. In a way, hasn’t our relationship become untenable, if not tenuous? Maybe, that is what life is all about. That things have turned sour now, it’s not fair to say that I regret my life, having led it consciously, rightly or wrongly. But if I were to do that, it might have some sympathetic accretion on the sentimental front, which I don’t want in my account anyway.
Well, I don’t intend to transfer my burden onto your conscience, as my hypocrisy would make you suffer even more in guilt. It’s you who strengthened my character and now I know its value as never before. Moreover, I have no taste to live like a curio for the rest of my life. You know, we always lived life the practical way and I want to end mine that way.
I’ve come to believe that you may be better off without me. As I have lost my shine, and I know it’s my own fault, it’s but proper that I don't let my shadow cast on your life. Besides, haven’t I become a jewel-less crown on your troubled head? With the aura of the jewel gone, what for thou bear its weight, my dear? No, I won’t let you suffer for I love you more than I thought I ever did. With the dead-weight of me gone, I am sure it would make a little easier for you. I know I owe that to you.