Adrift
"So your plan consists of setting out to sea and nothing else?" Matt asked skeptically sitting beside me.
I shrugged, "We have nowhere else to go and we need an ally in this fight if we hope to free the slaves."
"You really think that these Whale People exist and that we'll find them?" Matt asked doubtfully.
"I think they exist and if we're meant to we'll find them. I trust God to provide us with what we need."
Matt was silent, but I detected he still had doubts.
That conversation had been five days ago now. We'd run out of water almost two days ago.
My face felt cracked and dry and my lips were bleeding. I was the only one still conscious in the boat as I manned the rudder.
My faith was being tested there was no other way about it. Either I was guilty for the murder of all those on board or help would yet come in some fashion.
The prop engine died, as it ran out of gas. In a way it had been a relief to empty the last of the gas into the engine this morning. Believe it or not but to drink the gasoline had been a temptation I'd had to fight against.
Thirsty as I was it didn't make any sense, but the body's need for fluid caused desperate thoughts to come to mind that should never have even been rationally considered. We were dying of thirst surrounded by a sea of what we needed to survive.
Even the seawater was tempting, but I'd seen what that could do to a person. Better to die of thirst than die of insanity.
I could rationalize why seawater was not an option, but reversely I'd been considering gasoline as a substitute for it. I'd already gone insane it seemed or just crazy with the need for water.
I closed my eyes as the boat drifted in the flat emptiness that surrounded us. I slumped against the prop engine and husked out, "It's all yours God. I don't know what else I can do."
There was something wrong with what I had just said. What was it?
"You should've given it to Me from the beginning. This task was always too hard for you, but I will make a way because I AM that I AM and I will be praised. Trust Me and lean not on your own understanding, fear and seek Me first and it will go well with you."
If I could have cried I would have. I'd messed up again!
I was getting bailed out again. I didn't deserve it miserable believer that I was, but I was grateful beyond expression for mercy to be extended to me once again.