"$18,000." I whispered.
It was even available right now long after banking hours were over. That never happened!
My mind ran rampant all of a sudden with all I needed and could accomplish in three days with such a source of wealth. I'd set up my apartment for at least three months in advance as well as my phone bill. I'd pay off my two credit cards. Heck, I would even buy myself some new clothes, shoes, and a bag for this trip!
"Wait a minute, slow down." I cautioned myself.
Closing my eyes I asked, "God is it all right to use this money?"
No response came, which left me the difficult conundrum of solving out the moral effects of my own decision. I didn't like what the government did with my money, especially when it came to sponsoring things like abortions.
On the flipside this situation wasn't about the government and what they did, rather it was their money now in my possession as earned income. Did that however do away with all the moral objections that I had with what the powers that be did with the money allotted to them out of people's taxes?
Glancing into my rearview mirror I sighed. It occurred to me then that I did know at least one determining factor as to how to solve the situation.
God knew I needed the money. It wasn't right to default on my rent or let my bills go unpaid. Perhaps it wasn't savory either, but the reality of the moment was that I lived in a cursed world and the choices I'd rather not entertain sometimes demanded otherwise.
"Thank you for the money God. Help me spend it wisely."
That said I fired my car up and it seemed to purr with new life. Two questions immediately occurred to me. Was I going to get 18,000 every month and secondly was this expedition going to go on that long?
Resignedly I admitted that I'd signed up for something that I really didn't know anything about. God knew however and that was enough.