The Diary Of Pamela D. - Page 96/114

To her own inner turmoil, she said, 'Go ahead and doubt. Go ahead and fear. Go ahead and try to confuse me with the words of demons like Albert Askrigg and the smoke and mirrors of my own timid imaginings. But I am going to marry Theo Dewhurst, and be his wife, and bear his children, and as God is my witness, love and nothing else is going to rule my life.'

The old mansion was in a constant state of uproar as the day of the wedding drew near. Guests began to arrive, relatives of the Dewhursts and the household staff. Soon its sixteen rooms were full, as they hadn't been for many a year. Even the old guest house, which for the past two decades had been used for storage, was cleared out, cleaned, refurbished and painted.

Though overwhelmed by all the attention, Pamela found herself able to manage somehow, due in part, no doubt, to her experience gained in managing the Crown Tavern. Theo, as yet, gave no sign of the change she hoped to see in him, yet there were unmistakable hints that change was in the air, or at least she believed so.

The police presence was stepped up so that constables patrolled the surrounding wood incessantly. Pamela was struck by an odd impression which she found herself unable to dismiss. The police seemed to be waiting- no, they were expecting something to happen. She realized that certain matters were being kept from her, that the police were planning something big.

The day before the wedding, she said to Theo, 'What are they getting set for? Are they expecting Albert Askrigg to come out of the woods leading an army and lay siege?'

In that instant, she finally saw Theo's mask for what it was. At the mention of Albert Askrigg's name his features seemed to harden into stone, belying nothing, unbroachable as the cliffs of Gibraltar. With a feeling like joy, despite Theo's reaction, she realized that the perceived problem in their relationship, the distance between them, was not what it appeared to be. Theo was worried about her! Worried sick. And he was trying not to let his feelings affect her, to spoil what should be the happiest day of her life.

New understanding opened her eyes and gave her the confidence to do something she had never done before. She went to him, put her arms around him and pressed herself to his chest.

'I love you, Theo.'

She stepped back from him when she felt him stiffen. But only for a moment, for his eyes were filled with surprise, and with the love she so desperately wanted to believe had been there all along. Swallowing hard, staring at her as though uncertain she were real, he said, touching her cheek, 'I loved you from the moment mother threatened to disown me. She meant it, too, you know,' he added with a small smile. 'But we're not out of the woods yet. You know, then, that the police are getting ready for whatever it is that Albert Askrigg has got planned.'