I let the lid of the box fall shut and crying I looked away as I said, "Break me in easy, yeah right!" I whispered out bitterly.
Francesca Marelli among her many unsavory business holdings owned a string of domination nightclubs and lounges. She thought rather highly of herself as a dominatrix both in the boardroom and in the bedroom. I apparently was the newest piece of flesh to be abused and added to her growing collection.
Screaming out in fury I wiped the box off the table with one arm, but my act of anger didn't change anything. Crying I ran out of my apartment in a need of fresh air, as I was overcome with the need to escape from everything.
*****
I pushed open the rusted door to the roof and stepped out into the warmth of the late afternoon sun. I made my way to the edge of the roof.
All the way up here I'd been fighting to deny the solution that had come to mind. It was simple really. If I jumped I would be dead. I would have paid once and for all for my sins.
The box and its contents wouldn't be sent and nobody after a brief few months of mourning would be any the worse for wear. I looked at the street level so far below and some form of reasoning slipped into my fractured consciousness.
I sank to my knees crying against the stained concrete of the building's roof. If I committed suicide it would hurt my family as much if not more than if they found out about me and what I had done to pay for college and law school.
I left the rooftop before I changed my mind. I didn't know what to do, but suicide wasn't an option I could entertain.
I walked for hours most of them aimlessly and it was a surprise that I looked up to discover myself at the ornate door of the house before me. I hadn't intended on coming here. I almost turned away, but I fought down that cowardice urge to leave. There had been too much cowardice on my part up till now. I had an apology to make.
I pressed the doorbell and waited. The door opened after a moment to reveal Jim Swanson, the former chairman of the board that I had just helped to depose and run into the dirt.
His eyes took me in and his look abruptly became hostile, "What do you want?"
His words were cuttingly harsh, but to be expected. My chin quivered and my tears came back to fall with abandon. I gave a choked out sob as I tried to frame words.