It was not meant in seriousness. It was a strange dream in this quiet moment. And still, he felt he should answer her honestly. He shook his head. “I cannot marry you.”
The words shocked her. “What?”
He saw immediately what he had done. “I cannot – I would never saddle you with my secrets. If my past were revealed, my wife would be destroyed. My family. I would absolutely go to prison. And I would likely hang. And you would suffer with me. And Caroline.”
“If we keep Tremley quiet.”
He shook his head. “As long as Tremley lives, my secrets live with him.” He paused. “And besides, I can’t give you the title.”
“Hang the title.”
He smiled, and there was sadness in the expression. “You don’t mean it.”
She didn’t. This whole life – everything she had ever done for the last decade – had been for Caroline.
“I wish…”
She trailed off as his arms came around her. “Tell me.”
“I wish we were other people,” she said, quietly. “I wish we were simple, and all we cared about was food on our table and roofs over our heads.”
“And love,” he added.
She did not hesitate. “And love,” she agreed.
“If we were other people,” he asked, “would you marry me?”
It was her turn to look to the sky, to imagine that instead of here – in Mayfair, by the light of a glittering ballroom, wearing a gown worth more than most people made in a year – she was in the country, children pulling on her apron strings as she pointed out the constellations.
And how magnificent that would be. “I would.”
“If we were other people,” he said, pleasure in his tone as his fingers stroked over her face, “I would ask you.”
She nodded. “But we aren’t.”
“Shh,” he hushed her. “Don’t take it away. Not yet.” He turned her in the darkness, until her face was in the light. “Tell me.”
She shook her head, sadness coming quickly, on a wave of tears. “I shouldn’t,” she said. “It is not a good idea.”
“I have made a life on bad ideas,” he said. “Tell me.” He kissed her, quick and lovely. “Tell me you love me.”
The tears spilled over, but she could not look away from him. She could not tell him that she loved him, because she might not be able to walk away from him then. And if she could not walk away from him, all of this – this entire mess into which she had dragged him – would be for naught.
“Tell me, Georgiana,” he whispered, sipping the tears from her cheeks. “Do you love me?”
If she told him she loved him, she knew without question that he would never allow her to do what must be done.
And so, instead of answering his question, she answered Tremley’s question from the night before. She reached up, slid her fingers into her love’s hair, and pulled him down to her, grazing her lips against his once, twice, before saying, “I choose you. Always.”
She chose West. Here and now.
He kissed her, deep and long and wonderful, rewarding the words even though they weren’t precisely what he wished for. When he pulled back, he said, “I choose you as well, my lady. Forever.”
She adored this man, in all the dark corners that she’d thought she’d locked away forever.
Forever.
It was a long time… and belonged to him.
She would give it to him. “I can repair this,” she said.
He grew curious. “Repair what?”
He began to walk again, edging them through the garden gate to the mews at the side of the massive house, where a crush of carriages waited for their owners to call for them.
“All of it,” she said, her fingers trailing over the great black wheels of a coach, then along the silky flank of one of its horses. “I can convince Tremley never to betray your information.”
“How?”
“With Chase.” For the first time since they had met as Georgiana and West, she did not feel guilty referring to Chase as other. Not now, not as she was willing to sacrifice the false identity to save Duncan.
He stopped, turned to her. “I don’t want you anywhere near this, Georgiana. Isn’t it time you leave him? Isn’t it time you begin your life without him?”
She shook her head. “Duncan, you don’t understand —”
He took her arms in his grip. “No, you don’t understand. I’ve taken care of it.”
Everything inside her stilled. “What do you mean?” Was he planning to confess? “Duncan, you must not —”
“I have taken care of it,” he repeated. “But listen to me. Chase is dangerous. He has the power to bring us all down if he wishes. This entire mess exists because Tremley does not trust Chase not to release the information on his treason.
“I don’t know what it is that keeps you so beholden to him – I swore I would not ask ever again. But I do know that it is time for you to sever whatever ties you have to this massive, mythical man.” His words grew more impassioned and his anger began to show. “It is time for you to leave him. To leave that place. To end this part of your life.”
“I know.”
His hands cradled her face once more, tilting her up to meet his. “Christ, if you don’t do it for yourself, or for Caroline… do it for me.”