***
It was falling over in the water that jolted me awake. I was disoriented and confused by my surroundings. Bolting upright, I splashed and crashed about in the water as I wiped the wet hair from my face. Blinking away the water clinging to my lashes I looked swiftly around the darkening woods. I didn’t know how long I'd been sitting in the stream, but the sun was lower, and I was freezing and starting to resemble a raisin. My skin was covered with at least fifty red welts from the mosquito's dancing over the water.
I rose shakily to my feet, wincing as the softened pads of them landed upon the rocks. I made my way out of the stream, teetering like a newborn foal as I tried to avoid the more jagged looking rocks. I rang my hair out when I reached the shore. The last thing I felt like doing was putting my filthy clothes back on. Unfortunately I didn’t have any other options.
I slipped the smelly clothing back on and shuddered at the feel of it against my skin. Now that my skin was clean, the smell of them was even more repulsive as it engulfed me. I didn’t care if it was wrong or not, as soon as night fell I was going to search out some clean clothes. I was certain the owners of them would understand; if they were still alive they were probably looking for the same thing.
I groaned in disgust as I slipped the dirty socks back on and shoved my feet into my sneakers. “Feel better?”
I stumbled backwards and nearly fell over as the voice came from the edge of the woods. It took me some time to find Cade half hidden within the shadows of the day. “How long have you been there?” I demanded, trying to control the accelerated beat of my heart as I thought about what he might have seen.
He shrugged, which was a highly annoying gesture that caused my jaw to clench. “Not long.” His voice was causal, his posture almost indolent as his eyes perused me. He moved with the stealthy grace of a hunting tiger as he came toward me. I clung to my annoyance, even as my pulse began to escalate and a strange tingling filtered into my fingertips. Even dirty and disheveled he was gorgeous and a little overwhelming. I took a step back, struggling to breathe normally as he approached.
“I didn’t see anything if that’s what you’re worried about.”
It seemed he was taking pity on me as he uttered these words. I didn’t want his pity, and I didn’t want him looking at me like I was a child. I already got enough of that from Bret. “Good.”
“Bethany…”
“We should get back. It’s getting late.”
I turned away as I tried to retain my remaining shreds of dignity. He grabbed hold of my hand and pulled me back. A small cry escaped me but it was buried beneath the press of his lips. Even though I was frozen in place my instant physical reaction to him was startling in its intensity. I knew that I should pull away, that this was completely wrong, but I couldn't find the strength to do so. He cradled my cheeks as he pulled me closer to him. For the first time I began to feel safe, for the first time I didn't hurt and I wasn’t terrified. In his arms I felt as if there was no one else in the world, but us.
His lips brushed against mine, just a butterfly caress, before he pulled reluctantly away. His forehead rested against mine, his fingers stroked my cheeks. I didn’t want the moment to ever end, didn’t ever want to part from him, but I had to. We had to.
“Why are you doing this?” I whispered.
His eyes deliberately surveyed my face. “Isn’t it obvious?” I shook my head. He sighed as his lips brushed over mine again. Heat pooled through me once more, my heart beat a rapid staccato that I was sure he could hear. “It should be.”
“But, Bret...” He didn't move away from me, as I’d thought he would at the reminder of my boyfriend. “Bret’s a good person.”
“He is.”
“He loves me.”
“This has nothing to do with him Bethany.”
“But it does.” I closed my eyes, unable to meet the stark candor of his gaze.
“I’ll tell him if you want.”
My mouth dropped as my eyes flew open. “That’s not what I want!” I blurted. I didn’t want Bret to know anything about this. It would be such a huge weight off my chest, such a giant burden taken from me to tell him about my infidelity. However, I wasn't going to upset Bret simply to ease my conscious. But there was a part of me that yearned to let this out so badly that I almost wept at the joyous thought of it.
“Then what do you want? I’ll give you anything you ask for, just tell me.” His voice was raspy with desire.
My throat was clogged with tears for him, for Bret. I had no intention of hurting Cade either, but I suddenly realized that I was. “I don’t know Cade. I don’t even know what this is. I don’t even know if we’re still going to be alive tomorrow morning. I know that I don’t want to hurt Bret, I just can’t, he deserves better. We, all of us, are all that we have right now. We have to trust each other in order to survive. Bret is a good guy, he loves me, and I can't betray his trust anymore than I already have.”
“He does love you.” I hadn't expected Cade to say that he loved me too, there was no way that he could, but I hadn’t expected such a nonchalant confirmation like the one he gave.
“He deserves better.”
Cade frowned at me. “Then you?”
I licked my lips as my gaze darted anxiously toward the trees. His fingers slid over my face again. “Yes, he deserves far better than me. I’m so confused.”
“I’m not. There is no better than you.”
Before I could protest his statement he was kissing me again. His arms were around me and I was no longer confused, I suddenly knew where I belonged. It was the oddest, most bewildering, and most breathtaking feeling I'd ever experienced. How could I feel like this for someone I barely knew? How could this feel so right and good, when it would only hurt people?
It was the sound of Cade’s name being called that tore me away from him again. I was so ensnared in a cocoon of warmth and pleasure that thoughts weren't properly coalescing in my brain, but Cade was quick to recover. My eyes widened as a thunderous expression crossed his face. He cursed as he released me and stalked toward the forest as my name was called.
“Jenna!” he snarled. “Jenna be quiet!”
“Where are you? Is Bethany with you?” His eyes smoldered as they met mine again. I felt as if I was just seeing him for the first time, who was this person that was so undeniably angry over such a small thing? “Cade!”